Would you put in a job application for a £20k pay rise if......................

[sylar]

....it meant you couldn't collect your DCs from school? Have spent the morning completing a job application but really don't know whether to go for it or not. I've already been told I am very likely to get the job and it would be a big pay rise and good pension BUT I like my current job and it gives me the flexibility I wanted for September when DS starts school. I had planned to be able to collect him every day. This new job will probably involve a fair amount of travelling and I wouldn't be able to do that. Plus I don't think I would enjoy the job as much as my existing job.

Feel I should apply because its a big increase in pay and benefits but I'm worried about losing that flexibility.

What would you do? Its the old working guilt thing again really.

Go for it

Yes I would. If it meant I finished at 5 rather than 3 every day. If it was more than just bog standard office hours and lots of nights away etc then I would have to seriously look at whether we could afford for me not to take the job because I'm not sure that it would be a sacrifice I would be prepared to make, large pay increase or not.

How do you think you'll feel a few years down the line?

Will you be resenting your DCs and feeling you sacrificed your career for them, or would you be cursing yourself for making all of your lives more complicated?

How much support care do you have around (childminders, family, available DH?).

Do you think a man would be asking himself this question ?

But of course pay is not the be-all and end-all as most women know too.

Sounds like you don't really want the new job. There are some things that money can't buy.
would you be able to sacrifice the big wage for a few years and then apply for a higher paid job when your DS is older?

The enjoyment factor is a problem though. I wouldn't take a job that meant sacrificing a part of family life you had hoped to retain (school pick up) and also meant that I would be doing something I didn't like.

In short, I wouldn't do it just for the money if the other bits didn't stack up too. The £20k pay rise won't mean a lot if you are miserable.

I would do it if the hours were around 40hrs pw and the travel was workable and the job appealed to me in more ways than just the larger salary.

I wouldn't if I didn't need the money.
Assuming I could go back full time to my currenr job (which I probably could if I requested it) I would be looking at a similar pay rise.
I LOVE being able to be there for ds1 after school, and having time with ds2.
When ds2 starts school next Sep I will probably pick up the Friday that I don't work aswell, but I'm not increasing my daily hours (9am - 2pm) which allow me to do the schol drop off and pick up.

Really no idea how we'd manage the school thing. We had planned that DH would do the morning run to nursery and school and I would do the pick up. DS would be able to stay at after school club until 5.30 but that would put all the pressure on DH. At the moment we share the pick up duties. DH's job isn't 9-5 and he couldn't guarantee that he could get away every day on time.

As an added male/female angle on this I would actually be the higher earner (by the 20k in question)

Already have a very demanding job but I am able to work at home in the evenings. The new job would be much harder to manage with the travel element.

I could do the job easily but am concerned it wouldn't challenge me in the way my current job does. At the same time I feel I'm taken for granted in existing job. Love my job - feel I should be paid more for doing it (don't we all )

could you use the extra income to pay a nanny?
then there wouldn't be any pressure on your DH to be in time for pick up. It might be useful if you do have to do some travelling too.

20K is a lot of money, plus the benefits and pension. Where's the travel? If in the UK, I wouldn't be so tempted. Would you be able to have your old job back in a few months' time if things didn't turn out well?

I would get an extra 5 days holiday so that helps. And there wouldn't be any overnight stuff (at least very rarely). The hours commitment would probably be no more than I currently work. It would just be that I would often get home at 7ish. Whereas current job I would finish at 3.30 and then work once the DC's were in bed. Plus there would be some evening meetings (only a couple a month though)

I do earn good money but its still a big jump. Plus I'm working on the basis that the pay would be the middle of the pay band. If I could negotiate well then it could be nearly 28k.

AAAggh - just don't know. Its a good opportunity but I was trying to do the "Have it all" thing where I earn decent money and also do the mummy at the school gates bit.

As an added element DH's job isn't entirely secure which means that the incresae in salary would put us in a far better position in terms of financial security.

DH wants me to go for it.

7 pm is very late, though.

I really wouldn't worry about the school gate stuff. No-one's watching, you know. You don't need to be accountable for doing the school gate thing to anyone. I would worry about the 7pm arrivals, however, as that is very late. Two evening meetings a month means every other week another evening when the children see v little of you. It may also mean you'd feel obliged to your DH not to take any other time off for yourself in the evenings and so miss out on meeting with your own friends etc. (I work on calls till 8pm occasionally, and that's how I feel.)

Could your DH reduce his hours and do the school run instead of you?

I don't think the school run is the main issue, though, if the OP still gets home late.

DH couldn't reduce his hours but could pick up most days if we used the after school club every day. It would be the times he had late meetings that would be a problem.

The reality is that currently I work 9-5.30 and so we don't collect the DC's from nursery until 6 anyway. Its just I'd planned on that changing in september and my employer had agreed it was ok to finish early and work in the evenings at home to make up the hours.

DS would not notice any difference. But I wouldn't spend the time with him and DS2 that I had been looking forward to.

Its a good job opportunity with very good prospects. I would be earning immediately the sort of money that I would hope to earn in 7-10 years time in my existing job.

I think I'm just goinng to have to stick in the application and see what happens and make the decision then. The problem with that is its a job linked in a way to my existing job and I don't want to annoy anyone by turning it down if I did get it.

Good luck, Sylar. See what happens. It may mean just a couple of years and then you get in a position where you can dictate your hours better.

I agree with Mutt, if the only reason you are contemplating it is money and you are managing currently, then flexibility and enjoyment of a job is more important. especially as you must have been really keen to be able to pick up your DC from school to have already organised it with your current employer.

It must be a very difficult decision though.

I see, so you haven't yet tried the 'finish at 3 and then make the hours up in the evening' way of working? You may find in any case this isn't as easy as it sounds. By evening you will be knackered (aren't we all) and have to switch back on into 'work mode' once the kids are in bed. I do it quite often but by choice not necessity.

I'd be tempted to apply for the job and see what your options are if you get it. Can you have an 'off the record' chat about the role to sound them out in advance?

Agree that 7 pm is rather late, why would it be so late every day? Could you work reduced hours? For an extra 20-28K pro-rataed down you'd still be up quite a good wodge of cash.

I currently have to work in the evenings anyway (because I have an afternoon off with the DCs) and so am used to that. I'm also starting work earlier from september. Not worried about the existing job since I know I can do that with the shifted hours.

Very little flexibility with the new job since its a senior position. Its being sold as potentially flexible because they're keen to get me in but I know too much about the job and the reality is that it wouldn't be. The late evenings would be partly due to the seniority and the need to be visible and then partly the travel element and partly because its based further from home.

To complicate even more we had just put an offer in on a house which would be too far away from new job!! Life is never straightforward!

Although I am aware the others have bigger problems than whether to earn an extra 20k

Life's bloody complicated, isn't it?!

I think you should challenge them on the flexibility aspect, in the terms you've specified, i.e. would later working be expected in order to have higher visibility etc - if they're keen it's worth asking.

But all things being equal, if the offer is accepted on the new house and that all goes through it takes the option away. I'd still go for the interview and see what happens. I think it's a classic case of "whatever will be will be" - fingers crossed and keep us posted!

I'd probably go for it and get an au pair! Or maybe not....I understand where you're coming from. I've been headhunted on the odd occasion for these fab jobs that involve huge pay rises but require much more commitment on my side. I haven't actually got as far as being offered one yet though .

My thinking though is that if I didn't do the school run, and the job was in a suitable location, I could prob do an extra hour or so each day in the office without it affecting "family time" at all. I quite often work in the evening too when necessary.

If you actually prefer your current job though, and the new one would involve more complicated arrangements and more stress....it is tricky. Do you currently have a cleaner or any household help?