Work unsustainable (teacher) and I’m not sure what to do

[feb190225]

I work as a teacher, three days a week, and have two children aged 4 and 1 and a half. I’ve been back at work properly since the beginning of this academic year and I’m really struggling with the inflexibility of the job - I know it isn’t unique to teaching.

I am trying to work out what option is best. Leave and come back to it in a few years - but surely things won’t have improved when my children are at primary school? Look for another role - but what, and what about school holidays? Just feeling a bit lost and fed up.

My sister was in a similar situation, she quit mainstream and now works in a SEN school, they have been much more flexible and allow her to work 4 mornings a week 8:15 - 1:15, this means that if really necessary and the kids are poorly her hubby can stay at home then work late.

I would move schools so you get a different line manager. Consider working at the same school your kids will go to (if Primary).
interesting as most parents I know wish they’d gone into teaching as it is so much easier childcare wise. Holidays off and generally possibly to finish before 6pm before the commute and collection from childcare venues. I realise it’s not always that easy and no job is perfect (seems you have a difficult boss). I wonder if swapping environments/ going part time would help?

Thanks. We’ll have to wait and see; I’m not making any big decisions. Every holiday I dread going back so much and feel so sick at the thought that I start getting into a negative and desperate mood!

DH isn’t habitually 40 minutes away. He can be; he also can be seven hours away. We are in the middle of the country so mostly a couple of hours I’d say. But in any case it is more the attitude of those around me than frequency of events really, where I’m begrudged ten minutes but hours of unpaid work are expected.

I know it isn’t just teaching but it’s more that I am a teacher.

I honestly find these teacher posts confusing and frustrating - having a job that gives you 13 weeks holiday a year so you can be with your children during school holidays, plus has hours of 8.25-4pm which allows you to do drop off and pick up is beyond a dream for most of us.

When discussing this was friends in similar situations, when they’ve calculated their actual hourly rate (ie rate for 39 weeks per year) there are very little options that would vaguely provide that income.

surely when you have 3 kids you think what you’re going to do for childcare with sickness etc? Every working person has to?

I would do anything to have all school holidays with my child, but like most people, I can’t. I also can’t just take random time off when she’s ill- we’ve had to make plans for those situations (ie part of planning of parenthood).

The grass is definitely not always greener…

@Proudestmumofone1 What hours do you believe teachers work again? Until 4pm?!!!!! And show me a teacher that does school runs for their own kids and I'll give you £1 million pounds.
You can't be for real?!!

@everychildmatters this is exactly what the OP said in her posts!!!!!!

ofc I know work has to happen outside this time, but she said that’s the hours she works and does drop off and pick up.!

@Proudestmumofone1 What she said was she gets in for 8.25 and that this isn't ideal, and she is permitted to leave AFTER 4pm. This is pretty lenient as far as schools go, and of course with these hours she would still need to rely on before and after school clubs.
I was a primary teacher for 20 years (just left the profession - woohoo!) and my normal in-school hours were 8 am - 5.15 pm. This is by no means unusual.
Teaching is absolutely not own-child friendly and one of (many) the reasons I left as I have a 4 yo of my own.

Apologies, 4.05pm.

I dream of having those hours (and yes working outside them when needed) but being able to do drop off, pick up and all school holidays is a dream for many working mums.

i don’t mean to be harsh but 8-5.15pm is a very normal working day. Yes there are many difficulties in the profession, but I can’t see working hours being one of them.

A previous teacher here.

I just couldn't justify the stress that I got from teaching; it's a really, really hard job.

Have you considered teaching abroad? I found this much less stressful and more accommodating than UK teaching.

When I was teaching, I spent hours after my actual working hours physically in school preparing content for my students. I wanted to give them the best possible lessons and worked outside of my working hours daily.

Look at the charity sector or education related management or senior administration roles.

You can filter for hybrid and/or remote jobs as these would be more suitable for your family life.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/

higher education related roles

My local football club recently advertised for an educational programme manager & your have the background for this type of role. So it's worth looking at your local sports and football clubs. You've got great transferable skills that are valuable in any sector.

@Proudestmumofone1 - yeah, but the thing is, I am a teacher.

Let’s say I worked as an accountant and I was saying I wasn’t happy in my role, my employers begrudged me ten minutes leniency for a medical appointment but expected me to come in during annual leave the problem would be the same. It isn’t teachers vs everyone else. It’s I hate my job at the moment and I happen to be a teacher.

The worst is when you say you’ve come back after maternity leave and feel out of the groove, things have changed and not for the better, you can’t do right for doing wrong, you are struggling with the inflexibility of your role, you’ve lost all your confidence and people say ‘oh but holidays I just don’t understaaaaand.’

I don’t have three children by the way.

@Proudestmumofone1 it's not a race to the bottom, being a working parent is hard, full stop. I appreciate lots of teachers don't help themselves by going on about how teaching is harder than all other jobs (I don't do this). What I would say, is that given the pay, teachers do work very long hours. Most people I know who work longer hours than I do are paid a lot more for their time!

It's very difficult in the morning for teachers. Both my husband and I have to be in front of children at 8.20, and the primary school we are likely to be allocated has a before school club which starts at 8am which means we can't get to work on time. We can't work from home at all. In lots of families where there are 2 professionals, they can alternate work from home days so one person is doing the childcare pick ups and drop offs. If you are a teacher doing this on your own as OP is this will obviously be difficult. The families I know who things work well for basically have one teacher who covers the holidays, and one non teacher who is doing the morning drop off. The end of the day is generally going to be ok for teachers.

I work 4 days a week, and I'm expected to go in for events on the days I don't work in the evening - if my husband wasn't there I would be expected to pay for childcare. Can you tell me what other profession would require you to go into work unpaid and pay to be there? I'm not saying teaching is harder than other stuff, I'm just saying that if we were post COVID with all the wfh when I was starting my career, I would pick something else. I also compare with friends who have gone down to 4 days but work "compressed hours" so they earn a full time wage. They are efficient and experienced so they are basically not working those compressed hours but their output is fine. I, on the other hand, to work 4 days just had to drop 20% of my salary, and I'm expected to do 100% of everything other than the lessons I teach. It's a shit job for well qualified and experienced women with small children.

It is useful in the holidays! But for OP that will then mean that she will get zero break. No ability to choose your own holiday and take a day off on your own, her children will be with her all the time. And we basically never go on abroad holiday because it's too expensive in school holidays. No worrying about whether to take the fine for us!

People are posting here with empathy and suggestions because things are difficult. If someone in another profession posted similar they would receive the same, you would hope.

I don’t think switching industries is the answer. I don’t know any working person who has those sort of hours, even before school holidays.

Can you have some time as a SAHM with a bit of tutoring to prop up your income?

Honestly as an outsider, you’d be mad to give up the deal you’ve got.

Possibly but it doesn’t feel sustainable at the moment.

I get that changing schools might seem to the the answer but you can’t know what the sort of ethos and atmosphere is like until you’ve been working there. And I’d be unlikely to get part time as I’ve said. I had a look at English teaching roles within 30 miles of me and there are plenty but all full time.

Show me a profession that gets half terms, summer holidays and Christmas off with their children and I'll give you £1 million! The hard done by teachers act gets so boring.

The obvious answer is trying another school. I know that can feel scary, overwhelming and you don't know what you're walking into. However it likely won't be worse than the situation you are in now.

Those jobs, email and ask if they'd consider a PT applicant? Schools are screaming out for teachers.

OP aside from getting a cleaning job within school hours there isn't really anything else you can do. Most people can't do school runs or pick ups, most people work long inflexible hours, at least you are getting the half terms and holidays off. Maybe you could try and get a reception type job at a school if the teaching is too much stress.

I can try that Herc but it could end up as just out of the frying pan into the fire. Yes, not many schools are as inflexible as mine but some have worse outcomes and so on … hard to know what’s best. Really I just never want to walk into another school again but I know that isn’t the answer either.

Seriously, you can walk into a teaching job at the moment and ask your terms. Schools are desperate for decent teachers.

If you like the look of a school, email and ask if they would consider applicants looking for part time. Many will. Last year we employed two part time teachers for a full time role as they were both so good and had different skills to bring to the department. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

You sound very negative and hopeless and I can understand that you’re feeling trapped at the moment. However possibilities for positive change are out there. Supportive and flexible schools do exist. It is possible to teach and have a life. Teaching is a small world and most of us have a good understanding of the reputation of other local schools through knowing people who work or who have worked in them. You must have a good idea of the schools around you that are more desirable to work in. Are there any independent schools?

I will also say that having worked in several
schools and done many interviews over the years, you can always feel straight away on walking into a school whether it will be a positive working environment and if it will suit you. It is always a worry that you’ll go from the frying pan into the fire as you say, but I’ve always been able to tell immediately if I’ve walked into that kind of environment on an interview day. You can also have an off the record chat with any teachers in the staff room - I was warned off by a teacher once when I was waiting for my interview, who told me everyone was trying to get out!

Teaching doesn’t have to be forever, but at the moment when you can’t afford to take a pay cut and you don’t have the energy or time to think about what else you might want to do, getting a job in a better school to tide you over for a couple of years while you work out what’s next could be the answer.

We can never book days off, we can never work from home, we can never work compressed hours, we can never have a later shift or move our hours around or swap shifts, we can never come in an hour late while we wait for the plumber and so on. Yes we have the holidays, which is fabulous, but we have zero flexibility during term time, which is quite unusual in the working world these days.

I don’t think teachers are uniquely hard done by and there are many jobs that lack flexibility and have long hours. However, the fact that we have long holidays is not a perk that we don’t pay for in other ways.

I came on to suggest childminding! Is there a school near you? Some do pickup / drop off only (ie: dropped off with you at 7:30am, you take to school, picked up again from you at 5 after you’ve picked the children up from school).

You don’t have the children for that many hours in your house, you can set up stations for them or have it a living room / garden / kitchen only thing, not upstairs.

@DorsetHornet the holidays are undeniably a perk, but you do know we don't get paid for them, right? It's not like paid leave.

@feb190225 apologies I may have missed this, but what's stopping you changing schools?