Colleague "doesn't do paid childcare" how to deal with situation?

[Middlechild3]

New role, shift work, told it would be a 'fairly' stable pattern mostly a combination of 2/2/2 pattern per cycle, except when someone is on leave (and then less or no day shifts). Colleague has boasted about not having to pay for childcare ever despite both her and husband both working full time with shift work (different employers).This has been facilitated because she request shifts around her husbands roster unofficially and the person who does the roster gives them to her at the expense of her colleagues. This is going to mainly be me as we are opposing shifts. This means she will request say all late shifts meaning I would get stuck with all early shifts. This wasn't what I signed up to when I took the job but the emotional blackmail has started and I know she wants the arrangement she had with my predessor to continue. I really have no interest in her childcare woes and think she needs to get paid help in. She's been very lucky for so long but with new staff things will change and she must see this. How to deal with this diplomatically but firmly? to be clear this isn't an HR arrangement she has, she has just buttered up the man who does the roster over the years.

no different job

Well said.

So what if she is? So what if she’s on her 20th job in a year? What’s that got to do with her job wanting to work the shifts set out in her work contract?

Get lost @Noyoung - no- one cares.

Just say that won't work for me. But people are selfish and can be bullies. You will need to go over the roster guys head. But you won't be popular. But dont be a doormat.

Made yourself look a bit silly by not reading that in full the first time, didn’t you?

The first step would be speaking to your manager. Your colleague will need to sort her own flexible schedule with the manager too. It’s normal for parents to try to save money on childcare where they can.

Out of curiosity, wouldn’t you prefer the same shift? Better for multiple reasons including your health.

This job is going very well thankyou. Asking for advice on tackling an imminent issue is a wise move.

'Roster...' Are you in the US by any chance?

So personally before going to your Manager over this (certainly don’t involve HR - they won’t be interested in getting involved at this early stage!), I’d encourage you to have a discussion directly with your colleague.

Calmly explain you accepted the role based on the varying shift pattern and have organised your household responsibilities accordingly. Explain that you’re aware that previously the shift rotation has been more limited but that this doesn’t work for you and, as you are in your probation period in the new role, you aren’t prepared to adopt an operational working pattern that’s different to what’s set out in your contract.

Perhaps make a concession that you’re happy to review working arrangements again in (3/4/6) months time [whatever is appropriate based on probation period etc] but in the interim you’ll be sticking to the standard shift rota. It’s then up to you whether you actually do revisit the arrangements further down the line.

Then make sure to follow this conversation up with an email documenting what you’ve discussed and any agreement reached.

If she is difficult or unwilling to agree, then you can escalate to your manager as you’ll be able to demonstrate that you’ve tried yourself to reach a reasonable resolution and she is unwilling to cooperate.

Thanks all, some good advice here.

Are you actually not getting the shift pattern you were promised or are you anticipating it becoming a problem? I don't think you can complain beforehand but speak to your manager if you don't get a range of shifts in a month. Don't mention your colleague or what she has said.

This is terrible advice. This is a matter for management and HR.

No, all lates would mean no clubs/hobbies/ evening social life. All earlies would mean very early nights and tiredness etc. FOR ME a more or less equal spread of the assorted shifts works best to keep and plan normal out of work activities as much as possible.

Have you done that shift pattern previously? I ask as dh did it for a few years and it was a killer. No chance for your body clock to get into a rhythm. A regular, or longer stretch of either earlies, lates or nights was far preferable.

Submit a flexible working request ASAP.

@Middlechild3 First sit back and applaud this woman who has made a system that isnt meant to work for her work for her. There is a lesson there negotiate and strategise your way to what you want in life or die trying
Step 2: Learn from it. How could you get the system to work for you too.
Step 3: If you get it to work for you, great. Keep your secret or tell. If it doesnt, buy a thousand toilet roll, douse them in flammable liquid and burn the whole thing down. Or more sanely, start looking elsewhere.

Absolutely. And what is fair

Definitely not this. I would not be asking her permission.

You’ve been promised a certain shift set in your contract. If you don’t get them go to the person who does the rota and ask why you aren’t getting the shifts you were hired to do. Then escalate to HR/management. Talking to the colleague about this would make her think she has some kind of say over your shifts.

HR can explain to her why her shift rotation has changed- because they hired someone to do those shifts.

First sit back and applaud this woman who has made a system that isnt meant to work for her work for her.

Being a parent doesn't mean you off load all the shifts you don't want to do on to everyone else. I will not applaud her.

This comment is why it won't work out @Middlechild3

Your working life and rota will be shit.

Someone more established who has been skirting the rota system for who knows how long. I would ask her to show you her employment contract where it shows the schedule she has been working. Then you will consider it.

That's what you took from this?!?

@Middlechild3 is not the one doing the inconveniencing. That's not how 2/2/2 works.