Work unsustainable (teacher) and I’m not sure what to do

[feb190225]

I work as a teacher, three days a week, and have two children aged 4 and 1 and a half. I’ve been back at work properly since the beginning of this academic year and I’m really struggling with the inflexibility of the job - I know it isn’t unique to teaching.

I am trying to work out what option is best. Leave and come back to it in a few years - but surely things won’t have improved when my children are at primary school? Look for another role - but what, and what about school holidays? Just feeling a bit lost and fed up.

Primary teacher here. Definitely tutoring! I was deputy head in a large primary school. I decided that I needed a change and opened my tutoring business. Never looked back! Zero stress, fewer hours (at £60 per hour) and nobody to answer to. I have a lovely client base and an very grateful to be doing what I do now.

This is a thing, very popular either 1:1 or in small groups

We have two teachers with small children in my dept. Between then they’ve had a lot of time off for childcare related issues over the last two years. We are very supportive and that makes it possible for them. It sounds like your school’s culture is the issue.

I'm an English teacher too. The workload is insane for us. No other subject gets hit as hard with marking.

Depending on where you are in the country, exam tutoring is big business. I'm in London and when I've tutored in the past, I asked for £100 an hour and got it, no questions asked. It's very common now for tutoring to be over zoom rather than in person, so you can fit it in around whatever else you're doing. I did a lot in the evening so it does work around kids' bedtimes.

Supply teaching is shit and I wouldn't recommend it. Friends who do it don't get much money out of it really as so many schools use cover internally now, and the agencies take a cut. You also get treated like a pariah by other teachers in the school and the kids are often feral with you because they have no relationship with you.

If you still like teaching, then as others have said, your school is unusual in its inflexibility and you will find things are better elsewhere. I'm surprised you've not found part time posts for English being advertised, as English teachers are predominantly female and so lots of mid career English teachers are part time to fit around childcare. Even if a post is advertised as full time, it's worth asking if they will offer the post as part time - many will.

I would make a shortlist of local schools you're interested in, check TES/their websites every week to see what vacancies are coming up, then get applying. Apply even if it's full time - if they love you in the interview, you can negotiate your terms. It's very much a job seeker's market at the moment in teaching, and if you're good, then you can pick and choose.

Your school is the problem here, not the job itself.

The average secondary English faculty has 18-20 teachers, 2-3 managers and over half are part time.
Not one supportive mate amongst that who give up a bit of their PPA?

Is it an academy/ MAT? Their HR can be very inflexible and corporate. My school isn't an academy. This year, I've had time off to take my husband to an important hospital appt, a funeral of a friend, and finished a bit early twice to take DD to the orthodontist. We have 4 cover teachers so there's usually availability. A colleague took a day off (unpaid) for an event abroad.
Try changing schools first. Ask around, word of mouth works well in teaching.
And sit down with your husband to talk about his responsibilities. All of the childcare can't fall to you.

Eh? It's not somebody else's pay gap, it's about to be yours as you throw away your entire career because your husband isn't an equal partner.

Speaking from experience, I'd be very hesitant about moving to supply at the moment. Pay is terrible through agencies (I was offered the same last month as I was earning as an NQT doing supply 15 years ago) and schools are trying desperately to reduce spending, so covering supply in-house and/or using unqualified cover supervisors. Working directly for schools is far better in terms of pay as they often pay to scale/M6 but not that easy to find schools receptive to it. I've done agency and direct work and there are so many days where no calls come in. Like you, I have two small children both at nursery 3 days a week, and there have been times we were not sure if I'd earn enough for us to qualify for their funded hours. My earnings didn't reach the tax threshold a couple of years ago.

Unless, of course, you teach Maths or Physics in which case you could probably do whatever you like!

it causes a huge drama at work; they do it on purpose to try to make us feel bad.
In my last school there was a system - if you were off ill, people known to be your friends were given your classes to cover. So if you weren't there, your friends were inconvenienced. It was deliberate.

No other subject gets hit as hard with marking.
Hahaha!

Not a teacher but a nurse. We have absolutely no emergency childcare during the week either and have 5 children. I actually ended up moving to unscheduled care and got a contract where I only work evenings and nightshifts. Mostly weekends too- 24hrs a week. Husband is a manager so he has more flexibility and we can work round each other. For me, working during the week is more problematic- if someone is sick, if there are school things to attend like nativities, sports days etc. and now we have since learned 2 of our children have autism and now they are a little
older, one is having issues with school avoidance. So I’m so glad I made the change to my working hours as it’s made this a little easier to manage.

I think in your situation I would maybe look at tutoring in the evenings or weekends if that would be an option?

OP it’s the school itself that’s the problem, not you.

Any mum will know that these early years are shit in terms of kids getting sick. One year when DS was 2 I wondered why I was paying nursery fees as he always sick and at home.

Id the long game here.

You’re very isolated where you are right now. It sounds like being rural you have few friends you can call on, few schools to open up other possibilities and very little in terms of a support network.

Mums like you who do it all need to be in a collective of others like you, so you can help each other.

When your kids become teens they’ll want access to shops, cinema, sports activities, fun things to do. You’ll also presumably want a good choice of secondary schools which it sounds like it’s dicey where you are.

Yes moving is expensive but I’d say you’d be much happier in a market town with quite a number of secondaries to choose from and a chance to build out your social network of support, not just for you but for your kids too.

It sounds like rightly or wrongly you’re a single mum.

Spending evenings and weekends tutoring when your own kids will need you isn’t easy. It’s disruptive and stressful. They aren’t of an age when you could do this.

Even if you get day time work tutoring, you’ll still be alone all day, no social contact with anyone. It’s not healthy long term.

Id put your foot down with DH and put your needs first. He’s not going to do it for you. They only think of themselves and their career and ‘watch me while I go out and save the world’ conveniently forgetting they’ve created two new worlds back at home plus you, that need his support but of course no one’s going to pay him or pay him on the back for that kind of work, are they?

So get selfish because I guarantee things won’t change unless you get serious about balancing things up to get you happier and where you need to be.

Right now you’re modelling your whole life around him not being there to help.

What does YOUR ideal set up look like? If he wasn’t in the picture and you had limitless money what’s your ideal set up? Maybe it is teaching part time, having coffees with friends at a playgroup and your kids with you, walking to primary school instead of driving? Look at that vision, think on it and pull back from there instead of coming at it from trying to fit into his world.

Spending evenings and weekends tutoring when your own kids will need you isn’t easy. It’s disruptive and stressful. They aren’t of an age when you could do this.
Even if you get day time work tutoring, you’ll still be alone all day, no social contact with anyone. It’s not healthy long term.

I agree with this 100%.

You can't tutor properly with young children around in your home.

I did get some work with home schooled children during the day but not enough to make it a money spinner.

You're also very much tied to school terms unless parents are happy for you to go on holiday mid-term.

For me, the downside of tutoring was the social isolation. I wish now I'd not done it for so long (15 years after moving out of schools.)

I missed the interaction of the staff room and intellectual contact.

I'm amazed at the fee for exam tutoring- £100 and hour! @EnidSpyton Is this A level or 11+ or common entrance?

Makes me half consider coming out of retirement.

I specialised in GCSE and dyslexia and when I retired from tutoring the going rate was £35ph or £40ph.

Your school are the problem here. You need to develop a thicker skin and be less accommodating of them.

If your child is sick then sort your cover then email whoever is on call and state that you have to leave due to your child, leave the class with that person and then send the email to your line manager and whoever is in charge of cover....at this point just walk out and ignore any further requests.

Do you have HR?

Oh and look for a new school.

You need to sit down with your husband and discuss what both your long term career plans are. It is not fair on you that you just have to accept that your husband cannot do any childcare. Perhaps it is him that needs to change his job? If someone has a job that will cover all their children’s holidays, it is not unreasonable to expect the other one to cover sickness. Do you really have no back up childcare? Surely a grandparent would travel down the night before in an emergency.

Some of us have no contact with our parents and some parents didn’t enjoy being parents the first time around, let alone to their little darling grandchildren.

Your own frame of reference here is unhelpful. My DF would never ever have come to help me in any situation ever. He ran in the opposite direction!

If OP says she has no childcare options then we must respect that. There is no ‘surely’ anything, possibly for her too.

@feb190225 I work 3 days as a primary teacher, with two DDs (one in Y2 and one in her last year of nursery), and it sounds like the problem is your school. Don't get me wrong, I am TIRED during term time, but it's manageable. DD1 is in wraparound care on my working days, and really enjoys it. DD2 attends nursery 3 days a week, and her nursery is open til 6. We have no family support.

My school have let me watch all my DD1s sports days and plays so far, as our SLT value the staff and are family friendly. You need to find a different school!

You could look into setting up your own tutoring business.

Oh, and DD2 recently had chickenpox, and I took 2 days off. School were absolutely fine with it. No drama at all. A school that isn't happy about stuff like this isn't worth staying at IMO.

@VindiVici

I’m in London and all of my tutees came to
me through word of mouth recommendations - I have always taught in high end independent schools, so all the parents I know are high net worth individuals. If you can get into those circles, you can name your price - but only if you’re known to deliver results, of course. I charged £100 for GCSE and £125 for A Level. I always got it. I know my stuff - I’m an examiner as well as a teacher - and I marked work and offered support in between lessons as part of the service. At one point I was earning an extra £1000 a month just doing 2 or 3 hours after work a week.

The tutoring market is flooded with university students flogging their wares for £25 an hour, so it’s not necessarily easy to get that kind of money if you’re not already plugged into those networks, but there are still parents who are prepared to pay top dollar for qualified teachers who know what they’re doing out there.

I'm reading this as two separate issues: you don't like your school and you don't have backup childcare. No matter what, the second issue is one to tackle. You work part time so can you buddy up with other part time parents to help each other out of tight spots? I did this with my school age kids, with parents of kids mine were friendly with. It won't be just you with no backup and all families need it - even if they include a SAHP.
As to the job/school - if you hate it that much look around. Is it the job? Is it the school? Or is it the stress of being back at work after ML and feeling overwhelmed (which will pass).
Good luck.

The having to sort out your own cover is mad! Also your department sound horrible. If this was my place and anyone else wasn't teaching at the time, we would be ushering the person out the door to support each other! You wouldn't even have to ask.

This sounds really difficult if your partner is away, sorry I've just read all your updates. Have you really only missed one day this year? That's absolutely nothing! Can you raise it with someone higher up at school or are they also unsupportive? I really wouldn't give up your job though if you don't want to. You also don't get a pension tutoring and if your partner is away presumably the hours you would be doing it are exactly when you are putting the kids to bed!

My dh is an early retired secondary school teacher and I never went back to whole class secondary teaching after being a sahm because my ds1 has special needs and I needed to be flexible.
Things we do now or have done:
Work teaching adults gcses and subject interest courses through our county library service a mix of online and at the library. They advertise for tutors on their website and the county council jobs email.
Supply, but didn't enjoy it.
Secondary school intervention teacher working with small groups to boost literacy/numeracy/gcse grades, self employed working directly for the academy trust who advertised on their website, indeed and tge council jobs email.
Teacher at a football academy where they do lessons in the morning, advertised on indeed.
Exam marking, apply to the exam board.
Home tuition of home educated children and school refusers , some arranged privately through advertising on local Facebook pages some through the school.

I have also set myself up as a self employed personal assistant supporting people with mental and physical disabilities with daily living and social activities. I got dbs checked and online trained through a scheme my local council runs, their Direct payments team also send clients my way. I charge up to £26 per hour (obviously that's lower than teaching but it's not a professional qualification job)depending on the level of need and as it's self employed is very flexible.

I can 100% recommend EOTAS Tutoring 👍

I currently pay £144 a half term for our middle child to attend group 11+ tutoring, it’s a group of 4 children for an hour. (Based in the South West).

Depending on your subject that is a good shout. Things like maths and English seem particularly hard to get a tutor for. I don’t pay £50 for my son’s online tutor but I probably would!

Have a look at supply teaching. This too had changed. You sre more able to call the shots ,say whst uou want a nd in some cases receive a regular wage.