Walking back into a ****storm tomorrow

[ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay]

I've been away on holiday for a week, back in the office tomorrow. There was a bit of a crisis happening before I went so I wrapped up as much as I could and did a decent handover. It's all blown up, my boss (CEO) has been sending furious emails and I've spent the week keeping a face on for DH and the DC while lying awake for hours at night thinking about it. My team have handled it like troopers but have also been messaging me and have set up a meeting first thing tomorrow before CEO gets in so I'm not blindsided, bless their thoughtfulness.

I'm going in extra early to clear my desk before my team get in, in case I'm getting fired. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together TBH. I've told DH that it's bad, but not how bad. He just said it's a bank holiday, don't worry about it until tomorrow. I'm tired, my holiday was ruined and I just want to go in and get it over with.

I have to say, if the CEO thought it was really that serious, he would have been in and waiting for you first thing this morning. Hopefully, this is a good sign that he's not quite so furious as his first emails sounded. That said, he should never have sent them at all in that situation.

This.

Im really pissed if on your behalf. How dare your ceo send ranting emails not one but numerous, while you’re on holiday. It’s very unprofessional. If the decision you made turns out to have been wrong then the system by which the information or data is collected in order to decide doesn’t work.

I’m a great believer in the premise that if something goes wrong, the systems aren’t in place to allow a person to do their job well or checks are in place to pick up on human error.

Not necessarily because the CEO may have had to prioritise meetings with Board, investors, partners, regulators. Sorry to be negative but the CEO will be in at least as much shit as the OP and will have to clear his decks first.

@ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay

Re the gap analysis you are performing, are you able to pin point and explain how and why those gaps arose? Lack of compliance is something that should be avoided with multiple safety nets - were those in place? Without naming or shaming or pointing fingers are you able to speak around why those gaps arose, why it was previously went wrong and what you suggest to prevent this happening again.

I think the focus of your suggestions should be on correction / resolution but you do need to explain how the mistakes happened.

I am rooting for you. Wishing you all the best.

I still think if it was going to be a formal process, there would be an appointment in both diaries. Also, if the CEO really is firefighting and the issue is OP's actions, wouldn't it make sense to speak to her to get her side of the story before going back to them?? Makes no sense but this CEO doesn't sound sensible.

Well OP would you panic as much about your job and role in this mess if you were a man? I know it won't help as all these men will hold you to a higher standard regardless and not see the double standards here. If you are lucky, I don't know how, there will be an opportunity to make someone else the fall guy. Because that's all it would be: someone might have to be the scapegoat at which point it would no longer be about you and your skills. You'd merely be a causualty.

Honestly, I know that you said that you needed to stay in this role for two years but maybe talk to your DH and see if there is anyway to downsize so you can leave now.

I let myself burnout so hard on work that I spent two months struggling to get out of bed, the recovery was so hard. Don't be me and get out while your health is still intact. Its not worth it!

Exactly. He won't be having a nice lie-in.

This - when im stressed about work, i often think what would a man do! Because 9 times out of 10, the men i know would wing it somehow and certainly not blame themselves so much. It's sad but true.

First of all it depends on the sickness policy, so I would milk that and secondly, it's best to let herself get fired for the payout. Talking as someone who's been there too.

That is a good point. I'm not in the UK so things work differently here.

Yeah, either it's serious enough that the CEO should have been in first thing (or more likely, over the weekend), or it's not serious enough to have ruined the OP's holiday for.

Can't have it both ways.

What piss poor management.

The CEO isnt in yet????

Cant be that serious then hopefully! Or hes just shit

I'm in the UK too. My old job paid the full salary for six months of sickness.

It doesn't sound like all the responsibility of this falls onto your shoulders. You made the correct decision with the information available at the time. Was it possible to have got the new information sooner? Was that an over sight? Or did things change?

Either way as others have said I think I would also get out. I worked somewhere that absolutely destroyed me, and not even for the money, out of some misguided loyalty. I would never do it again

Really sorry if this has been covered already, but what field/sector is this?

I'm struggling to understand what could be so damaging within an organisation that enabled to OP to make a decision that she's being blamed for? If this was so vital, then why was it left in her hands? Surely it's the CEO's fault?

But equally, he may be having such meetings and then have to have another set of meetings once he has met with OP face to face. Not a great use of his time really. But then, doesn't sound like a logical person anyway.

still don’t rate him. I work for a decent sized global company. The senior leadership team would all know the ceo was talking to the clients or whoever, because he’d have told them. But he would never have been uncontactable on holiday, nor would any of the senior team, and when it was they’d be supportively guiding the fact finding not giving out bollockings. That’s what a good firm looks like.

Hand hold from me… nothing worse than waiting on your fate. Hope it all turns out ok,and maybe you can get out of this place soon. Fingers crossed from me💐

You talk about non conformance, so I'm assuming this will be CAPA reported, in which case I believe the mantra is "its the process, not the people". Would anyone else have made the same error in the same circumstances and how can it be prevented. More useful longterm than a witch hunt

Op please listen to this, life’s to short.

But meanwhile I hope everything calms down.

But this is also unhelpful because if people are prepared to accept it and follow along meekly and not challenge it then it perpetuates the culture and it continues to happen and it never gets better.

I work in a role where I'm regularly "on call" and have to make critical incident judgements off the bat on my own which directly impact others safety. When I'm on leave you better believe I'm on leave. I need that rest and downtime because my job is stressful and intense the rest of the time and burnout is a very real thing. Your points about how difficult it can be to deal with or to extricate yourself from are valid but if you reach burnout then you quite simply won't have a choice because you may not be able to physically leave your bed and will end up on long term sick anyway. Far too many people underestimate burnout and how long it can take to recover from.

I'm a lone parent. I'm the sole income for my family. Its essential that I do not burn out so you'd better believe I assert my boundaries well before that point in order to protect myself. It's not easy and I've spent time sticking it out in highly toxic cultures while working towards securing another post but you need to find ways to maintain professional boundaries.

Absolutely all of this. People, and in particular women, do not challenge what should be challenged in the workplace. And those in leadership often play on this to get away with things they shouldn't.

Apparently the CEO will see me at 4. Long afternoon ahead.

Not that it’s much practical help, but we’re all behind you!

Hold your head up high.