seriously, how do mums afford to work??

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am currently on ML and wondering about getting back to work. looking at what the cheapest childcare might cost me in London, once i factor in travel, i think i will be left with approximately £4 a day. i am not exaggerating. what on earth is the point? am i missing something??? £4 for all the hassle of rushing to drop off/pick up in time, deal with sick days, deal with work stress, and miss my gorgeous daughter for 10 hours a day. how do you all manage?

Agree, Cat64. I don't hear many men saying "by the time I've paid for mortgage/rent, food, clothes, transport etc it's hardly worth working", yet lots of women make these calculations about childcare.

child benefit isn't means tested because it is cheaper not to (I gather) tax credits are but are more susceptible to fraud (and of course means testing isn't 100% reliable)

I have some committee involvement with a local nursery and they are struggling to get to grips with people taking places to falsely claim tax credits (interesting when they called tax credits to 'report' these people tax credits basically told them they weren't interested!)

Hi - here's how we managed:

when the children were babies, I commuted into the city and worked 3 days a week; DH gave up his job and looked after the wee ones at home; first time round I was breastfeeding, and expressing milk at work, and I well remember crossing my arms in front of my chest when meetings overran! I saved up a bit more when we were thinking about no. 2, and took 9 months off work when he was born. I think maternity leave is better now - my eldest is 10 and I had to go back to work when he was 15 weeks old.

Now they are both at school, I work at a rather less well-paid job, full-time, closer to home - on the other hand I save myself 2 hours of (unpaid) commuting per day! DH now works in the city 3 days a week. I do the school run 2 days a week (which I enjoy - we do it by bicycle), he does it 2 days a week, and my FIL picks them up one day a week as it coincides with something he does that day. We only worked it this way because the after-school club had no vacancies! I would say it's a lot easier working closer to home.

They are not babies forever and you have to get a balance for you, and them, and your partner.

What do you 'hardly worth working'?
I earn a reasonable salary and pay ridiculous amounts of childcare but still have about £400 disposable income each month. It's not huge but it's still worth working.
I also look at it that we wouldn't just lose my salary if I quit work, DH would also get my expenses as well, which even if they were small and we weren't paying any childcare would be another expense for him.

Sorry, that was supposed to say, what do you consider hardly worth working?

While nursery fees are crippling, child care gets much more complicated when school starts (and the costs don't suddenlt stop). The only reason I am working like other mnnetter said is for pension, paid holiday and sick pay quite frankly.

Hello!
I've been reading this thread with interest and have a dilema thats been keeping me awake for the last six months or so.
Me and DH have 2 children (2.6yrs and 15 months) and a DS from husbands previous releationship.
We've been very lucky to have had DH parents provide the childcare so I can work compressed hours Mon-Thur and DH F/T too.
Sadly my FIL died from lung cancer in Feb after diagnosois in Jan 2009.
My MIL loves absolutley loves DC and has always said that they have kept her going through these sad times.
However, she herself has just been diagnosed with suspected lung cancer herself and we have an oncology appointment this Friday to discuss the full severity (if its spread, what sort of treatment etc).
While we are reeling from the possiblilty of DH mum being so ill and possibly dying
I'm so worried as to how to work the childcare arrangements. (I know its horribly practical in the light of such sadness but I know my boss will be asking soon how I plan to tackle this)
My 2.6 yr old goes to nursery already 2 days a week 8-3 at a cost of £270 per month, so to also include my DD and to put them both in FT would be in excess of £1000 which we just don't have. We're not entitled to any help as we earn a fairly good wage between us.
I cannot work PT as the job is only FT hours.
No other family to help out.
I just don't know what to do. My DH seems to be in denial about all of it and keeps saying 'it will work out' but I don't see how.
I do enjoy my job and have worked hard to get where I am. If I left I don't think I would ever get the same sort of job with the same benefits.
However I feel that I'm going to have to leave as I have no childcare option.
We have a mortgage and various other debts too so I just really don't know what to do tbh. I feel like I've done a piss-poor job of looking after my childrens financial security as if we had have been more careful, we may not be where we are right now.
I'm so frightened that we're going to lose everything and that I'll be losing my childrens home.
Has anyone else been in this sort of situation or similar?
Any advice would be so gratefully received, thank you for listening to me vent

Childcare for my 3 costs the same as my take home pay. Therefore as of today I am unemployed as technically my maternity leave ended yesterday and I had to hand my notice in.

No unpaid childcare option...so I am now going to look for twilight / night shifts pref on weekends to bring some money in and hope to god the twins start sleeping through the night shortly!!!!

Read this all with interest. I went for an interview yesterday as a catering assistant, ideal as it is term time only and 3-4 hours a day from 10 am. I can drop my kids off, do a shift and be around for the school run. The downside of all this is that it is minimum wage. We no longer receive tax credits and I rang them last night to see if we were eligible for any help with nursery care for my youngest. We are not, so going back to work for me means my childcare costs actually cost me more than I earn. DH looking after our youngest isn't an option as he works irregular hours and is away a lot, parents will not commit to any childcare.

Not looking for any sympathy, just outlining my own experience. On balance, I will probably accept the job, as I am hoping it will give me some confidence and a boost to get back into the workplace more fully once both my girls are in school.

I applaud the advice that sometimes it is better to go to work an earn 'a loss' if your career will build and pay off in the long run.

I can understand how hard and aweful it will be as I have effectively worked for free before but now I have a top job. At the time I was criticised heavily and told I was nuts. At the time I just got on with it.

Now it is the opposite I get people assuming I somehow 'got lucky'.

It is your choice and neither will be easy.

From reading MN it seems to me that many people think in very short terms about these sort of issues.

Years out of paid employment take their toll on employability and promotions and steady progress up the career ladder. They make a difference to pension contributions too. So I'd really think twice about staying at home. Read the threads about people returning to work after 5 years out of the workforce and having to start at the bottom all over again.

It's hard - I know it's hard - but actually I think that returning to work is easier than staying at home. Particularly after more than one DC. For me, work represented a calm and orderly environment in which to do something constructive. Something of a sanctuary actually.

Your workplace is a sanctuary? Lucky you! I feel like I'm fighting in a warzone in mine. Not all of us have the luxury of peace and contentment at work.

I think you should do whatever feels right for you at any particular time. Trust your intuition rather than your logical mind.

Hammy - Apologies for sounding extremely mercenary but does MIL have money/house you could sell? Only asking as any inheritance could provide you with income, at least until your eldest starts school.

I have 5 DC so childcare would be outrageous but I am kind of glad it would cost me to work as I don't have to justify so much to others being a SAHM. I love it (I used to work f/t and then p/t with DD in nursery f/t). I am using this time also to improve m education and I also volunteer every now and then to keep up my confidence and look good on a CV in case I ever need/want to get a job. I know it is a risk with pension etc but it is worth it to me to have this time with my kids.

childcare and working is a total nightmare! I am looking in to going back to work in a professional career that I trained long for but left 4 years ago.I need to do 6 months unpiad placement to get back in. No family to help out with childcare which I would need for at least 2 out of my 6 children. Cant clain working tax credit childcare help as it is unpaid (although apparently I could clain if I was in prison!!) so would have to borrow the money to pay childcare as we NO money spare each month at the moment. So then when I do get a job we would have to be paying all that back, plus paying for ongoing childcare, plus loosing £300 child tax credit....ridiculous!!!
Only reason I am considering it is to get my career back on track for long term reasons, but even then not sure how worth while it will be....
This whole thing is so screwed up....

I am long term stay at home Mum, my children are all going to be leaving home in the next four years if they choose uni. We have had no close family to help at all and my husband had a stressful job with long hours, and I really wanted to stay at home with them for various reasons, turned down a place at Uni to stay at home, I do not regret a minute (well almost, esp teenagers rows!)of it but I do worry that I shall be left standing holding a dustpan and brush in an empty house! I have dabbled with various bits along the way but nothing that has built in to a career. Very late 40's, am I unemployable? I honestly cannot think of anything I would like to return to!

we pay 2k per month. 1k each
crucifying