indirect discrimination against working mother

[SamSam786R]

Dear all,i am concerned that my employers are pushing me out of the business as working there has become impossible. as primary childcare provider for my children i require a certain amount of flexibility to work. the job i do is comms and can be done remotely. despite this i will go into the office three days a week. however, HR have told me that i must do certain days where childcare is impossible and so i am scrambling each week to find someone to watch my kids after school. they have said that this poilcy applies to all employees and NO exceptions can be made. my manager has told me that a job like mine is not suitable for working mothers and HR have stated that if i can not work around my children i need to go part time. in tandem i have now been put on an informal pip for a spelling error. since then, every mistake is emailed to me and my manager will message me on teams with all capital letters asking why i made these mistakes and that i can no longer make any mistakes at work. obviously, this along with the lack of flexibility or understanding has put me under immense stress - just today i cried in the toilet for one hour and had a minor panic attack. it might seem like a small thing, but these small aggressive remarks and confrontational emails have taken a huge toll on me. futhermore, my childless colleagues have been given leeway for working hours and days due to relocations. on top of that my HR person has stated that i am not attending the office for my full hours despite him coming in after me and leaving before every week. i am also one of the few people who come into an office regularly. they have also said i have baby brain on many occasions and compared me to my male colleagues. sorry for making this so long and rambly, there are so many other things that they have said and done to me, im so tired and would LOVE to resign but i need to pay my bills and the job market is awful right now. advice on: a: how to survive and b: how to escalate this with employment tribunal. thank you

YANBU OP, there is Employment Appeal Tribunal precedent on this point. The courts recognise that care for children falls disproportionally on women, so there is a clear group disadvantage at play here.

The precedent requres the courts to take "judicial notice' of this phenomenon (it was referred to as the Childcare Disparity by Lady Hale).

All the people piling in sayng this can't be discrimination, why do you do this? You clearly are not employment lawyers, so why come on a thread and confidently state your opinion, when you know you don't have the necessary qualifcations to do so?

Many businesses dislike the TWAT brigade (in the office Tues, Weds and Thurs) as they feel the other 2 days at home are not as productive. So I can see why they may be dictating a set 3 days for all.

However the baby brain, role not fit for a mother comments are wholly unacceptable so document, document document.

To echo pp, you need childcare regardless. There is zero argument you can find that would allow you to work a certain day from home due to the lack of it. It sounds like you have tried that and the company has said it won't allow it hence the offer of a reduction in hours instead.

You seem to be conflating 2 issues here, childcare and discrimination. There is nothing discriminating to expect paid childcare to be in place.

There does appear to be discrimitory comments being made, but it's hard to unpick from your posts exactly the problem.

Take a breath and reflect with some self awareness. How is your performance since returning to work? Have you been making mistakes as the kids are at home with you?

Apologies, link didn't work - here's a summary of the case

www.macdonaldoates.co.uk/employment/childcare-disparity-highlighted-by-employment-appeal-tribunal/

Op, please get advise from ACAS or an employment solicitor. If you have a case to go through a tribunal you will need hard evidence so the conversations your manager has had with you should be documented, by yourself and ideally with collaboration from others.

It seems HR are trying to find a solution. Does your contract stipulate 5 days a week in the office? If so it means that changing the days could have been anticipated i.e childcare should always have been for 5 days a week.

God just bore off. Of course it is.

Having no childcare in place is a concern to an employer. They quite rightly don’t want any parent looking after children when they should be working. OP, as you’ve only been given three weeks notice about a change in the WFH policy, that’s where you need to start. Explain that you had things in place (your husband) that worked around the WFH policy but due to the changes, you need some time to make alternative childcare arrangements. And then go and find some childcare. Not being allowed to pick up your children from school or be looking after them while you work isn’t discrimination. The comments about baby brain and the job not being suitable for a mother are unacceptable. These should be raised with HR.

Unnecessarily unkind comment. Especially considering your own typo and the misuse of ‘bearing’. You meant ‘obligation’, by the way, or perhaps ‘legal requirement’.

@SamSam786R I know it is an issue, but I would try to find a student or childminder who can help. I know this costs money but you would at least be able to keep your job whilst looking for an alternative.

I second the fact that on the face of what you say, they seem to be misusing the PIP process and implementing it unprofessionally. I would also speak to ACAS or ask for a conversation with HR.

The reality is that while WFH may work brilliantly for some employees and their employer, there are other cases where people take the piss. Where I work unfortunately there have been cases of people ‘wfh’ and being uncontactable when called etc. Or being measurably less productive when wfh. We even had one case where it transpired full childcare wasn’t in place, a parent nipping off to pick her kids up from school and then logging back on and being paid to work while simultaneously having care of two young children which is clearly not ok.

it’s entirely reasonable for an employer to want people on site. Provided they go through the correct processes contractually, they can expect people who are paid to do a job to be available to do it.

the baby brain comments and comparisons with others sound completely wrong. You need to go after them for the genuine issues where they’re in the wrong. Expecting you to do your job accurately and productively with childcare in place for all of your work hours is just normal! That’s what any employer should expect.

I’m sorry you are having a hard time and as others have said you can request flexibility but your employer doesn’t have to agree to it. Sorry if this sounds harsh, but your childcare issues are your problem not your employers. Whilst you feel you are being disadvantaged they are actually being fair in applying the same office policy to everyone and them saying if you cannot do the days asked then going part time might be better. As for being on a pip, are you regularly making errors, if so, could these be due to the stress of having the children at home and working (if indeed that is what you’re doing).
Having said all of that, the comment about baby brain is out of order.
I hope you get a resolution soon. I know by doing so it may seem in your eyes as though they’ve won, but I would jump ship as soon as I could.

Have you made a request for flexible working? Read the grievance policy and procedure and raise a grievance. Document everything pertinent, times dates etc. If you are in a union speak to your rep or contact ACAS.

Saying she has baby brain. Saying a job is not suitable for a working mother.

The specific days are not, though she could put in a formal request and they'd have to explain in writing why it can't be accommodated.

If you are contracted to work full time x-am to y-pm and be in the office 3 days a week then you can't automatically expect to be able to flex that just because you have children. You would need to put in a formal request (you don't say whether you've done this).
I also agree with pp that you should have childcare in place when you are working regardless of whether that's office or at home.

The issue with the pip etc is separate imo and not acceptable. I have experienced similar from a previous manager over things like the occasional minor typo and it absolutely destroyed my confidence so I feel for you. I made an informal complaint at the time; it was suggested to me that it could be construed as bullying and did I want to raise a formal grievance. At the time I didn't consider it to be bullying but looking back it 100% was.
I would make a record of everything (including the teams messages) and consider raising a grievance.

This sounds more like bullying and harrassment. Keep those emails and get ACAS involved.

You make some very valid points (but please use paragraphs),

Personally, I would list everything clearly and get legal advice from the correct authority as soon as possible.

Their motive is to bully you and watch you crack because there are no consequences for them.

Being "a working mother" is not a protected characteristic, so on that basis there is no discrimination.

The baby brain comment seems unacceptable and maybe there’s sexism going on.

But OP doesn’t look very professional tbh, not great spelling (even after being placed on a PiP at work and ppl commenting here, she still doesn’t bother, her standards are still low for someone who works in comms), thinking that wfh means free childcare …

Totally agree!

Definitely sounds like bullying or harassment.

I'm not an expert by any means but I have conducted HR investigations into bullying and harassment in a previous role.

Discrimination and harassment has to be based on a protected characteristic. Being a parent isn't a protected characteristic (only pregnancy and maternity are).

The 'baby brain' comment, whilst completely sexist and unacceptable, I don't think would constitute discrimination on its own. It would definitely be evidence towards a bullying case however.

Not allowing flexibility on WFH days also wouldn't if everyone is subject to the same policy. Having to arrange childcare is your problem, not your employers. I can't see any discrimination based on a protected characteristic here.

I think your strongest case is for bullying which doesn't require it to be linked to a protected characteristic. I would reiterate the advice to make sure you keep all evidence of communications with your manager and consider raising a grievance.

I second this, I actually connected with Working Families through their website and sent a webform request for some advice re flexible working. They were brilliant and helped justify why what they were saying was discrimination. Give them a couple of weeks to respond.

A few points op:

-Keep a log of all the issues, dates, and any evidence. This really helped me when i was bullied by a manager. And they weren’t expecting it

-Do talk to ACAS for advice. And union.

-The comments about baby brain etc and are absolutely discrimination and should be reported. Get advice on acas first about how to do this.

-I don’t think you have a leg to stand on tbh until you have at least submitted a flexible working request. But also be aware they can reject it.

-You should not be doing any childcare while working from home.

-HR may have a point about going part time. Unfortunately it can be the reality for many working parents. One of my kids is primary school age, and i have gone part time to finish work at 3pm so i can pick him up, not to just dash off for the school run and attempt to work while i look after him

-Do they have a point about your performance? Are you making lots of mistakes and not working your full hours?

-The ‘long weekend’ comment sounds like lots of colleagues were dossing on Fridays when wfh.

-I worked in comms before. Making lots of mistakes only means other people and approvers have to pick up the corrections. And also we had a rule where someone from the team would be in the office each day.

I think telling you that the job wasn’t suitable for working mothers is wrong but you are the one being sexist.
Both you and your husband are working full time. Within your relationship you should not be the ‘primary carer’. Both you and your husband should take equal responsibility for your children.
Maybe the shift to working more in the office is because people were working and looking after children at the same time. It doesn’t work for either the job or your children.

When I sought advice from Working Families, they pinned it down to discrimination against women because childcare responsibilities disproportionately affect women more than men in the workplace and this falls under the equality act. Everyone has the right to ask for flexible working and every request must be reviewed properly, a blanket ‘no’ doesn’t suffice in those instances.

Yes, it sounds like they’re trying to make your life more difficult to get you to leave. Very short sighted of them IMO.

Speak to a specialist employment lawyer.

It sees to me that they are skating very close to the wind.

Document EVERYTHING.

Be reasonable and polite at all times.

Ask for clarification on everything.

If you are told something verbally, put it in email to clarify.

Call ACAS.

Get your union involved if you have one.

apologies I should have added that- my kids after school club was suddenly cancelled this week and so I asked for a temp solution where I changed office days so my DH could do childcare as he can do a specific day, they refused this and that is why I am stressed, it is quite a last min emergency having regular childcare cancelled and I needed some respite to work out a long term plan, but they are unwilling to help and have said to go part time instead, my offered solution does not mean I’d do the school pickup