I've called in sick, shocked at the response

[Neversick]

I am never off sick, I'll spare you the gory details but I'm really unwell. I did get up and try to push through it, but I can't stay away from the bathroom!

It is a terrible time for me to be away from work and I'd have gone in if I could, but I can't and TBH I wouldn't have thought they'd want me there.

Boss, who is very senior, not some inexperienced manager, has said don't worry about this morning, but if you can manage this afternoon's meeting that would be appreciated.

I do understand it's left them in a spot, but really?

I am going to assume that OP didn't call in and say "i have been shitting and puking for 36 hours so I'm not coming in"
and said something more like "sorry, have to take a sick day today"

To be fair to the boss, s/he doesn't know if it is one of those things where you wake up awful, then perk up at lunchtime. For me, for a senior person (assuming op is fairly senior if she is needed) and it is a very big important meeting, I don't see an issue with that.

If OP did call giving gory details - s/he's an arse (boss not OP)

hope you feel better soon, OP

Don't offer to attend remotely - if you're feeling unwell the only thing that's going to happen is that you'll underperform or make a mistake and you'll be held responsible for it even though you were too ill to attend in the first place. Been there, got the t-shirt.

I am lucky to not often be off a lot and my experience is that they are much more likely to pressure people who are conscientious and helpful to try to do this kind of thing. They tried to get me to take on a report the day after my dad's funeral while I was still on leave by calling my personal phone number, whereas some team members they wouldn't ever contact on leave for fear of a complaint. They've contacted me other times on sick leave and annual leave too.

If anything happened to me, they'd replace me tomorrow. I've only ever been rewarded for going above and beyond by getting more work. I work very hard still, but have very clear boundaries now.

Ignore the posters saying you should be OK to attend, if you JUST TRY.......🙄 Even if it's only an online meeting, it will still be difficult if you're ill. It doesn't mean someone is MORE COMMITTED if they are very ill, and show up for work, all it does is spread the germs. (If you go in physically obvs.) And employers don't value you anymore, you just get more used/dumped on.

If you're too ill, you're too ill. (I am guessing stomach bug?) Probably best to get off the internet here though, it will make you feel worse. Make you more queasy etc.

I said I'd been up all night vomiting, had tried to pull myself together, but couldn't make it stop.

TBH, I don't think it matters that I'm contagious. It does, but that's not the reason I don't plan to attend, in person or remotely. I'm not well enough to do it justice, and I know if I go and do a poor job, no one's going to say poor Never was really unwell the day she did badly in a meeting and lost that deal for us.

I'd be livid if i went to an important work meeting and someone was in the room with obvious symptoms of a gastro bug! That's why we have sick leave!

It's bad timing but it happens all the time. Nothing should hang on one person being present.

Imgine what your colleagues will think if you turn up looking like you've been up all night with D&V.

And imagine what they'll say - not to you boss, but to and about YOU - if they catch it and give it to their family?

Use your NO.

You're not fit to present today.

Recommend postponing the presentation for a few days, or if your material is available, that someone else delivers it.

Ignore people saying go in or log in. Your health is more important. And frankly these attitudes are exactly how flu and D&V spread. If people actually stayed off, the whole office wouldn't end up plagued at once. I hate the whole culture of pushing through and going in.

Your manager needs to act like a manager and sort the meeting out without asking you.

@Neversick Don't log on or go in. If you couldn't travel on a bus or car without needing the loo, you aren't well enough to work (even from home). Also, if you log in for one meeting and had to take tomorrow off, it counts as two separate periods of sickness.

People get ill. This is their problem, not yours.

I understand this, but there is a big difference between "if you happen to feel better this afternoon, I would be really grateful if you could make it, but we can cover it if you can't" and "take some medication and we'll see you at 12".

And wouldn’t a potential client be absolutely furious at being exposed without their consent to a contagious D and V bug?

I think sometimes we have to command respect by setting a boundary. OP said she is rarely sick. So work should accept it when she says she is ill. If the boss doesn't respect this then quite honestly, OP is at the wrong company.

I had similar a few years ago. I was fairly senior. Very rarely out sick, I would be seen as fairly professional, someone who gets on with it. I got a very nasty virus where I could barely breath, ended up in hospital. Work kept contacting me as some MAJOR thing was going on (Major to them anyhow). Could I help? When was I back? I made it very clear that I was very ill, end of story. Luckily, I had resigned a few months before and was working out my notice.

You get s**t for thanks for being a martyr to the cause.

These days in our office we prefer any germs/risk of infection to stay away from the office. Working from home possibilities can mean that this approach results in fewer sickness days being taken.

OP - what you have definitely sounds like it's best kept away from the office and other meeting participants. I don't think he should have asked you to consider going in

YANBU. Tell them in plain English that you are too sick to attend work. Then mute them and get yourself to bed. It is very disappointing of your boss but sadly unsurprising, 💐

Also, no sensible manager wants a sickness bug spreader in the building.

We always say to staff, the world won't end because you missed a day or two and get better. It's bad timing but not the end of the world.

Expecting a person to attend in person and passing on a gastro bug is poor management tbh.

Do not attend the meeting. They wouldn't hesitate to make you redundant if they needed to. Life is too short. I'd be looking for another job.

Despite a couple of chronic conditions, I don’t take many days off. The exceptions are when I catch D&V or another one of my children’s delightful bugs. Whereas I can manage my conditions with adjustments, the bugs (which are probably once an year) aren’t manageable during the acute phase (usually one day). It’s ridiculous to request you go in - unsupportive, and downright disrespectful and stupid given you’ll give everyone your bug. So, as a senior manager who doesn’t take time off lightly, I’d reply with something like; ‘I’m currently not able to leave the bathroom and l won’t be able to join this afternoon. I want to recover as quickly as possible, and do not want to pass this on to colleagues. If there are questions which arise from the slides and preparation I have done, very happy to pick them up when I am back at work’.

It's an awful response for a migraine too.

in that case: boss is an arse.
And when you go back you need to have The Conversation about how to reply to someone calling in sick.

hope you're getting some respite and recovery

Boss, who is very senior, not some inexperienced manager, has said don't worry about this morning, but if you can manage this afternoon's meeting that would be appreciated.

Why should he apologise? What for?? He's just stated a fact. Since when do we have to apologise for telling the truth?

given OPs update of calling in and explaining what she has - yes boss needs to apologise. And have a good think about how to respond when someone calls in sick (and yes, you can tailor your answer to malingerers and stoic-always-attenders too)

I'm going on holiday on Saturday and I would be beyond angry to be put in a meeting room with a sick person, never mind someone with something as contagious with V&D. Unbelievably poor management.

Depends how important the meeting was and whether it was on site, off site, or remote access.

No job is worth being a martyr for. Stay at home until you are well.

a big PR campaign about to launch

If it's that important, you make sure that two people can deliver the presentation in case one is sick.