posted this message without a title, ooops, sorry . forgot to mention as well that one of the problems is i no longer feel i can talk freely at home, eg talk about work, because i'm worried my kids will say something to her kids and it will get back to her and work will be even worse. i've applied for 10 jobs in the last 2 months to get out of this situation so its not as if i'm not trying to sort it out, but have got nothing so far.