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Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

144 replies

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 20:57

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · Yesterday 21:00

Stick it out while you're looking for something else.

CarerBurnout · Yesterday 21:00

Do you have anything in writing about your expected shift pattern?

Your colleague sounds difficult to work with. Maybe this is why they were hiring for your role.

Overthebow · Yesterday 21:02

Have you got an agreed shift pattern?

OneZanyPoet · Yesterday 21:03

Surely you don’t discuss it with her at all you discuss it with the person who makes the roster.

If you decide you push it simply tell them: You weren’t hired with the stipulation you would cover all early shifts and don’t expect that to happen. Ask why it is happening. If you are told ‘well Helen only likes to work lates’ ask what official policy that arrangement comes under. Keep as much communication in writing as you can. Keep repeating yourself.

You may find out that shifts are at the discretion of the roster maker and that’s it though. If there’s no policy saying otherwise, there’s not much to cover the situation.

TheBlueKoala · Yesterday 21:04

@Middlechild3 Don't talk about her at all- talk to the roster about YOUR needs and wishes regardless what you know about her situation.

Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 21:05

What would be your ideal shift allocation ?

DewDropsAndCobWebs · Yesterday 21:09

Nothing to do with her, it's between you and HR.
I'd speak to your manager/hr and explain you want the shifts you signed up for on your contract/how it was advertised

Denim4ever · Yesterday 21:10

Hmm, so you want to make it inconvenient for someone else more established than you are. I can't see that happening

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · Yesterday 21:12

Work out what you want and push for that with your line manager.
Dont even discuss it with her.

LoftyCoralBird · Yesterday 21:13

I used to do rotas. Just speak to the chap organising the rotas and let him know the issue and your preferences, not your colleague. Your manager has the overview.

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:20

Denim4ever · Yesterday 21:10

Hmm, so you want to make it inconvenient for someone else more established than you are. I can't see that happening

no, I want the t&c I accepted the role on

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 21:21

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:20

no, I want the t&c I accepted the role on

Which were what?

Noyoung · Yesterday 21:22

How long has she been there for?

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:22

Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 21:05

What would be your ideal shift allocation ?

rough 2/2/2 I took the contract on. NOT all or majority of one shift type.

OP posts:
Noyoung · Yesterday 21:22

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:20

no, I want the t&c I accepted the role on

Well then pursue it with your manager / HR

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:23

Shinyandnew1 · Yesterday 21:21

Which were what?

2/2/2 as stated before

OP posts:
Noyoung · Yesterday 21:24

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:23

2/2/2 as stated before

To mumsnet

but have you actually used words either hr / your manager to convey this

HRHCurmudgeon · Yesterday 21:25

What does 2/2/2 mean?

Gardenisablooming · Yesterday 21:27

Similar happened at my friends work. The woman went on maternity leave. Demanded a whole new schedule to work around her dc. She didn't get it. 4 weeks later announced another pregnancy and another maternity leave quite soon. Those with dc shouldn't expect special treatment... Or bloody free childcare!
My sil had 6 dc. Raised by my ils. They had no time /energy than is for an hour visit a week.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · Yesterday 21:27

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:20

no, I want the t&c I accepted the role on

Yeah just check your contract and enforce it.
Assuming it says
2 Early shifts
2 Late/swing shifts
2 Night shifts
4 Days off
Ask that you work this shift pattern

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:28

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · Yesterday 21:27

Yeah just check your contract and enforce it.
Assuming it says
2 Early shifts
2 Late/swing shifts
2 Night shifts
4 Days off
Ask that you work this shift pattern

yes something like this

OP posts:
Noyoung · Yesterday 21:29

It would seem you’ve come to mumsnet rather than your manager or Hr?

Tappings · Yesterday 21:30

Attack this head on and immediately with rosta guy. Don't wait until they know you or whatever.

"The job was offered on a 2,2,2 basis, which is what I accepted. I understand flexibility is needed when people are on leave but other than that the terms needs to be honoured".

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:32

Gardenisablooming · Yesterday 21:27

Similar happened at my friends work. The woman went on maternity leave. Demanded a whole new schedule to work around her dc. She didn't get it. 4 weeks later announced another pregnancy and another maternity leave quite soon. Those with dc shouldn't expect special treatment... Or bloody free childcare!
My sil had 6 dc. Raised by my ils. They had no time /energy than is for an hour visit a week.

lol, my colleague is very entitled about it all. Its worked for her to date because my predessor was manipulated into putting up with it, for years!

OP posts:
Noyoung · Yesterday 21:33

Middlechild3 · Yesterday 21:32

lol, my colleague is very entitled about it all. Its worked for her to date because my predessor was manipulated into putting up with it, for years!

Don’t patronise your predecessor
You have no idea what your predecessor thought