I've called in sick, shocked at the response

[Neversick]

I am never off sick, I'll spare you the gory details but I'm really unwell. I did get up and try to push through it, but I can't stay away from the bathroom!

It is a terrible time for me to be away from work and I'd have gone in if I could, but I can't and TBH I wouldn't have thought they'd want me there.

Boss, who is very senior, not some inexperienced manager, has said don't worry about this morning, but if you can manage this afternoon's meeting that would be appreciated.

I do understand it's left them in a spot, but really?

Yeah, and an employee who already feels valued only takes off the time they need, they don't need their manager to hint that taking a whole day sick is an indulgence or that they are swinging the lead.

If I was a colleague, I’d be REALLY angry your boss had put pressure on you to come in and infect us all. Employers have a duty of care - both to you AND other employees

In our place we have to stay off for 48 hours since the last symptom, public sector, to prevent spreading to others. Why any workplace doesn't enforce this, in fact wants the reverse, is grim.

So if it were my organisation, off sick until Monday now!

Crikey. Those disabled/ sick people who “ try” these jobs., will soon be saying “ fuck this for a game of solders!”

Unbelievable! We are humans, not machines! In my school, students must be absent for 48 hours, end of.

Get well soon OP.

You need to be quite firm and honest in this situation.

"I am unable to attend the meeting as I am unable to leave the bathroom".

or just don't respond. You have advised them that you are ill, that should be the end of it.

That's a terrible idea. Someone that unwell is going to contribute nothing. Or going to slow things down or make poor decisions.

I think you need to be assertive and just say you are not well enough to attend the meeting.

Go into the office… Share the love! Then 95% of the staff will be off sick, you’ll be Typhoid Mary and boss wouldn’t dream of being accountable for that.

If it's a message, I think I'd reply:

"I'll see how I feel later, but based on how I've been, I really don't think I can manage a 1.5 hour journey without being near a bathroom, let alone potentially passing on a gastrointestinal illness to colleagues and clients. I may be able to join via Zoom or Teams if you need me, depending on how I'm feeling later, but I don't expect I'll make the meeting in person and I wouldn't count on me being able to be there on Zoom either. As you know, I would need to be on top form for this meeting, and me having to run out to the bathroom halfway through isn't exactly the impression we want to give, is it?"

If it's a big, important meeting, I can see why they'd want you there if at all possible, but perhaps he just doesn't realise quite how bad you've been.

Yes, this. Short simple reply, “Unfortunately I am really not well and it doesn’t seem at all likely that I will be able to attend this afternoon.”

Hi, sorry you are poorly. Please do not go in for the sake of your own health and for the sake of others. With D&V, it is important that you are totally free of infection and your boss should be aware of this. If you go in and other people become ill because they have contracted whatever infection it is, they will not thank you and the whole office may have to be deep cleaned to ensure it is free from infection. I would not thank a colleague coming into work and causing me to become ill. It is bad enough when you are infected with cold/flu vuruses - it has happened to me so many times. I have had ruined holidays abroad and Christmas has been a disaster because someone came into work sneezing and coughing and being a martyr and I have caught whatever virus it is and it always seemed to happen a day or so before my planned holiday/Christmas holiday. That particular place of work were not strict about people taking time off when ill and did not pester you by ringing every day to ask if you were coming in as happens in a lot of places now I have worked at other places where the boss has had the attitude that you should go in just because she never fell ill (infections, viruses and illnesses would have been scared to infect/affect her). You must look after yourself. Ring the Pharmacist or GP (if possible) for advice.
Get well soon for your sake.

So basically he said if your feeling better this afternoon ( which people sometimes do ) come in
if your not then don’t it’s not outrageous

It's awful, but I'm not surprised.

I once declined to travel to a client - a 5 hour flight away and one who was known to be awful, yells at his advisors etc - because I was recovering from surgery and was under medical guidance not to fly. And was subjected to a one hour call from my boss trying to bully me into going anyway. My own mistake was to be WFH to try and keep all the balls in the air for the team rather than accepting being signed off.

Reader, I don't work there anymore.

God, I’m actually so lucky with my work. They never make a big deal out of sickness.

I remember having a boss who when I rang in sick after being up all night told me to see how I felt in an hours time. It'd been an endless night and I had hung on waiting for morning so I could ring her and then try and go back to sleep. I did feel insulted that she didn't trust my judgment. But worse - on a later occasion she repeatedly rang me when I was on a trolley in a and e on morphine ( gall bladder) asking for updates. The a and e nurse was horrified at her persistence ...I was in no state to deal with her.

Maybe you could offer to attend via Teams but explain what you have said here and that you don't want to be sub-par and let the company down?
It is crystal clear then that you are offering 'your all' but that 'all' will be sub-par due to your illness? Sit on your Teams call with a sick-basin if needed.It's crazy that, post the massive disruption caused by Covid, 'presentee-ism' is still a thing!

You are sick. You need to mind yourself.

Honestly, these BIG MEETINGS. Probably dreamt up by some twat looking to push the needle or some such twattery. Work will survive all of us. Look after your health.

If your workplace doesn't accept that you are ill, you might be in the wrong workplace.

Also, I'd be rightly annoyed if you were my colleague and you rocked in with a virus.

Reply with full details of your symptoms to the boss, remind them that in cases of D&V one should not return to the office until 48hrs have passed since the last episode. Remind them that D&V is easily passed on however vigilant your hygiene might be.

Really? This is why bosses like OP's feel they can say what he did.

I have always dreaded phoning in sick. I feel like I have to lay down to sound bedridden and more convincing.

I hope you're feeling better soon. I honestly think that going in later is inconsiderate to other staff. Sickness bugs spread like wildfire and you need rest away.

I'd send a brief email back: apologies, but based on how I'm currently feeling, there's no possibility of me attending later in the day.

I don't think it's a shocking response, but I think it's a bit off. I do sometimes ask colleagues who report in sick whether they're up to coming in later - but usually only those who have quite a lot of absence for 'headaches' and similar which seem to have cleared up by lunchtime. I don't usually ask it of colleagues who don't have a track record of absences, I trust them to tell me if they're likely to be able to come in later in the day, and if they don't, I assume not. To be as charitable as possible to your boss, maybe they thought that as you're never ill you didn't realise that half a day's sick leave is possible, and was just mentioning it. Whatever, I don't think it's what I'd've done in the circumstances but I don't think it's a major shocker, just say no.

ETA: Hope you feel better soon, OP.

Surely you could do this on teams or zoom? Otherwise what is the point of modern technology. I've attended important meetings online before post surgery.
Don't go in. Novovirus is rampant at the moment and you'll give it to everyone.

I think there are nuances that would help us here. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask you to dial into something if it's not a head issue (migraine, sinisitus, etc). But that's if the something you need to dial into is a big PR campaign about to launch that a team of people have worked on for months, or something similarly project-ey.
If it's a mundane admin job where they just have a little less headcount for the day but it's just going through the same motions as yesterday and tomorrow then I agree they should just let you have the day off and not bother you.

Rather I thought this offer may shame Boss into re-thinking as it spells out that OP is too ill to attend in person.
It risks he might 'demand' it of course but he is already doing that so some more info from the OP, phrased in a 'willing but it's howlingly obvious' way might help?

I think the boss is just chancing his/her luck to be honest, hoping that you'll feel better and making it clear that your presence would be appreciated. Hard to judge tone via email but if they're usually reasonable then I wouldn't read any more into it than that. I do think this is one of those occasions where you may need to be slightly more graphic and make it clear that you are vomiting/going to the bathroom frequently and that it wouldn't make a good impression on clients/colleagues.