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To think I keep quiet about seeing a manager and one of his team having a cuddle?

18 replies

cantbejustme · 03/12/2025 20:42

It’s looked like manager and staff member have been doing something for some time (e.g disappear off separate but together, texting accross a desk, conveniently timed work outings etc). I try not to sit near them as it’s fairly obvious anmd feels incredibly anwkward so i sit with other people elsewhere in the office. No one has raised this but it’s like one of those things that people just know.

Was having a chat with someone while stood on one side of one of those doors with the glass panels in- turned- saw manager and staff member cuddling in corridor through the door. Finished conversation, walked through door to toilet to the most stilted conversation between manager and staff member about what their work plans for the day were.

Come out of toilet, staff member hanging sheepishly round my desk (she doesn’t really bother with me), makes some conversation disappears off. Then it was mine and managers 1:1 - his hands were physically shaking and he was bright red at the beginning. Made some nonsense conversation about family and work 1:1 done.

Just for the record this workplace is what you’d describe as toxic. Hybrid- this manager has no other managers present to keep him in check. Both people are married.manager tries to befriend staff- phones/ messages on weekend et
c. one of staff members is friends with his sister in law. Staff member in question has significantly more manageable workload than anyone else on the team.

Its just all so icky.

I just keep quiet dont i? And either watch it all unfold or apply for other jobs and get out?

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 03/12/2025 20:46

It sounds like you’re planning to get out in any case so I would focus on that.

Eestar · 03/12/2025 20:49

Yes, keep quiet as it will (unfairly) harm you and your job if you get involved in any way. TRUST ME. Keep your head down, look for your next move, and get out with the good reference that you likely deserve.

Puffins4eva · 03/12/2025 20:53

Don't say a word

WalterMittysPuppet · 03/12/2025 21:01

Ha reminds me of somewhere I worked where a junior staff member would be in the directors office for ages massaging his shoulders. I was a manager and often had to breeze in there and pretend the whole thing was as benign as her being in there doing some filing (not a euphemism). He smirked arrogantly and she was wide-eyed innocence.

Nobody ever said anything about it out loud. Some of my team might have exchanged glances occasionally, but not one word was said. I left after 2 years, not because of that specifically but because of the whole toxic, bullying, mercurial culture. I'm still salty about it 12 years later.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 03/12/2025 21:05

You might be able to negotiate a pay raise fairly easily though?

cantbejustme · 03/12/2025 22:37

WalterMittysPuppet · 03/12/2025 21:01

Ha reminds me of somewhere I worked where a junior staff member would be in the directors office for ages massaging his shoulders. I was a manager and often had to breeze in there and pretend the whole thing was as benign as her being in there doing some filing (not a euphemism). He smirked arrogantly and she was wide-eyed innocence.

Nobody ever said anything about it out loud. Some of my team might have exchanged glances occasionally, but not one word was said. I left after 2 years, not because of that specifically but because of the whole toxic, bullying, mercurial culture. I'm still salty about it 12 years later.

Yah it changes you as a person working somewhere like that doesnt it.

OP posts:
cantbejustme · 03/12/2025 22:38

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 03/12/2025 21:05

You might be able to negotiate a pay raise fairly easily though?

Hmmmm public sector so doubtful. Might get some cushty work though without even saying a word 👌

OP posts:
Cerezo · 05/12/2025 06:39

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

LossOfMarbles · 05/12/2025 06:44

Don’t say a word, either to colleagues, the manager or the fling.

Georgiepud · 05/12/2025 06:51

Don't say anything, but you could manage a disapproving look if you catch them in any way at it.

Pootles34 · 05/12/2025 07:11

Sounds like your work load is about to get lighter!

cantbejustme · 06/12/2025 09:46

Pootles34 · 05/12/2025 07:11

Sounds like your work load is about to get lighter!

I sure do hope I’ll be having a lovely old time there.

I spent 2 hours of work time applying for another job yesterday……

Wondering what I can get away with in upcoming months.

Im not very good with secrets. If it was just this it would be fine but there’s lots of other things. It’s also nice to have if affirmed as there is a lot of lying/ bullying etc that goes on here to the point that you question your experience. This has affirmed that what ive thought is going on is actually going on….
food to know I am not in fact going mad.

OP posts:
iSage · 06/12/2025 09:49

Don't get involved!

Warmlight1 · 11/02/2026 08:26

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 03/12/2025 21:05

You might be able to negotiate a pay raise fairly easily though?

Somehow I feel that wouldn't end well.

Warmlight1 · 11/02/2026 08:26

Whatever you do be very careful.

rwalker · 11/02/2026 08:29

In the big scheme of things does it really affect you
and what would saying something achieve my guess nothing

Couronne · 11/02/2026 08:30

Cerezo · 05/12/2025 06:39

Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Yes, I don’t see why this would be any of your business, unless it was actually impacting your performance or the way you were managed. I mean, who would you say something to?

Ohcrap082024 · 11/02/2026 08:36

Say nothing. Do nothing.

No one will thank you for outing them. Not his wife, nor her husband. The messenger always gets the shitty end of the stick.

If the two people were married to one of your family members or a good friend, that would be different. But they are not.

Ignore it.

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