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Original poster

seriously, how do mums afford to work??

167 replies

omaoma · 16/07/2009 01:23

am currently on ML and wondering about getting back to work. looking at what the cheapest childcare might cost me in London, once i factor in travel, i think i will be left with approximately £4 a day. i am not exaggerating. what on earth is the point? am i missing something??? £4 for all the hassle of rushing to drop off/pick up in time, deal with sick days, deal with work stress, and miss my gorgeous daughter for 10 hours a day. how do you all manage?

OP posts:

idranktheteaatwork · 10/08/2009 14:00

husband

AnnieLobeseder · 10/08/2009 14:02

Yeah well, we're still broke at the end of the day. I need to work cos we need the money, but can't afford to. So the whole "means tested" thing needs testing again, doesn't it?

I doubt I'm better off than many others on here. We budget, have cars well over 10yo, don't go on holiday, don't eat out, buy 2nd hand everything, but still barely scrape by. So yes, I'd like some help please!

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:03

I made no money for ages. My childcare bills are astronomical but I can't manage working any other way

and contrary to what might have been said on here, it gets no easier once they are in school. In fact, I've found it more expensive as I've had to swap to using a nanny from using a nursery.

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:03

I am counting down to mine being secondary age!

AnnieLobeseder · 10/08/2009 14:07

See, another one! So many women either not making any money from working, or unable to work! It's not a rare few of us, there are loads of us! How can any of you argue that that's as it should be? Something is very seriously wrong with this picture!

stealthsquiggle · 10/08/2009 14:07

foxinsocks I wasn't going to mention the holidays but to the OP on the basis that it is a nice long way away for her - childcare costs do trend down from age 2 until school - but then you have holidays. I have actually (finally) got holidays down to an average of £19/working day for DS through careful selection of holiday clubs, which is a lot less than nursery, but still means ~£60/day for both DC .

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:10

you've got to look at your joint income though

so taking account your dh/dp (if you have one)

I make money now but I didn't at first but I went back knowing that if I did, over time my salary would increase iyswim.

Sometimes you just have to do these things to get where you want to be iyswim!

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:10

that's very impressive stealth and no doubt required a huge degree of organisation!

stealthsquiggle · 10/08/2009 14:12

..and a major contribution from the low cost of (not for profit) holiday clubs run by the local children's centre - which fortunately are also DS's favourite.

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:12

I agree with Fio re responsibility though.

Having said that, I would far rather high earners got no child benefit and that money was spent on helping single parents/lower earners with childcare tbh.

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:13

lol stealth! Good for ds!

SOLOisMeredithGrey · 10/08/2009 14:19

OP, why don't you enquire about a career break? that way, you may still have a job to return to later on...career breaks can usually be taken for up to five years.

It's what I'm doing atm for the same reasons.

idranktheteaatwork · 10/08/2009 14:20

But Annie, you live the same way that lots and lots of parents of young children live because that's life.
I have friends of varying ages, ones at my age, early thirties and with young/primary age children are generally on a budget, the older ones, ie early forties with teens and no childcare etc are generally much better off. Simply because their outgoings have reduced.

I really don't understand this sense of entitlement to being "comfortably off".
Surely it's something that is worked at and comes in time. It's not down to the government to subsidise holidays and newer cars.

EyeballsintheSky · 10/08/2009 14:20

I work three days a week and, after travel and childcare, I make a grand total of £3500 a year. Luckily, the two grandmothers have dd one day a week each so I only pay for one day at nursery but if, as is likely to happen soon, one of the grandmothers pulls out, then my childcare bill will double and I will be working for about £1000 a year. But we can't afford not to have that money, so I continue to juggle everything and I leave dd three days a week, which I really don't want to do, for next to nothing. Hey ho, it's how it is and I can't see it changing.

Ideally we'd like another dc and ironically, would be far better off with me on mat leave again because no childcare and no travel. But it's looking unlikely at the moment.

stealthsquiggle · 10/08/2009 14:25

There's no 'sense of entitlement' about thinking that if you have worked hard and gained qualifications and experience to get a 'good' job, the sums should in some way add up such that you can continue to work after you have a child and actually earn more than your childcare costs.

It is no-one's 'fault' but in the grand scheme of things it should be in the wider interests of the economy to keep skilled workers in work and therefore contributing (through tax and through general productivity, etc - or more directly - one of my best friends is a doctor and is in exactly this position - if she 'gives up' and stays at home then all the public cost of her training is wasted and the NHS is short of yet another doctor - how does that make sense?)

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:29

Annie, if your household income is under £50k then I think you would be entitled to tax credits (I always get their name wrong and expat always corrects me!).

entitledto.co.uk is a good website for checking that you are getting everything you are entitled to

oneopinionatedmother · 10/08/2009 14:29

look into tax credits - how does it work once yo've factored that in?

foxinsocks · 10/08/2009 14:35

but I don't/can't believe that a doctor doesn't earn enough to cover childcare.

was looking up doctor's salaries the other day for a friend of mine and they aren't bad!

idranktheteaatwork · 10/08/2009 14:35

Stealth, I worked hard, got good qualifications and got a good job, when i first went back to work i was earning less than my bills, no luxuries, no heating for an entire winter.
9 yrs later it is much better, childcare costs gradually reduce, earnings increase, careers get better.

I don't feel that Annielobseder is making the same point as you though.
And i still don't think that the government should subsidise people because they want to have a holiday or a newer car.
In the situation that Annielobseder described she can still be in the wroking arena, she chooses not to be.

sprogger · 10/08/2009 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieLobeseder · 10/08/2009 14:35

The only sense of entitlement I feel is the entitlement to continue to be able to work at my career, which I trained hard for, without actaully have to pay to do so now that I have children!"

idranktheteaatwork · 10/08/2009 14:36

working

idranktheteaatwork · 10/08/2009 14:37

So you feel that you should get free childcare then? So all those childcare workers should be unpaid should they?

Lord forbid we should actually have to pay for a service.

Am off to eat my chocolate tart.

AnnieLobeseder · 10/08/2009 14:40

I don't want flipping holidays and a new car (well, I do, but don't feel entitled to them!). FFS, tea, now you've really annoyed me! I was only trying to make the point that my DH isn't quite the high earner that the gvt seems to think he is, since we're living on the breadline.

You say I could still be in the work arena. Yes, I could. But why should I have to retrain or work as an unskilled labourer when I spent a lot of money and years of my life becoming skilled!?!

AnnieLobeseder · 10/08/2009 14:41

Gah, FFS!!! I don't want sodding free childcare, I want some degree of help so that I don't actually end up paying to work. Are you being deliberately difficult, idrank?

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