New role stress and lack of support, am I unreasonable to leave?

[Atleastitsnotsunstroke]

I feel vomituously sick with stress. I started a new role and the person I report to has been mainly MIA. When I was working and one of the senior staff who I have never met said that we are spending far too much time on the work. On a personal level I feel it was extremely rude and I wonder if he even realises what a tosser he is, but putting that aside I feel that I have been given responsibility by default for strategy and I am finding it mentally incredibly stressful. Am I unreasonable to walk away from this?
I promised myself that I would not destroy my mental health for work.

I know that feeling and it’s awful. How long have you been in this role? Is it a case that your email/ set up meetings and manager doesn’t reply or turn up? Or turns up and then doesn’t deliver on commitments or turns up but insists it’s your job responsibility? Have you set out in writing to your manager how your role expectations are differing from reality of the job and had a frank 1:1 about that?

If you’re going to walk away, does that mean just quitting without anything to go to (is it going to be hard to replace your current job; if you’re unemployed what impact does that have). Will you still have to work a notice period?

If things changed for the better, what would need to happen and would it really change how you feel about the job?

I agree that sometimes cutting your losses is a good idea.

I am sorry you aren't happy in your new role OP. I do however struggle with why this is a 'mental health' issue.

You have taken a new role in good faith but it is the wrong job for you. It is one of not what you expected, too demanding for you, not your skill set, wrong personality fit.... many reasons with the exact one not being entirely clear from what you say. That's life, and we all get it wrong sometimes. All of us will go through stressful and challenging times in our life sometimes self made and other times not our responsibility at all. Do you really expect to live with no drama, no challenge, no moments, no reflection? do you want to live in a bubble?

TBH, I'd say you got this job move terribly wrong, or were just not prepared for it. Step up and embrace it, or run away from it. Either is fine. Calling out MH and stress in a new role feels very misaligned to me.

How long have you been in this role? Are you junior, mid-level or senior?

Is this supposed to be a step up/promotion/more pay? Why did you change jobs to begin with?

It is normal to feel out-of-depth for the first year. It takes me that long to find my feet. There were times I hated it and even cried but I did not want my CV to have this hole so stuck it out. In the end, it was fine.

You are stressed but I would agree with @Tortephant this is not obviously a mental health issue. This role is a stretch if it includes strategy. What is wrong in principle with doing strategy? You will need to make connections with your other workmates to suss out the senior staff member (maybe he is a d__k to everyone). Do you report to him? Who is making you do strategy by default?

Why isn't your manager contactable and do you have an ETA when the manager will be back?

What have you tried so far to make your situation better?

I asked for clarity and he said do whatever you want. In terms of my expectations, I wasn't expecting this specific work immediately. My manager is leaving.

I am very happy to have feedback and constructive criticism. I would probably agree on wrong fit.

I guess maybe I am also just more tired than I thought. I am not blaming the job for my stress, I just mean stress is one deciding factor in whether to leave. To be clear if I leave then I am probably going to take step down, or start something else. Its a fixed term role due to staff sickness. My last role had a lot of focus in one area and I wanted focus in another area which this offers. I have tried working harder to make sure the work is done well.

Is the stress mostly caused because of responsibility you’re not comfortable with, i.e, taking the lead on strategy, or because of the sense the senior staff member has given you that you are taking too long to do the work?

I spoke to someone today abput the work and they have rearranged how its going to be done in future. Amazing so glad I spoke up.