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Original poster

Husband’s retirement card message from former colleague has left me uneasy

53 replies

Filmouse · 04/04/2026 16:13

My husband left his job after 40 years and one woman wrote in his card that my husband had done these special thing's for her and bought her gifts back from a trip once which she treasured. I warned him about her many year's ago as other wives at the company were also upset by her behaviour towards their husbands. She once blew cigarette smoke in my face when I was 6 months pregnant..I am upset with my husband to have continued a friendship with her...he isnt saying alot..am I right to feel really upset about this and to wonder what' has been really going on?

OP posts:
Pettifogg · 04/04/2026 16:16

Let it go. The woman is clearly a narcissist at best and a mean girl at worst.

FlapperFlamingo · 04/04/2026 16:18

Obviously it's very hard to know or say without more info. However, maybe she held more of a candle for him and nothing happened. She perhaps mentioned the gifts because she is still jealous (just a suggestion). He may have felt he had to bring her something (e.g. she asked "As you're going to X would you bring me [whatever]") so it was a gift - but something she requested and maybe your husband didn't want to bring anything for her but it felt churlish not to. Hope that makes sense! What's your husband said about her message? Were you able to discuss it with him?

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 16:26

Not a promising start to spending all day every day with him now he’s retired!

Fafner · 04/04/2026 16:29

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 16:26

Not a promising start to spending all day every day with him now he’s retired!

Well, the OP can at least prowl up and down around his armchair hissing ‘Claws off my Nigel’ at other women?

Hallywally · 04/04/2026 16:33

All the poor helpless men at the mercy of this vixen temptress! 🙄😂

SwanRivers · 04/04/2026 16:34

Pettifogg · 04/04/2026 16:16

Let it go. The woman is clearly a narcissist at best and a mean girl at worst.

Christ, 'clearly a narcissist' on that scan bit of information?

Lol

CallingOnTheMegaphone · 04/04/2026 16:35
let it go GIF

When exactly were you six months pregnant if your husband has been working for 40 years?!!

MrTiddlesTheCat · 04/04/2026 16:39

She certainly wants to be seen doesn't she.

Delphiniumandlupins · 04/04/2026 16:43

I think if several wives were concerned about her behaviour towards their husbands it's fairly unlikely she was carrying on an affair with yours.

ForMerryMauveDreamer · 04/04/2026 16:44

Attention seeker. She’s written it in the card to cause trouble, she would’ve known you’d read it. Like a PP said she may have asked for the gift and it may have been a tiny, innocuous thing that your husband thought nothing of.

IrishSelkie · 04/04/2026 16:56

am upset with my husband to have continued a friendship with her...he isnt saying alot..am I right to feel really upset about this and to wonder what' has been really going on?

No, you’re wrong to be upset. The cards passed around the office for retirement or maternity or a birthday or a condolences are signed by everyone, even the colleagues that hate your guts will sign them. The ones that hate you and want to to shit stir will write something just a bit boundary pushing to make you feel uncomfortable.

She is probably one of the shit stirrers.

20thCenturyFecks · 04/04/2026 16:58

She was a colleague. He was probably civil as he had to work with her. He's retired now and if this is history there's not much point in raking it up now is there.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 04/04/2026 17:04

I’ve always worked in offices and years ago in a sales environment and it was really common for the salesman to bring stuff back to the secretaries, bottles of booze or perfume from duty free or chocolates or something from the country they visited - most of these men were married and nobody batted an eye lid. We also got Christmas and birthday gifts too from them.
I really wouldn’t read too much into it,
especially if other wives were concerned sounds like she was a bit of a flirt! It was a bit un-necessary to write that in a card but If anything just makes her look like a bit of a twat!

Newswatch · 04/04/2026 17:12

CallingOnTheMegaphone · 04/04/2026 16:35

When exactly were you six months pregnant if your husband has been working for 40 years?!!

Came to say the same thing.

Op let it go.

LittleBearPad · 04/04/2026 17:14

What is the point of being upset? She won’t know or care.

Original poster
Filmouse · 04/04/2026 19:36

Yes he's worked there 40 years and worked with her all this time. I was pregnant 30 years ago that's when she did the smoke in my face just an awful thing to do to pregnant woman? Along with other questionable things over the years I just thought he would stay away from her considering what she had done and certainly not given her a gift or two....I appreciate all the comments tho .

OP posts:
PottingBench · 04/04/2026 19:43

"he isnt saying alot."

What is he saying?

rwalker · 04/04/2026 19:47

i doubt he’s been single out for special attention she’s like that with everyone

Fafner · 04/04/2026 19:48

Filmouse · 04/04/2026 19:36

Yes he's worked there 40 years and worked with her all this time. I was pregnant 30 years ago that's when she did the smoke in my face just an awful thing to do to pregnant woman? Along with other questionable things over the years I just thought he would stay away from her considering what she had done and certainly not given her a gift or two....I appreciate all the comments tho .

Like she marched up to you, took a drag on her fag and blew it directly into your face while saying ‘Something wrong, toots?’ Or she was smoking in your general vicinity and you thought didn’t angle her cigarette away enough ? I mean, it seems like a minor incident to have you bearing a grudge 30 years on…?

Original poster
Filmouse · 04/04/2026 19:54

A deliberately march up to my face and did it .. just trying to say knowing she did something so horrible amongst other stuff why did he continue a friendship with her buy gifts etc...he said he hadnt had anything do with her for a long time. Oh well ..

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 04/04/2026 20:03

Yeah it’s always some desperate female office stalker who victimises the poor innocent-as-a-lamb men isn’t it?

Except in all the years I’ve worked in offices, I have never seen a woman who behaved like this. And yet funnily I’ve seen lots of married men flirting with younger women and walking around with a swagger puffing themselves up. And always amusing to watch the personality change at the one Christmas do when wives were allowed…

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 20:06

Has she known him even longer than you then? They have been close colleagues for at least three decades!!

Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 20:08

Filmouse · 04/04/2026 19:54

A deliberately march up to my face and did it .. just trying to say knowing she did something so horrible amongst other stuff why did he continue a friendship with her buy gifts etc...he said he hadnt had anything do with her for a long time. Oh well ..

I can’t imagine how awful this retirement is going to be.
For you both!

Original poster
Filmouse · 04/04/2026 20:14

Interesting reading the comments we have been married 40 years I was so looking forward to our retirement together its really put a dampner on things .

OP posts:
Whatsnextforbea · 04/04/2026 20:15

He showed you the card? Or you came across it?