Work unsustainable (teacher) and I’m not sure what to do

[feb190225]

I work as a teacher, three days a week, and have two children aged 4 and 1 and a half. I’ve been back at work properly since the beginning of this academic year and I’m really struggling with the inflexibility of the job - I know it isn’t unique to teaching.

I am trying to work out what option is best. Leave and come back to it in a few years - but surely things won’t have improved when my children are at primary school? Look for another role - but what, and what about school holidays? Just feeling a bit lost and fed up.

As long as you share the emergency co er with your partner, your employer will just have to suck it up

Oh and you can work however many days a week you want.

Which days of the week do you work OP? I work 3 days, drop kids 8am, at work for 8.30 start, leave work 4.15/30pm, pick kids up before 5pm. I do Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I've done this since my eldest was 10 months, now 6 years and 3 years. I think it helps massively that I don't work 2 days in a row, I think the children seemed to pick up less bugs through the early nursery years, I think because they always had a day in between to re-coop and it felt a lot less stressful always knowing it was just one day and I was off tomorrow. I have on very few occasions had to leave work and I think tbh most jobs, you get a bit of a hard time if you have to go collect children early etc

Your hours don't sound excessive for work? Wheres your partner in this?? Can't they pick up if child ill..

Most people manage by using childminders/after school care fir their working days...
Many people both work full-time in a household so pay for childcare
Many teachers have dc! My bf is a secondary teacher .. no family support.. so they alternate being 1st ctc for illness etc so the load is shared...
Im not saying stay in a toxic workspace... Thats not good for anyone but done things are foreseeable eg kids going to school needing childcare.. what were your plans?
Not saying its easy but maybe create childcare plans for each option..

Childminding is not a massively easy option as yes most is in your house and you may find your dc find that tricky if other kids are in their house when they aren't...

You have two problems:

1. Your school is horrible. Only one of the four I've taught at has been horrible in that way. I left asap.
2. Your DH hasn't adjusted his work at all now he's a dad. Imagine a mum saying 'oh I'm here there and everywhere, could be 40 minutes away, could be Vietnam.' I mean my friend's son and DIL are corporate lawyers and are a bit like that - so they employ two nannies and have my friend and her husband as backup.

You actually might find 0.8 is better than 0.6, however.

I'd be amazed if an experienced English teacher couldn't find 0.8 somewhere.

I'm HOD, English, and your team sounds awful. We would bend over backwards to help each other out: duties, lessons etc covered and no expectation of payback.

Tutoring isn't hard to come by - I started in 2020 and have a waiting list now. Even have some waiting for online sessions; if you'd like to PM I'd be happy to pass your details on. Advertising on local FB pages is enough.

But I'm cross with your department. It's a hard enough job without making it more difficult for each other!

Leave and make a change now. I wish I had. I left when my two were 5 and 8. I wish I had left 4 years earlier.

It is such a hard job for little pay and no thanks.

Instead you can tutor online or in person, sign up for examining, work in an A.P. or CIC with children who have EOTAS on the EHCP or whatever. Targeted Provision are a good company to sign up with; there are other similar companies.

I know someone who trained as a Dyslexia Specialist and Assessor to add another string to their bow when tutoring.

When you feel happier you can make a lower salary work because you are no longer exhausted and can see the benefit.

Search for leaving teaching groups on FB-lots of ideas shared in there.

You can always return in the future.

I had a friend who was in your position and did supply work until all her kids started secondary. She worked 2 to 6 days a month doing supply. It's kept her hand in and kept up her pension, she earned quite a lot for a few days. She had no trouble getting a full time job when she wanted to. She probably did supply for 10 years.
She could pick and choose what she wanted to work and managed to work childcare with a flexible child minder and swapping childcare with friends.

I really don’t want 0.8 though @Phineyj . I’m barely coping with 0.6.

I’ll definitely have to look more into tutoring. I feel a bit embarrassed doing so. It would also be hard as DH is away so much but I guess people could always come here or do zoom.

Look for another job at a small, private school

I don't think you can do tutoring from home if you have two young kids there too and with no childcare. It's not really the best environment for learning.

No indeed - this is the difficulty.

Look for a job with your local authority in children's services, may be more flexible.

So the problem is your manager rather than your job would you say?
Can you apply to another school? Our kids teachers sometimes have a day off as their kid is ill and they use a TA or a supply. It’s life! Sounds like you needs better boss!

The flexibility pressures isn't just teaching, that is just how it is for most working parents with young children so you do need to be aware the grass isn't always greener. You do at least have the trade off of the extra weeks off, most parents have those pressures all year and having them harder in school holidays too.

From your posts I'm not sure that unless you stopped working or did something for yourself like childminding it would be much if any different, 3 days and those hours isn't bad, it's more the reality of doing it with small children. Childminding is a lot less holidays too.

I think if your DH shared collecting the children when they are ill or for GP appointments it would send a clear and helpful message to your employer. Obviously, he can’t do this if he is abroad, but you mention sometimes he is only 40 minutes away. Presumably you are looking after the children in the holidays and on your non working days, so is the plan he will never share their care at all?

I left teaching after 2 terms of returning from maternity leave. I don’t know how people with kids actually cope teaching. I found it incredibly hard. I also had huge issues with the school system itself so it made my decision easier.

My daughter is 8 now and I’m a SAHM and we home educate her. Don’t want either of us in that system.

Are you a teacher? Teachers are generally paid 6.5 hours a day but there is so much work outside of that. It’s not just knock off work at 4pm. There will be marking, planning, phone calls and a whole host of other admin tasks that take place. I was working til midnight to try and keep up with demands.

Sounds awful but... stick to it. You will have a good pension and if you leave it is tricky to get back on to a part time role. Teaching is extremely difficult but honestly it will get a bit easier once your little ones are a bit older. If there's an option of 2 days go for it but otherwise stay put. Its a case of the grass is always browner. Us teachers are always looking for a way out especially when our own children are young, it's exhausting, but honestly, stay strong and stick at it. xx

Tutoring won't really work if you're husband isn't there in the evenings to look after the kids while you work.

What does your partner do? Given the nature of your job can your partner deal with the sporadic things like illness seeing as he benefits hugely from your long holidays? Which believe me are much harder to manage than what you’re describing now.

I’m a secondary teacher, work three days a week. Kids are dropped off at breakfast club early - about 7:45am, and go to out of school club but I am really disciplined and leave school from 3:20pm to pick them up before 4. On a Monday I have cpd til 4:30 and around 5 later parents’ evenings per academic year, in which case hubby picks them up earlier. I remind myself that there aren’t many jobs out there when I can leave at 3:20 and pick it up later if I need to! I am experienced and so I don’t spend hours planning, unless I want to.

And the holidays are just the best. That’s what I live for. You would have to find childcare!

Sounds like your line manager is an issue here. Maybe switch schools? Cherry pick schools that feel right for you and go for jobs there. In a supportive school that cares about staff wellbeing, it can work. Btw there is no judgement in my school if I leave at 3:20, as long as I’m doing what I need to do!

What is your dh doing to support you? Why is this your problem when dc are ill?

Other teachers have suggested other schools might be nicer. I was going to comment from a non/teaching perspective to say you are really in the thick of it with the ages of your children. At that age I suspect most working mothers feel like things are a bit shit.

On the plus side, you only do 3 days which is a real blessing- it’s hard to secure that in lots of other sectors and you’ll start to really benefit from school holidays soon. I wouldn’t necessarily assume grass is greener. There were definitely times when my kids were your age that I dreamed of quitting my job. Now they’re a bit older I’m glad I didn’t. My pension will be secure, I’ve got a good base to build on and have a more fulfilling job than I would have if I’d have quit.

English teaching is a killer because of the marking. I now teach online. I miss the staff room and interaction with kids in the classroom, but I've gone from working every evening and half of the weekend every week to working 9-5.