Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

[Middlechild3]

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

You're definitely in the right Op. I don't bow down to entitled bullies. If her contracted shifts aren't working for her she needs to find another job.

It very much does not..

Wow, she just wants the job she was hired for, not the much more inconvenient job her colleaugue would like to give her!! Lots of good advice here op, just communicate with management not her and say when do the next round of shifts come out? I was hired on this 2/2/2 basis as per my contract so would like to book in plans for the mornings for when I’m working lates (or whatever.)
as for this poster and all the people criticising the op, I’d love to hear how they bend over backwards every week to structure their work times and roles to suit colleagues and inconvenience themselves. Can’t have an evening hobby even though it’s fine with my contract because it wouldn’t make Pam happy, no problems, I didn’t need a life anyways.
I have full time childcare like normal people who don’t take the piss.

I would HATE all earlies, I’ve done it for a few months and it never got better. now we are parents it wouldn’t suit our lives at all as dh leaves early, so if my job became all earlies that would be my notice handed in.

I am on team OP here. The colleague has chosen a selfish lifestyle where she burdens the community with children and expects those who have chosen a less self serving lifestyle to sub her out. She is already profiting in terms of child allowance, paid maternity leave etc from the tax contributions of others but wants to continue living on their grace and favour.

@Middlechild3 such a strange thread with all the negativity towards the op. I suspect lots of shift workers here or people who know the op. Personally id be speaking to the rota person and clarifying what I had agreed to. Who cares about your colleague? I think if she were less presumptuous, you may have been flexible, but you really dont owe her anything. Do what's best for you and your family.

If your contract states a certain pattern then go to management if rota is issued that doesnt follow it.
Id suggest you join a union too
If colleague starts on you either dont engage or if she wont leave you alone state that you will be working what contract says and if she has an issue she needs to speak to management

@Middlechild3 people are so odd! It’s obvious that you’re worried about this, not unreasonably, and just want advice as to how to approach it, I can see nothing spiteful or whatever in this

And instructing you on which shifts you should want 🙈

I’d do what the helpful people have suggested and speak to the roster person if your allocated shifts are not as set out in your contract. It’s not your job just meekly to put up with things just to keep the peace

Good luck

I think it means 24 hours broken into 3 shifts. Usually you have a revolving roster. Quite common in emergency services, railways etc.

Well seeing as it sounds like the colleague isn't very good at her job, that would be bonus.

Most workplaces have someone like this. Does the bare minimum, prioritises their home life to the detriment of work and colleagues, top of the sick leave chart for every last sniffle and 'upset stomach'.

Hold your ground OP, and insist on working the shift pattern you signed up for.

Of course claim your fair rights.
But be open minded.

Is there a shift that you would prefer more of? Would your co-worker prefer fewer of those shifts? There might be a way for you both to prosper.

rtt

I don’t think you should have to accept it, no. Speak to your manager or HR if the rota person insists on favouritism.

Especially this one.

My partner and I used to work shifts for the same employer. As such, they were obliged to roster us on different shifts so that we could manage drop offs and pick ups. We would never have managed without paid childcare etc.
I can't believe this person is trying to swing the system to suit themselves and not give a fig for the lives or mental health or whatever of anyone else around them. That is so selfish.

It seems a lot of your repliers are people who've never working in healthcare and never worked shifts! So they should refrain from commenting.
As you've said OP, best thing is to play dumb to the previous arrangements, talk to the rosterer, and call them out if there is any favouritism in rostering. (Which is the quickest way to a toxic culture). Shift swaps with a willing colleague is one thing - expecting the earth to revolve around you and your DC is way different
Good luck!

I was in this situation many moons ago made worse by the fact that the job was part time. I was told that it was a 5 or 6 week rolling rotation but when I got sent to the location, they had decided to let people pick a week to work permanently. Of course the majority of the weeks had been cherry picked meaning that the only weeks left were lates. This way some of the existing staff who had primary aged DCs didn’t need childcare.
I came in, also with a child and had to have someone else pick them up, take them home and feed them 5 days a week. The others were very ‘I’m sorry for you but I’m alright Jack’ about it.
Obviously I objected but it took a change of manager who recognised the unfairness of the situation to insist on going back to the rolling rotation. I didn’t exactly win any popularity contests but it was quite a toxic environment anyway.

What a ridiculous situation. If they needed people to work permanent lates the job profile
should have specified that. If the OPs job needed her to work around someone else’s shifts they should have advertised it on that basis. I dare say there are people out there who want to work mainly earlies etc but it’s not the OP. If they’re expecting her to now work something different then of course she is going to push back. There’s no need for her to speak to the colleague or negotiate anything with her this is purely a conversation with the person who determines the rota

@Divebar2021 I’d almost forgotten how much it impacted us. I was a single parent at the time and my DC used to go to their dad’s every weekend so we rarely had any proper meals together. Couldn’t commit to after school activities or clubs, swimming lessons etc.

The ones who say you are spiteful are probably doing similar to your colleagues in their own lives.

It sounds really crap. I’ve been in the situation of working shifts and having to work around my husbands shifts also so I appreciate the stress it can cause finding childcare solutions. I think the OP is getting a hard time because posters feel sympathetic towards the colleague but employers need to be upfront about expectations.

With respect, your predecessor was either very accommodating or a pushover! Times change, you’re on the payroll now and your contracts states 2/2/2……your move to take this back to HR/rota manager and point out that your contract is not being met and needs to change. Use your voice, be firm, be polite, but don’t be a pushover!

The good news surely if that if she wants a particular shift, she’s not going to be working at the same time as you. So who cares what she thinks.

Just grey rock the whole situation, pretend you know nothing about her previous preferences, and query any rota anomalies (different from the contract) with the person who handles it.

People whinging on Mumsnet is pretty much Mumsnet's business model! OP has posted this in the Work section, not in AIBU. I'm not sure why you are posting on here if you seem to disapprove of the whole concept of posters coming on to Mumsnet to ask for advice and support.

Be prepared to fight or leave. If she is that influential and you push back she will
make things difficult for you. If all of this is true she either has management over a barrel or they are ineffective at it which is bad in the long run.

Personally I would see the first few rosters, and if they aren’t 2/2/2 look for another job and get out of there.

You aren't unreasonable to want to get the shifts in your contract.

But I don't think it's entitled for a colleague to request shifts to avoid needed childcare. Childcare is expensive and if you work differing shifts each week it's going to be very difficult as childcare isn't usually flexible. So maybe this colleague is a bit of an obnoxious person but completely understandable that she would want this.

Maybe your work need to look into a better way of managing.