How do I girl boss?

[AmzMcl]

Hello! I'm 32 and in a corporate job where I manage a bunch of teenagers. I wonder if this is how all management roles feel? It drains me and makes me have little social battery left for my family and friends. I honestly don't want to speak to anyone after most days in work. I don't know if this is "the price to pay" or is this normal to be drained at this level ... and when I progress will it be better?

Wtf is 'girl boss'. You are a grown woman.

Cringing at this 2005 term

Sorry my caption has annoyed you? I just wanted to know if females in management roles struggle with the same issues I am experiencing. If you don't like the tag line then you don't need to respond

Managing people is hard. Doubly so when you've clearly internalised misogyny. It's just 'boss'. Unless you call other managers 'boy boss'. Actually I might start doing that.

Seriously, women manage millions of people. You've doing youself a terrible disservice.

And it's women not females. Another dehumanising word.

I'm not sure why everyone is taking offence to the tag line or why it's so serious. If you read my comment, I just wanted to know how girls deal with managing in a corporate space. It's not that deep, please there is no need to comment if it's to slag my tag line.

What a strange thread

Do you also refer to the women in your team as girls? I'd be totally offended if I was called a girl at work - that might be a part of your problem and making things harder for you.

And ditto really if I was being referred to as part of a bunch of teenagers. Perhaps they're not feeling respected?

Again, it's just a phrase. I don't see why there is a need to comment on the tag line. I appreciate its offended people, and I'm sorry for that, but it was just input in jest. Calling people "gals" or "girls" is not sexist, it's just a tagline. I wanted to know if the girlies/females/women experience the same as me and how they deal with it. Didn't realise every comment would focus on "girl boss". It's just a phrase that Iv used, it's not what Iv asked for advice on.

Girlies 😬 is stop op.

Your problem is probably your wording.

I'm a millennial boss and wouldn't refer to my team in any way you have.

My team support and look after me, as I do them. It's a two way street, mainly on my side, and I would never dare deek diminish them by calling them 'girls' or 'girlies'. I think they'd have me fired on the spot.

Maybe you need to treat them with more respect.

Its in the subject its not a "tag line". A tag line is a slogan. This is the oddest thread and I am starting to see why you struggle at work. Do you manage a fast food enterprise perhaps?

I obviously treat them with respect.. iv called them teenagers on here because that's how I feel the role is. I have referred to them on here as teenagers because I'm quite literally asking if anyone else feels like they are managing teenagers ? Is it normal to feel like you are managing teenagers? Is it normal to feel totally drained? But nobody is answering my genuine question and focused on the tag line saying "girl boss" ... which is just an expression. Sorry it's annoyed yous.

You are just arguing over me using the term tag line vs subject... it really doesn't matter what term I use. Iv apologised for offending anyone with the girl boss comment. I am genuinely asking if it's normal to feel super drained in a management role. Please, there is no need to comment if it's to slag.

No it's not normal to feel totally drained every day if you're in a management role. You may sometimes feel drained after a difficult stressful day but you certainly should not be feeling you can't give of yourself to family and friends. You should be feeling confident and capable.

But the use of words like girl boss and girlies is really weird, no one I know in a management role would ever in a million years use words like that in the workplace or out of it.

Thinking of your team as teenagers and calling yourself a “girl boss” agreed is v distracting from what I think you were trying to ask about

I don’t feel drained - is there too much “school drama” happening? Perhaps drop the rope on this - your role is to manage / guide / enable not get stuck in “teenage” drama - you are not their mum

If people are not acting professionally in the workplace you can performance manage that behaviour

Thank you for your input. I would use the terms "girlies, gals, etc" with my friends so thought I could do the same on here. Iv only rejoined mumsnet yesterday and Iv learned my lesson to not do so and apologised to the wider audience.

Agree. And actually it's not obvious you respect them because of your choice of language in describing your issue. It's making me wonder if that comes across in your day to day comms. If so, the reaction you get from your team may be related to how draining you're finding it.

Thanks for your comment.. I recognise that I shouldn't use terms "off the cuff" like that. I certainly wasn't meaning to call myself girl boss, I just know the phrase and used it for the tagline / subject to capture women in management. Iv heavily learned that what Iv said was not ok. I do feel like I'm drowning daily and that I have no social battery left. I just wondered if it's normal and as you have explained, it's not.

i thought my choice of language was discussed in a safe space. I understand now that the girl boss wording wasn't right but when I described my team as teenagers, that's how I feel day to day. I have staff going offline for hours and come back saying they fell asleep. It does feel like they are teenagers and I don't think that reflects on my management. It's how I feel. I work in a company with thousands of employees, so people can go under the radar.

Wtf is a girl boss? It's just boss. Actually, no one says boss either. You aren't there to boss people about. Do you mean you are a line manager?

You need to reframe your entire role. To yourself. Otherwise people will take the piss behind your back and say ' wow you are such a great girl boss!' Here's a tip. They think you are a fucking idiot and almost certainly got the position through shagging someone senior to you. Or your dad owns the company.

Treat the team as a team of professional people, explain what is required, delegate and let them get on with it. Review work, etc. It doesn't matter what sex you are.

Then what you need is to manage them. If you need guidance, ask for it and look it up online.

Ask your absent team members what's wrong, is it anything you can help with. Clarify objectives, responsibilities and expectations. Pull them up when they're falling short, implement proper critical procedures.

If they're young, think back to the greatest managers you had at that age. Analyse how they taught you to know your job, do it well and take pride in it. Maybe even ask them if you can still contact them.

I agree that the words you've used here come across as frivolous. If this is a clue to your working style, it explains why you're an ineffective manager. You are an actual boss now, not a 'girl' or their mummy.

Please, read my responses to the other comments.

While I absolutely agree with PPs about 'girl boss' etc, that aside, you may find a bit of time on this management blog helpful

https://www.askamanager.org/.

Well, of they don't do the work to deadlines and fuck you about, go and see HR and give them a verbal warning.

If they are doing the work, does it matter if they are offline when you look? And they aren't asleep. They are fucking about.

Have a team call, tell them to sort themselves out, give daily deadlines. If they don't meet them, explain you feel the need to ask HR to assist with a training plan for them.

Follow through. Keep notes. Have 1:1s where its very professional, and you let them talk about themselves and their issues. Help them be better. Goals.

Do the same with your manager, only you ask for help in productivity and motivation for your team.