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Original poster

How to switch off and forget work???????

29 replies

happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:06

I have a very stressful job, managing some particularly unpleasant people (and some nice ones).

i have only been doing it 6 months and the pay is excellent (hence why i haven't jacked it in YET)... but i just CANNOT switch off - its awful, non stop ticking over in my mind worrying, planning, "dealing" with the nasty people in my head, i even dream about work and wake up stressed.

its starting to take over my life and i really don't want to jack it cause i'm a single parent and finally earning decent dosh... please please somebody help me!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
llareggub · 10/07/2008 21:07

mumsnet

Original poster
happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:11

hhehee

OP posts:
StressTeddy · 10/07/2008 21:13

oh I agree - mn and glass of wine

Original poster
happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:14

goes off to get (another) glass of wine

OP posts:
looopy · 10/07/2008 21:16

agree but sometimes I realise the glass of wine has turned into a bottle!

StressTeddy · 10/07/2008 21:16

seriously, try being really active
Make a cake?
clean something?

Nope, first option still sounding favourable

Cheers babe

Original poster
happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:28

hmmm i am knackered after work.. make a cake?? eat one, yes. The wine still wins... er nothing wrong with a bottle is there?

OP posts:
ScottishMummy · 10/07/2008 21:29

give yourself permission to switch off.
differentiate home time from work time. bath,wine,
fave dvd,
pampering with hair conditioner, face mask etc, aromatherapy oils in bath
good book

finally deep breath- it is only a job. honestly

PeaMcLean · 10/07/2008 21:32

Do you ever check emails from home? Bring work home? That's the killer for me cos I then spend time in the evenign thinking work instead of switching off. MN helps, and gardening.

Original poster
happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:32

Its very good advice SM - just brought all the Sex and City DVDs! Trouble is i then go off to bed and it all comes back to me. Maybe a good man is needed, anyone got a spare one?!

OP posts:
OrmIrian · 10/07/2008 21:33

Don't know. But recently I've been trying the wine treatment a bit too much

2cats2many · 10/07/2008 21:34

At stressful times with my job, I write a list of all the things I have to deal with the next day, worries, etc when I get home.

Some how that seems to help me to 'park' those issues until the next day when I'm back at work.

Evelynsmum · 10/07/2008 21:35

A bit hippy but a relaxation CD may help...

ScottishMummy · 10/07/2008 21:37

oh i am loving SATC again. coo had forgoten i liked it

deanychip · 10/07/2008 21:37

hmm, i had this problem, still do sometimes.
My job is also very very stressful and i have always ticked stuff over in my head at night and in the evenings.
I do find that crap telly works, but i need to watch it for a few hours.
Bed time, i have a notebook at the side of the bed, i write down ideas and strong thoughts and tell myself in my head, "deal with it in the morning"
That kind of subconciously puts it to one side if you will till later.
it is hard, but if you dont sort it, then it will make you ill,

Original poster
happynewme · 10/07/2008 21:38

Yep, Pea i work from home one day a week so have the link at home. I got a day off tomorrow and am NOT NOT NOT logging on!
Think i will try and find relax CD

OP posts:
PeaMcLean · 10/07/2008 21:39

OOOh that's tricky cos then you'll log on to MN, or just to do something or other, then you'll go "oh I'll just check my emails..."

Deadly.

preggersplayspop · 10/07/2008 21:46

If you find the answer please let me know! Whatever you do don't get a blackberry if you find it hard to switch off. They are not called crackberrys for nothing. I have a love-hate relationship with mine.

The list idea is good. Before my maternity leave when I used to be more organised (sigh) I would always write a to do list at the end of the day to tackle the next day. It sort of rounded off the day and helped me close things off in my head before I headed home for the day. Also meant I would start the next day feeling really organised.

What is your commute like? Now I have a slightly longer, but more relaxing one, I find it easier to mentally separate work from home. I have an expensive addiction to magazines which help me switch off on the commute! I have a stressful job but I LOVE crappy magazines and celebrity gossip. It fills my head with something other than work.

Mumsnet is certainly a godsend, i can get lost in it for hours without thinking about work. Just finished working now so having my MN fix before I go to bed in a hopefully relaxed state.

looopy · 10/07/2008 21:46

Know what you mean re checking emails from home, I have to resist so much not to...but try not to I've made the mistake and then got wound up about something. The writing things down is a good idea I often sit up in bed make a few notes and then find with it out of my head I can go to sleep, bath before bed also helps...with the bottle of wine of course, absolutely right nothing wrong with that!

daffodill6 · 10/07/2008 21:50

Swimming helps me - i can fit in 30 lengths twice a week when dd has after school activities --- not talking super fit - just a swift breaststroke witout goggles!

OrmIrian · 10/07/2008 21:53

Exercise is good too. Running helps me but I can't find time every night.

MrsWednesday · 10/07/2008 21:58

Agree with exercise, middle-of-the-night to-do lists and mumsnet! I do find it hard though, and last night I ended up doing some cooking which was surprisingly therapeutic. Hot bath and a good book too.

I try to remind myself that it's only a job and that no one is going to die (only works if you're not a doctor/policeman etc ).

whatdayisit · 10/07/2008 22:08

Run - I find there's no problem too big it can't be solved by a hour's running

Original poster
happynewme · 11/07/2008 15:15

Had a tarot card reading today (not done that for years!) - it was wierd how much came up without me telling her anything at all. Anyway, basics of it were get out of the job because of effects on health and home life. Long term i know its true but going to try and stick it til christmas to get some money stashed away and hopefully find something better and part time til DS is older.

OP posts:
woodstock3 · 12/07/2008 16:44

turn the mobile off if you can once home
agree with the list writing before bed. this will sound weeird but if you are panicking about something, literally start the stopwatch and allow yourself ten minutes 'worrying time' -when it's over, you have to get up and do something else.
use your commute to zone out (trashy magazines?) or else if it's short enough cycle or walk. cycling to and from work (when i lived nearer) was the quickest destresser ever.
how old are your dcs? to be honest i find the quickest way to zone out of work (and like you i do a manic highstress job with lots of absolute arseholes valued colleagues) is to get through the door, deep breath and then do whatever ds wants to do. he is 13mo so likes pottering about at toddler pace, poking things interestedly, opening and shutting door 400 times, which can be infuriating but once you slow down and enter their microcosmic world it's strangely peaceful.
if not, try learning meditation. get a book out of the library or google it - but basically if you can spend ten minutes zoning out thinking about absolutely nothing it does make you calmer for the rest of the day, and it does empty your mind of rubbish, hope this helps.

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