I'm beginning to think that I'm so unemployable that I'll never have another job

[WhatsItWorthToYou]

Dramatic I know but I'm honestly so irritated with myself.

I'm practically unemployable. I even filled out a 'which career suits you?' type thing over on the careers website and it actually asked me if I'd completed it correctly because they could suggest precisely nothing that I was capable of doing!

Some background. I'm 53 and in full possession of my faculties. However I'm not good with computers and I'd struggle to immediately tell you the difference between Microsoft office, PowerPoint, excel and that other one. I'm absolutely fine with an iPad or iPhone however! Stick me in front of a computer? No. I've actually run away from one interview where they announced out the blue that there would 'now be a short PC test.' (True story)

I don't like to work as part of a team but will if I have to. (This is totally my problem)

I have no qualifications despite not being stupid. A few GCSEs but I didn't focus on them and just wandered out of exams. An A in English and that's about it

Didn't go to university. Tried with the OU twice but was more interested in having all the nice desk stuff and just couldn't even start the coursework. Felt so paralysed.

I've run my own company in affiliate marketing - this sounds like I may know what I was doing but my business partner (also my very good friend of 40 years) carried that one.

I'm an ideas person but need someone else to make them happen as I'm incapable of following through despite all good and genuine intentions

So work wise right now ... I'm a jack of all trades. I'm an estate agent at the weekends - easy for me as I'm out and about all the time just showing potential buyers round properties - crucially no computer work required!

I do the odd stint in retail. I have a little pet sitting business. (Yes, I pay tax)

But I'm getting to the point where this is not enough. I really want a job. A job that I'll enjoy. I could also do with the money

I'm good in interviews as I present as personable and erudite. I got a job with the police earlier this year - something I really wanted to do - but failed on Vetting (not because I'm a criminal but because my past finances are just all over the place and I have 2 CCJs from years ago)

So what can I do? I look for jobs all the time but as soon as I see the words 'familiar with all packages' I know it's a no go as the only packages I am familiar with is the ones delivered by Amazon.

On the one hand I'm really capable. My home life isn't in disarray or anything. On the other hand, I've never ever been able to hold down a job. For reasons I can't explain. And I've had some really good jobs over the years but messed them up

So is this just doomed? Do I just accept I can't work?

Sorry it's so long but any suggestions appreciated

… learn the Microsoft packages?

How did you mess up the good jobs?

Stupid question....any chance you could have ADHD. A few things you say make that sound a possibility. In which case you probably need to find one thing that play to those strengths.

@yogpot the thought of learning them makes my heart beat faster and not in a good way. I suppose there must be courses for old people like me perhaps?

How did I mess up all my previous jobs? A combination of not feeling I fit in, boredom, deciding I couldn't do the work, actually hiding all the work once (back in my 20s), feeling overwhelmed

All sorts of reasons. Mainly feeling like I'm having to put some weird mask on before going into work - I find it hard to chat 'naturally' so have to really concentrate on doing so sometimes

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky I'm not neurodiverse officially and you would never ever think it to interact with me either

Ask my family and close friends? They'll tell you I'm extremely weird indeed

ADHD oh probably. I have lots of interests that I'll spend £££ on for precisely one week and then I'm done.

Most recent being my home gym obsession. Couldn't just buy handheld weights from Argos .. no, had to have the £600 set.

Am I using my home gym?

No.

But putting aside potentially being ND, other people have amazing jobs that they apply themselves diligently to and excel in

I can't even decipher a spreadsheet

Soudns like you've got ADHD. Could you run to a private assessment? May make a huge difference.

Your can fine some free online course in IT for beginners on openclassroom

@Tubetrain I probably could, yes. What difference would knowing make to me? That's what I struggle with.

I've always been the same. Even back at primary school.

There are loads of jobs that don’t require use of a computer. Retail and hospitality come to mind, or dog walking to complement your dog sitting, learn dog grooming? Your OP sounds like you are a disgruntled teenager just realising work is not necessarily easy or fun. But you are a grown up - time to act it

Have you considered your (undiagnosed) adhd might be your reason for your urge to jump ship? Much like jumping from hobby to hobby

That really does sound like ADHD.

Diagnosis can help because you can medicate, which may allow you to focus to do stuff like learn Excel.

@Liveafr thanks, I'll check that out.

I'm so tired of temporary jobs in shops when I just know I can do something I'd really enjoy but I have no real idea what that thing is.

I got an amazing volunteering opportunity last year in a field I am really interested in. But because my background was marketing / social media they placed me in the social media team when I wanted the investigations team

And it then fell apart. I was so paralysed by the pinboard style app they used to coordinate stuff that I blocked then all and theoretically hid

@VanCleefArpels I mean, that's a fair comment. Been trying for a fair few decades now so time to really dig deep

@WhatsItWorthToYou

My ex has just been diagnosed at nearly 50. He has started on meds and said the different is massive. His mind is finally quiet.

@Icedlatteplease possibly yes. In the past I've ..

Climbed out of windows to avoid walking past reception

Just walked out

Been 5 minutes late and just resigned as I didn't want to be late and felt stressed

Not turned up

I hasten to add this isn't recent behaviour but over the years

My estate agent job suits me as I manage my diary to an extent and can do it just fine

Medicines might be transformative

@Fluffycloudsfloatinginthesky really? That's great for him.

My mind is never quiet. I talk to myself all the time and if I'm not doing that, I'm humming. In bed at night I'll sing songs to myself

I don't wish to do any of the above, btw. It's just what happens

Understanding how your brain works and then implementing plans that work for your brain type will help. You don't necessarily need to get a diagnosis to start implementing new ways that work with possible adhd I recommend reading a book called Dirty Laundry: Why Adults with ADHD Are So Ashamed and What We Can Do to Help

We're the same age and I've just received my referal letter today. The only difference is I've been fortunate enough to get qualifications but they don't help as I can't use a telephone.

Go to your local council website and look for adult skills

I work for my local council, adult education provider, and we do a computer courses from beginners up to accredited level three , for free, a couple of hours a week up to intensive fast track courses

We also do a separate classes on software packages such as excel , PowerPoint, Word, canva etc
This would improve your confidence and your employability, and frankly, your ability to interact with every essential service provider and support your financial health

But I think it can't be ADHD as I run my home with military precision! My two children are 26 and 18 and both successful - my eldest one especially. Went to uni and is now high flying in the police.

We never missed appointments or were late for school or anything like that. House always clean and immaculate. I'm not disorganised when it comes to my kids and my surroundings. I like to control them

Finances? Have been beyond awful. Work life? A write off

@whatsinanameeh I will look into that, thank you.

I can interact with people and all services btw. I'm capable of advocating both for me and for my kids )less so now as they're older!)

I'm categorically not stupid but ugh, just saying you can't turn on a computer has people thinking you're a bit hard of thinking

Yeah

The hypercontrol, might it be a form or hyperfocus perchance?

Yes, do this. My 80 year old mother is reasonably tech savvy and she learnt in the last few years. Stop making excuses.
If you want a job, you need these skills.

I understand you're not unthinking, but you're coming across as unwilling. I've had a formal education in ICT of one year of typing at school.

To progress at work, I had to sign up for excel classes , for functional skills classes. I just had to do it if I wanted to pay the bills

Unfortunately, I see many people in their 60s 70s and 80s who can't phone essential services know they only do a chat bots on their website or the local council tax is an online portal and no longer a phone number , they need to know how to view documents and upload documents etc to support applications for things

A person in their 50s incapable of basic PC functions really is someone becoming unemployable. We even have to log into an online portal to view our payslips, our pension contributions and request holiday etc. Learning computer functions for even these every day uses would really improve both your employability and your confidence

@WhatsItWorthToYou sounding even more like ADHD! I have similar issues (not to the same extent, but not far off) with work but other aspects of my life are run like a Japanese train timetable. In fact, my career was the same until it went spectacularly off the rails 😅 (in marketing too, funnily enough).