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Original poster

I've called in sick, shocked at the response

141 replies

Neversick · 19/03/2025 08:10

I am never off sick, I'll spare you the gory details but I'm really unwell. I did get up and try to push through it, but I can't stay away from the bathroom!

It is a terrible time for me to be away from work and I'd have gone in if I could, but I can't and TBH I wouldn't have thought they'd want me there.

Boss, who is very senior, not some inexperienced manager, has said don't worry about this morning, but if you can manage this afternoon's meeting that would be appreciated.

I do understand it's left them in a spot, but really?

OP posts:
Kneidlach · 19/03/2025 11:12

DBD1975 · 19/03/2025 09:08

This isn't a drama
It is the 21st century, if you cannot get to the meeting in person (and appreciate this is not a possibility) offer to attend by video link.
It is a compromise, people will understand you are unwell but it evidences you are trying and have made the effort.
In the early days of COVID I had to attend a meeting on Zoom, I didn't feel well and had to make a mad dash to the bathroom to be sick, I didn't have time to excuse myself or switch off my laptop so everyone in the meeting heard me throwing up (small house and bathroom is next to my office) I still cringe when I think about it but hey ho at least it showed my commitment!

Show quote history

I really don’t like this way of thinking. Since Covid the number of times I’ve seen people attending meetings online when they are evidently severely unwell, and unable to contribute effectively anyway, is really worrying.

If someone’s ill they’re ill, and normally the best way to recover promptly is to stop working until you feel better. Not force yourself to sit through a three hour online board meeting, or attempt to present complex information, when your brain’s simply not up to it.

Yes, there can be times when joining online when a bit ill is useful, such as when you’re very nearly over an illness but maybe not quite up to managing a long commute.

Needachange02 · 19/03/2025 11:12

DazzlingCuckoos · 19/03/2025 09:46

If it's a message, I think I'd reply:

"I'll see how I feel later, but based on how I've been, I really don't think I can manage a 1.5 hour journey without being near a bathroom, let alone potentially passing on a gastrointestinal illness to colleagues and clients. I may be able to join via Zoom or Teams if you need me, depending on how I'm feeling later, but I don't expect I'll make the meeting in person and I wouldn't count on me being able to be there on Zoom either. As you know, I would need to be on top form for this meeting, and me having to run out to the bathroom halfway through isn't exactly the impression we want to give, is it?"

If it's a big, important meeting, I can see why they'd want you there if at all possible, but perhaps he just doesn't realise quite how bad you've been.

OP, I wouldn’t leave any room for the manager thinking you will be attending via Zoom. They clearly have zero compassion or understanding.

Zebedee999 · 19/03/2025 11:13

Neversick · 19/03/2025 08:10

I am never off sick, I'll spare you the gory details but I'm really unwell. I did get up and try to push through it, but I can't stay away from the bathroom!

It is a terrible time for me to be away from work and I'd have gone in if I could, but I can't and TBH I wouldn't have thought they'd want me there.

Boss, who is very senior, not some inexperienced manager, has said don't worry about this morning, but if you can manage this afternoon's meeting that would be appreciated.

I do understand it's left them in a spot, but really?

"...if you can manage this afternoon's meeting that would be appreciated." Seems a polite enough comment.
If you're fit this afternoon go in,, if not don't. Why be a drama queen?

wooleyreach · 19/03/2025 11:15

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

AlmondLoaf · 19/03/2025 11:15

You have to stay away for 48hrs with a d&v bug.
Work to live not live to work, don't make the mistake of prioritising work above everything else.
I'd be tempted to sack them off and self cert the rest of the week, legally they have to abide by the law and let you self cert.. Up to 7 days.

FamilyPhoto · 19/03/2025 11:21

A former manager of mine insisted that a colleage who had Norovirus came in or she would start disciplinary proceedings ( she couldnt have, but colleague didnt know that )
Colleague struggled in for 2 hours until big boss realised what had happened and sent them home again. Within 3 days 3/4 of the staff were off with it.

CantStopMoving · 19/03/2025 11:24

Surely if the OP was so absolutely critical to this meeting then it could be rescheduled for when they are better? Even big important meetings are usually not life or death?

Skodasuperb · 19/03/2025 11:27

YourAzureEagle · 19/03/2025 08:48

I think I'd be tempted to go in, vomit on the carpet and shit all over the meeting room chairs - that would give them the message.

Reminds me of my first job, I got called to the deputy heads office after lunch for a telling off. what I didn't realise is that I'd stepped in a dog turd heading back to school, I sat there in his office, anxiously rubbing my feet on the carpet whilst he told me off, and thinking he'd let one go.

In fact I'd rubbed dog turd into his office carpet in a really big way - brilliant!

Edited

Properly laughed out loud at this.

I occasionally amuse myself trying to think up retribution on horrible people I've worked for, in a way that would make it very difficult to tell it was me. To be clear, I have never done this, but my current favourite idea is as follows: On the evening before your last day in an office, go to a local fishing shop and buy a pint of casters. These are the pupae of bluebottles and fish love them. They will be refrigerated to ensure they last longer and therefore nice and fresh. On the last day, surreptitiously sprinkle a few in various parts of the office, floor mounted air vents, potted plants, on top of the cupboards at the kitchenette, that sort of thing. About 5 days after you do that, the flies will start hatching and there will be a plague of them and it will be very unlikely to be traced to you.

whatsit84 · 19/03/2025 11:29

Neversick · 19/03/2025 08:30

If it were any of my staff my only response would be poor you, look after yourself and we'll see you when you're better. Is that really so unusual?

No, if it were virtual I don’t think there is any harm in asking but how do they expect you to go in person?!

AbigailisPartiedOut · 19/03/2025 11:32

I work in a pub in a residential area. This morning, while out the back, getting cleaning stuff I could hear the poor bloke next door being very unwell (the houses bathroom is right by our courtyard) and he'd just got a load of crap for calling in sick, presumably they didn't believe him. Felt very sorry for him. Employers need to stop thinking everyone is swinging the lead. People get sick and I'm sure his boss wouldn't want everyone else off with the same sickness bug. Hope you feel better soon OP.

TheIceBear · 19/03/2025 11:41

Doggymummar · 19/03/2025 08:13

Yes. We used to have to say that to people who called in sick. Migraine, if you feel better come in later, D and v , courier yourself some imodium instants and be in for 12 etc.

Horrible isn't it.

That’s terrible and completely ridiculous. Managers should not be advising employees to take medication over the phone. Where I work when you are sick you are sick and that is it.

BagelandEggs · 19/03/2025 11:45

Tell the manager the gory details and he'll never ask you to come in sick again! No-one can argue with the impossibility of working when it's 'coming out both ends'! rest well, lots of fluids and don't feel guilty!

Bleeky · 19/03/2025 11:45

Communicate to team.
I am still unwell, cannot make the meeting.

I am ok for meeting to go ahead, X can you handle or reschedule?

Incywincyspi · 19/03/2025 11:54

Kneidlach · 19/03/2025 11:12

I really don’t like this way of thinking. Since Covid the number of times I’ve seen people attending meetings online when they are evidently severely unwell, and unable to contribute effectively anyway, is really worrying.

If someone’s ill they’re ill, and normally the best way to recover promptly is to stop working until you feel better. Not force yourself to sit through a three hour online board meeting, or attempt to present complex information, when your brain’s simply not up to it.

Yes, there can be times when joining online when a bit ill is useful, such as when you’re very nearly over an illness but maybe not quite up to managing a long commute.

Show quote history

I agree it’s actually pretty revolting for other people on the call having to listen to that. It’s still grim hearing people with colds on teams calls sniffle and snort and cough let alone someone with an upset stomach. It looks really unprofessional and shows poor boundaries and poor judgment. I appreciate there may be pressure from the boss etc but if you are too sick to work then it is what it is. I really don’t think dragging yourself in to work is the coup people think it is.

VelvetUndergrounds · 19/03/2025 11:57

Doggymummar · 19/03/2025 08:13

Yes. We used to have to say that to people who called in sick. Migraine, if you feel better come in later, D and v , courier yourself some imodium instants and be in for 12 etc.

Horrible isn't it.

Wow, that’s awful, what type of industry was that?

MaloryJones · 19/03/2025 12:12

YourAzureEagle · 19/03/2025 08:48

I think I'd be tempted to go in, vomit on the carpet and shit all over the meeting room chairs - that would give them the message.

Reminds me of my first job, I got called to the deputy heads office after lunch for a telling off. what I didn't realise is that I'd stepped in a dog turd heading back to school, I sat there in his office, anxiously rubbing my feet on the carpet whilst he told me off, and thinking he'd let one go.

In fact I'd rubbed dog turd into his office carpet in a really big way - brilliant!

Edited

Hahaha

Ty for this
Made me really laugh .

Velmy · 19/03/2025 12:24

Neversick · 19/03/2025 08:35

I haven't replied. It's one of those messages you type but shouldn't send!

Show quote history

I probably would - unless you've given a really gory account of what's keeping you off work, he may be under the impression that you're just a bit rough and might be in later. At least if you confirm that you definitely won't, he'll have his expectations set.

Hope you feel better soon!

Bogginsthe3rd · 19/03/2025 12:35

Seems reasonable of your boss to give you the morning off and ask you to reassess how you are feeling later in the day, given how important the meeting is. If you are still unwell, despite the extra rest, just let them know.

TinkerbellStarbright · 19/03/2025 12:38

This is awful, of course you shouldn’t go even if it’s on zoom. If I went to a meeting and someone was sick I’d think for gods sake why are they here. Forget about it and get some rest.

TinkerbellStarbright · 19/03/2025 12:38

Bogginsthe3rd · 19/03/2025 12:35

Seems reasonable of your boss to give you the morning off and ask you to reassess how you are feeling later in the day, given how important the meeting is. If you are still unwell, despite the extra rest, just let them know.

Are you for real? She’s been up all night being sick. If someone came to a meeting because it was ‘important’ and infected me with a sickness bug I would be fuming!

Nervousforscan · 19/03/2025 12:39

Id be extremely angry at this - it really comes across he doesn't trust your judgement of your own health. If you felt you would be better for the afternoon you would have suggested so yourself.

I could perhaps understand this comment to a flaky employee - I work with lots of young teens for whom the work is part time and low priority and when we get calls in with headaches etc we do sometimes say if you feel better later on please come in, as we can move them to an evening shift etc. Never ever for D&V though - even when it's a pretty obvious lie - it's irresponsible to even suggest it.

You didn't choose to be ill and frankly if you died this afternoon I guarantee not only would the meeting be covered, but so would your entire job for the future of forever!

I don't like people playing sick for time off, but I detest companies that are difficult about people with genuine illness - particularly for employees with low rates of sickness who work hard!

Id be replying 'I won't be able to work this afternoon - I have D&V and won't be in a fit state. I will let you know if I have recovered for tomorrow.'

Then tomorrow, I'd be taking a day to rest and hydrate as D&V does an absolute number on you and you'll still be contagious.

Odras · 19/03/2025 12:40

I think you just have to be very clear that you are very ill and likely infectious. He asked but you are free to say no. He might be just in a tight spot.

TorroFerney · 19/03/2025 13:06

Neversick · 19/03/2025 10:32

I said I'd been up all night vomiting, had tried to pull myself together, but couldn't make it stop.

TBH, I don't think it matters that I'm contagious. It does, but that's not the reason I don't plan to attend, in person or remotely. I'm not well enough to do it justice, and I know if I go and do a poor job, no one's going to say poor Never was really unwell the day she did badly in a meeting and lost that deal for us.

Show quote history

You didn’t say you’d tried to pull yourself together, that’s like telling him you think you are unreasonable for being ill. In this case less words is better, over explaining is like you are justifying it . You aren’t sorry or apologetic as this is out of your control. A simple no I won’t be able to come in.

be more male.

SuspiciousChipmunk · 19/03/2025 13:13

I put my phone on silent or switch it off when I’m off sick. I’m usually sleeping and don’t want to be disturbed. They can either send someone to my home to do a welfare check (I’m a true Mumsnetter so wouldn’t answer anyway) or I’ll call them the next morning.

Whoarethoseguys · 19/03/2025 13:16

Neversick · 19/03/2025 08:35

I haven't replied. It's one of those messages you type but shouldn't send!

Show quote history

Sensible.
Go back to bed and get some rest and forget about it.
Hope you feel better soon. There is nothing worse than stomach bugs/food poisoning.
And in my experience the more you put yourself out for work then more they expect from you with little or no reward for it