Someone reassure me there is life after this

[Thelaughingtonepoliceman]

I'm early 50s, in a job which for years I enjoyed but now I hate so much its starting to make me unwell.

The reason it's got worse is: a) it's a founder-led business but the founders sold out but are still locked in for a while, have clearly lost interest so are barely involved to support others and resent having to do any work but bully and blame people when things go wrong and b) our industry is in a horrendous state and winning new clients is incredibly difficult so holding onto clients is the only real impetus so we're forced to do things which are humiliating to hold onto them. It makes for an atmosphere which is paranoid, backstabby and horrendous hours.

I desperately desperately want to get out but can't get out. I've applied for nearly 50 roles in the past six month and got virtually nothing: three responses to my applications and one interview, not progressed beyond those initial stages.

I'm very senior (partner level), degree educated, have 30 years of employment behind me in two careers and have been with my company for 10 years. I've AI-ed up my CV. I've worked my network into the ground and found nothing. I realise I'm probably too old but on paper apart from my age should be fairly employable.

Reducing hours or going part time isn't an option, financially, unless I do something really drastic (sell my house) so I'm stuck with this until I can either find a job or get made redundant. My partner works but earns a lot less than me so he can't take the brunt of this.

I'm also not one of these people who's dying to retire. I love working, I want to work until I die. I'm angry and scared and utterly drained working in an environment where my skills are worth so little and working for people who treat me like shit is doing a real number on my health but I'm apparently now stuck until I get fired or retire.

I know I'm stuck in a bit of a doom loop at the moment and presumably eventually something will come up but at the moment I can't see it. Can anyone out there reassure me that this isn't it for the rest of my life?

But your job by your own admission is starting to make you unwell. That is burnout and a key thing is that you feel you can’t possibly stop or things will collapse/you’ll be managed out etc. Better to head it off now and take a bit of breathing space otherwise you run the risk of a proper mental health crisis. They can’t stop you taking sick leave and they can’t sack you if you’re unwell.

Would love to know what industry you’re in where it’s acceptable to be shouted at. It’s totally in acceptable in any setting. You’re being browbeaten.

A better option than taking pension early might be to release equity from your home for a few years before you move. Or even get a loan from the bank or second mortgage.
You would have to do all the sums on a spreadsheet to look at your best options.

What industry are you in? People might have more useful advice if you give even a vague idea of the industry.

In general, just wanted to add some words of support and to say yes it can and will get better.

I am also senior level in my field. I’ve been out of work for 9 months now and finally got a new job last week. For the past 9 months I spent all day and all evening writing job applications, hundreds of them, getting very little back. Jobs I was perfect for passed me up. Jobs I was over skilled for rejected me for being too good. Had a few interviews but someone else was the one each time. With the job I got, it just clicked, I was the right person. Your right job will come up eventually, have faith that it will and keep applying.

By way of advice I’d say don’t use AI for your CV, it really flattens it. Make it more “you”. Think about if you were recruiting for your dream job, what would you be looking for on a CV - do that to your’s. Think about it less as what you want to tell people and more what do they need to see.

Above all else, don’t lose hope. Believe in yourself - you’ve got this far so you must be great!

I end up having to sell up in the middle of my DD's GCSE's

That won't happen. Get a loan or second mortgage BEFORE you are made redundant, as it will be hard to get one afterwards.
Look into exactly what you would get for redundancy as a statutory minimum (and check it applies to your status as a partner).
Get a spreadsheet going, and plan for some worst-case scenarios over the next four years. Then you will know where you stand.

fhey can’t fire you for taking a couple of weeks off sick to help you recover from stress so take a break if it’s essential

“And I really don't think that this idea that all women in their 50s are menopausal mayhem goblins does us any favours.”

damn right. All this menopause stuff is really pissing me off.

It’s interesting seeing your responses to others. I feel you definitely see a lot of blockers, certainly more than you see opportunity. If you have a skill, an expert skill, and you are only c50, for many industries that is peak top of your game territory. So I would be asking recruiters themselves what you need to do differently or find some different tack. Have you got the right networks in place? Or have you relied on getting in in this company (where you’ve been for a long time but don’t have a stake)
Working all weekend is not normal in any industry (and I work with lawyers), unless you’re paid an absolute tonne (think Linklaters, senior equity, £5mln p.a) and /or you have allowed it to become normalised. Personally I would question what to push back on, or push down, or how you can get things prioritised so you know what you can drop. I would suggest some passive noncompliance as a general coping mechanism. You’ve pretty much decided you can’t move for various reasons and despite your best efforts, so you need to learn to sit with the shltstorm and treat it all as neutral events occurring rather than crises that chew you up.
Certainly being politically skilled is not your bag if you’re senior management but have no voice. And that will inhibit your effective management of your working hours /practices. Which you do need to do, if not just so you have a breather.
in the meantime, as a senior person how can you be more than just a cog in the wheel, help others to feel more useful etc in such a way that maybe you derive more enjoyment from the role, despite all the rubbish going on

Just wanted to cheer you on, OP. In also in my 50s, also very much wanting to move on from a toxic workplace, also senior and the breadwinner. Also not getting anywhere, after looking for more than a year. Its the first time I've not just decided to move and then moved. I'm sure its a whole combo of fewer senior roles / a ranking market / ageism / menopausal mayhem goblins (love it). Plus possibly, distance from the stench - if your organisation is known to be encountering difficulties there's a bit of stigma there too. No solutions just solidarity in the trenches, although your trench sounds worse than mine. And hope that, as a PP has said, the right fit role will come along before our confidence is entirely shattered.