Walking back into a ****storm tomorrow

[ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay]

I've been away on holiday for a week, back in the office tomorrow. There was a bit of a crisis happening before I went so I wrapped up as much as I could and did a decent handover. It's all blown up, my boss (CEO) has been sending furious emails and I've spent the week keeping a face on for DH and the DC while lying awake for hours at night thinking about it. My team have handled it like troopers but have also been messaging me and have set up a meeting first thing tomorrow before CEO gets in so I'm not blindsided, bless their thoughtfulness.

I'm going in extra early to clear my desk before my team get in, in case I'm getting fired. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together TBH. I've told DH that it's bad, but not how bad. He just said it's a bank holiday, don't worry about it until tomorrow. I'm tired, my holiday was ruined and I just want to go in and get it over with.

Good luck OP

Wishing you the best of luck.
If there are process/systematic issues/lack of investment you need to speak up.
Don't take the blame, have a plan on how to sort it out.
Go in strong, you have worked hard to get here.

I'm not head of all of compliance (we don't have that role) but head of the department that deals with this sort of thing. This has exposed a knowledge gap in less than ideal circumstances. We're not a huge company but larger than an SME.

The decision I made was to meet a regulatory deadline rather than spend any more time investigating and miss the deadline. The golden rule that gets rammed down all our throats during regulator training is if in doubt, report. You can always send a follow-up report afterwards when you have full information but regulators look dimly on late reports because it smacks of complacency or cover-up, so I stand by the decision. The new information is that we should have used a different process, which we're preparing to do now.

Wishing you all the best OP, I cant imagine the worry and stress you are under right now. It sounds like you have followed your training and protocols and done what you could given the information you had. It might be that they try to get you to leave to use you as a scapegoat so try to stay calm if so and get proper legal advice before agreeing to anything (im sure you would anyway). Really rooting for you!

You seem assertive. Make your case strongly, calmly and with measured persistence.

I wish you best of luck.
I’ve spent the last ten years or so in the same situation in that I have decided I’d rather worry about work than about how to feed my kids and pay my mortgage/rent. It’s a hard decision but I know what kind of worry is worse.
I also work in compliancy and it’s ever so stressful.

Then when you meet with the CEO this afternoon OP, just remember you made the best decision you could with the information you had available at the time (and hindsight is a wonderful thing!)

Best of luck OP.

I work in financial services and have seen a few situations that chime with what you've outlined here. They tend to blow over. Internally it feels like the end of the wolrd but from the outside - including at regulators - they tend to see the human side of it. Mistakes are made - it's about always acting in good faith, which it sounds you did.

I always tell colleagues that you can only do what you think is best, and be preopared to explain your reasoning after the fact. You might have been worng. You might have made the wrong call. But you did what you genuinely thought was the right thibng to do.

Also - you were absolutely correct to leave the laptop closed whike on holiday.

Sounds like a shit show and one that’s not really your fault.

Did anyone die? Is anyone injured?

If not forget it. Not worth worrying about.

Sending strength and solidarity OP, do let us know how it goes. You’ve given me a timely reminder of how lucky I have it working in a stressful Head of role but in a healthy culture. My CEO would never ever throw me under a bus or fly off a handle; he is a nightmare in other ways but a genuinely good person with high values and ethics. You’ve settled an argument for me about switching jobs just yet; you seem assertive and aware, so echoing what others have said. Repeat calmly and consistently what the situation was; don’t feel forced to answer any questions until you’re sure you can give a good answer. If the CEO hasnt set you a list of questions he wants answered in this meeting, do not feel obligated to just provide a response. Meet it with ‘I’ll check that and get back to you’.

The thing is it’s not a cliche.
Just because something is normalised doesn’t mean it is right. A couple of centuries ago children where employed!

Of course providing and having money is a necessity, but people have options. I have friends that work 70 hour weeks, that’s the expectation. I’ve worked excessive hours continuously myself, & it did not enhance my life. I had money, but was too exhausted to do anything, enjoy it, & be a good mother to my dc and partner to my dh. This wont be the case for everyone. But we do not need to accept whatever is thrown at us in order to be employed. There are good employers out there.

There is no such thing as job security, and we are ultimately just a number. We are hired to make money for companies based on our experience and skill sets. It’s a trade off, but when it starts to adversely affect your mental
health excessively, and eat into most of your free time/holiday I would argue it isn’t worthwhile. I’ve noticed the more senior one is, the less we are allowed a work/life balance. They want more and more and more…never enough money for the shareholders, never enough profit. Employees are exhausted. And the irony is most of us will be replaced by AGI soon, and are already being replaced by AI.

Challenging toxicity and poor management usually doesn’t help either, and in fact will often mean you’re pushed out, and seen as problematic.

Ultimately, it is all just politics and a game to make money. You just have to play it smartly, and put yourself first. Being burnout won’t serve anyone well, including dc. There are always jobs, and opportunities out there. Employees are expendable.

There are laws in France now regarding contacting employees out of hours, because it is increasingly difficult to switch off when we are constantly connected.

You sound knowledgeable, assertive and justified. We're rooting for you!

Sounds like you're in problem-solving mode right now - good, take that with you into the meeting.

Honestly, taking your work on holiday with you is the sort of pressure that makes these things more likely, not less - everyone's entitled to their break.

@Perimenoanti

I live alone so 'life is too short' isn't an option because nobody else will pay my bills and I will put up with a lot before risking loosing my home. It's a ridiculous advice indeed. It's best to learn boundaries, foresee that something might not work out for another few years and then navigate that. Obviously that came unexpected in this case, but say the OP survives today then I would indeed screen the market for other opportunities with an aim to be out in 6-12 months as opposed to resigning tomorrow.

Hear hear. Hopefully this kicks off a journey for the OP which leads to her moving to pastures new and better.

I certainly think any environment where the kneejerk reaction of the boss is to desperately look for someone further down the organisation to blame is not a healthy one.

I think prioritising meeting a regulatory deadline was a wise call

With your boss at 4pm, focus on solutions and how to avoid similar happening again

Good luck at 4. Stay calm. Stick to the facts. Take a breath before you say anything.

Just wanted to add my wishes of luck and support as I know what it is like dealing with a terrible awful when in fact it is your responsibility. I have to work so hard not to be swallowed by my own failure/taking responsibility for a mistake to remain resilient and focused on resolving. It sounds like you have hit the ground running and have a great team who support you and each other. Remember navigating the fix (and putting in place changes for the future) is often just as important and appreciated.

@DRose3

There is no such thing as job security, and we are ultimately just a number. We are hired to make money for companies based on our experience and skill sets. It’s a trade off, but when it starts to adversely affect your mental
health excessively, and eat into most of your free time/holiday I would argue it isn’t worthwhile. I’ve noticed the more senior one is, the less we are allowed a work/life balance. They want more and more and more…never enough money for the shareholders, never enough profit. Employees are exhausted. And the irony is most of us will be replaced by AGI soon, and are already being replaced by AI.

Of course. I know all this better than most. There are good employers (though they can be quite hard to find).

I just think its pretty tone deaf when people who patently don't have to work particularly hard come on here and lecture those of us who do have to with patronising little homilies about how it will all mean nothing on your deathbed etc etc. We all know this. We don't need it rammed down our throats by people who are more fortunate.

Anyway I digress. Wishing the OP all the best.

@ThrowMeAwayTheVeryNextDay pop your phone on voice record and have it in your pocket. Sometimes it's easy to forget everything said in these meetings due to anxiety or shock etc., so you will be able to re-listen to it later.

So you had to make a decision either (a) to meet the regulator's deadline making a call based on the information available at the time, or (b) to miss the deadline and report later once all the facts were available?

I would say that, unless (b) is pretty common, then you made absolutely the right choice. Perhaps the CEO would have decided to miss the deadline, but that is their call to make and that is why they are paid the big bucks. You made sure that your firm met the deadline it was required to and you reported on the basis that you understood to be correct based on the information you had available. That was the right thing to do and you need to be clear on that when you speak to the CEO.

This is precisely why the regulator has a process for updated reporting after the fact. I suspect if you asked the regulator what they would prefer in your fact pattern they would confirm that you did precisely the right thing: you reported to the best of your knowledge by the required deadline.

You have nothing to feel bad about. The CEO either needs to trust, respect and support your judgement, or they need to not take annual leave when a reporting deadline is due. It is as simple as that.

Willing you on. The very best of luck. It’s all rubbish

This sounds so, so stressful! You did the best you could at the time with limited info, I can’t believe they think it’s appropriate to have you do that without full info and on leave..

From your updates, it’s difficult to see how you could justify taking any decision other than the one you took. Good luck- hopefully the CEO meeting will just be an update and next steps.

Obviously we only have the OPs side of the situation but I'm surprised that posters are thinking she will be sacked, on what grounds?

For all we know the CEO has spent the day finding a resolution and from what we now know it seems like the OP made the correct call in the circumstances

As a result some process issues have been found that can now be addressed which is actually a positive too

I hope I'm not being too optimistic

Hope it goes ok OP.