Walking back into a ****storm tomorrow

[ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay]

I've been away on holiday for a week, back in the office tomorrow. There was a bit of a crisis happening before I went so I wrapped up as much as I could and did a decent handover. It's all blown up, my boss (CEO) has been sending furious emails and I've spent the week keeping a face on for DH and the DC while lying awake for hours at night thinking about it. My team have handled it like troopers but have also been messaging me and have set up a meeting first thing tomorrow before CEO gets in so I'm not blindsided, bless their thoughtfulness.

I'm going in extra early to clear my desk before my team get in, in case I'm getting fired. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together TBH. I've told DH that it's bad, but not how bad. He just said it's a bank holiday, don't worry about it until tomorrow. I'm tired, my holiday was ruined and I just want to go in and get it over with.

I cannot offer any advice but sending you my support.

Write out the statement of what you want/need to say - or get him to understand

And repeat the message

Wishing you luck

Sorry, seeing an employee so late in the day does not bode well normally

Good luck OP

@Lavender14

But this is also unhelpful because if people are prepared to accept it and follow along meekly and not challenge it then it perpetuates the culture and it continues to happen and it never gets better.

I completely agree, poor management should be challenged and employees do need to assert boundaries.

It just irritates me when people tip up on here saying: "turn your laptop off and don't respond" or "you shouldn't be checking emails on holiday" or "life's too short", as if its that black and white.

These comments are invariably made by people in jobs which are either in large bureaucratic organisations where there are armies of other people who can pick up in their absence or people with part time jobs for whom the money isn't mission critical because someone else in the household is bringing in more of the bacon. Not all of us have that luxury.

I'm a lone parent. I'm the sole income for my family. Its essential that I do not burn out so you'd better believe I assert my boundaries well before that point in order to protect myself. It's not easy and I've spent time sticking it out in highly toxic cultures while working towards securing another post but you need to find ways to maintain professional boundaries.

I agree with this as well. I'm also a lone parent. But as the OP pointed out, stressful jobs can be shit, but not having money to put food on the table or buy clothes for your children is much more shit.

I don't disagree with any of the fundamental points being made here: the OP has been treated badly, it's poor management and it's all a bit of a shit-show. And to be clear I don't think people should put up with anything just to keep their jobs.

But I just wish people would think before tapping out this "life's too short" cliche. It's not that simple for many of us.

That’s a hideous amount of time to leave you hanging

Good luck OP. Rooting for you. Hopefully this will pass over and in a few weeks will just be a bad memory.

Good luck OP, rooting for you. X

In this case 'life is too short' doesn't have to mean to jump shit tomorrow, but plan a careful exit without being unemployed. Not likely if so high up, but in some jobs a lateral change to elsewhere in the company might help too and then it depends on what opportunities become available and when.

I live alone so 'life is too short' isn't an option because nobody else will pay my bills and I will put up with a lot before risking loosing my home. It's a ridiculous advice indeed. It's best to learn boundaries, foresee that something might not work out for another few years and then navigate that. Obviously that came unexpected in this case, but say the OP survives today then I would indeed screen the market for other opportunities with an aim to be out in 6-12 months as opposed to resigning tomorrow.

But at the same time, if she was going to be sacked, the CEO and.or HR would have met her in the morning before she had access to her team.

Either way, there is mostly likely going to be an investigation, so if the company was going down the path of blaming the OP, they would have asked her not to return to work.

That's really rotten, OP. Hopefully the CEO will have calmed down and will understand you did the best you could with the information you had. And if this call was so important he should have handled it during his own leave rather than ruining yours with his attitude.

I think the CEO has been through the mill, had a roasting the buck does stop with him in this case.

I'd be getting advice from ACAS. If things go pear shaped.

Really feel for you OP, I understand this fear and hope the CEO can speak calmly and you can come up with a plan.

Theres a lot of assumptions on this thread about it not being the OP’s responsibility, and its down to poor processes etc. What if the OP is a member of senior management or head of compliance, or process owner, what then?

Sometimes people in these positions can make the wrong call too especially there’s a lack of information. Sometimes it’s not so easy to pass the buck and regardless the senior management/ board will still ask why it wasn’t known about before. It’s not as easy as ‘someone else’s fault’,

I have no advice but good luck. X

No, the might have gotten legal advice, put together a package etc. Things do take time. People get sacked first thing in the morning or late in the afternoon.

Good luck OP - hope it goes well

This!!!

I really feel for you. I’m stuck financially in the same situation x

Good luck, OP x

Good luck!

Remember, everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

Good luck OP, we are all wishing you well. Just remember that you did what you could with the best knowledge you had at the time. Good luck 🤞

All the best, OP.

Hopefully, you are able to take all our encouragement with you.

If this is any help, when you go in to see the CEO, project confidence. If you need to go practice in the mirror, please do that. I have found that it helps me articulate better when i feel confident. And my confidence instils confidence about me in the other person/team.
Don't be apologetic or personally claim ALL the responsibility for the shit that has gone down.
If asked what happened, be precise and outline the situation and your actions due to that.

Also, outline all the steps you have taken today to rectify/damage limitation the situation. If you can femeber or have time to look it up, quote company policies to support your actions or procedure followed.

Here's fingers crossed that it all turns out okay for you.

Good luck. Stay calm .... .

You can only work with the information you have.
CEO dropped the ball & is looking for a scapegoat.
Dont let him shift the load, It sounds like its a system failure, not your personal responsability.
He is in charge. & wants to save his skin
Leaving you to stew is a deliberate tactic, so Breath, Stand tall.

This is true. I had a boss who was deliberately late for meetings to try to rattle people.