I'm beginning to think that I'm so unemployable that I'll never have another job

[WhatsItWorthToYou]

Dramatic I know but I'm honestly so irritated with myself.

I'm practically unemployable. I even filled out a 'which career suits you?' type thing over on the careers website and it actually asked me if I'd completed it correctly because they could suggest precisely nothing that I was capable of doing!

Some background. I'm 53 and in full possession of my faculties. However I'm not good with computers and I'd struggle to immediately tell you the difference between Microsoft office, PowerPoint, excel and that other one. I'm absolutely fine with an iPad or iPhone however! Stick me in front of a computer? No. I've actually run away from one interview where they announced out the blue that there would 'now be a short PC test.' (True story)

I don't like to work as part of a team but will if I have to. (This is totally my problem)

I have no qualifications despite not being stupid. A few GCSEs but I didn't focus on them and just wandered out of exams. An A in English and that's about it

Didn't go to university. Tried with the OU twice but was more interested in having all the nice desk stuff and just couldn't even start the coursework. Felt so paralysed.

I've run my own company in affiliate marketing - this sounds like I may know what I was doing but my business partner (also my very good friend of 40 years) carried that one.

I'm an ideas person but need someone else to make them happen as I'm incapable of following through despite all good and genuine intentions

So work wise right now ... I'm a jack of all trades. I'm an estate agent at the weekends - easy for me as I'm out and about all the time just showing potential buyers round properties - crucially no computer work required!

I do the odd stint in retail. I have a little pet sitting business. (Yes, I pay tax)

But I'm getting to the point where this is not enough. I really want a job. A job that I'll enjoy. I could also do with the money

I'm good in interviews as I present as personable and erudite. I got a job with the police earlier this year - something I really wanted to do - but failed on Vetting (not because I'm a criminal but because my past finances are just all over the place and I have 2 CCJs from years ago)

So what can I do? I look for jobs all the time but as soon as I see the words 'familiar with all packages' I know it's a no go as the only packages I am familiar with is the ones delivered by Amazon.

On the one hand I'm really capable. My home life isn't in disarray or anything. On the other hand, I've never ever been able to hold down a job. For reasons I can't explain. And I've had some really good jobs over the years but messed them up

So is this just doomed? Do I just accept I can't work?

Sorry it's so long but any suggestions appreciated

@whatsinanameeh yes I hear you and it makes sense

I have no problems viewing my payslip on an online portal or uploading documents online when prompted etc etc. I use online banking with ease. So I'm alright in some arenas!

Not sure about unwilling. The spirit is willing!

Sorry your op had me laughing "I even filled out a 'which career suits you?' type thing over on the careers website and it actually asked me if I'd completed it correctly because they could suggest precisely nothing that I was capable of doing!"

Basic computer skills can and in this day and age need to be learned. Get on a course!

You write well, have a good sense of humour. I can't think of a specific job, but there are life coaches who help with that sort of thing. But firstly do a basic computing course!

I have ADHD and could have written some of your post.

I’d lean in to the pet or estate agent thing - do more, take on more work, see if you can grow these. It’s on your terms, you manage your diary, and you know you can do it.

If you use online banking and such like, you can learn basic computer packages.

@icelolly12 glad that raised a smile. My husband laughed like a drain when I told him I was doing it and he enthusiastically asked 'so what does it suggest then?!' and I had to tell him that I was literally so shit, no company would touch me

It seems clear I need to do some courses so that's what I will look into in the New Year. It would be a starting point at least

It is useful to know because loads of people with similar struggles have identified strategies that help.

What you've described sounds a lot like executive function paralysis... I.e. you're dynamic and can get on with a task when it's in front of you (show you the rabbit so to speak), but faced with multiple tasks, too many moving parts (colleagues can cause these!) or tasks which require multiple steps requiring various mental stages and bzzftxxktzyvv...

But, there are various strategies that can assist and get you past that and moving again (or able to face it and get moving), I'm just discovering this myself!

You def sound adhd - I'm late 50s diagnosed few years back now.
You prob need a job with

• unpredictability and high stakes, not repetitious processes
• win/lose clear success signifiers
• a lot of agency
• working with people where you role is incredibly clear and has authority so an expert or negotiator rather than seller or carer
• your style of personable, honest, direct communication is a value-add
• your own work hours rather than 9 to 5

So ... 999 call handler? mortician? Celebrant? Death doula? Sommelier? Location finder?

Sounds to me from your post you're looking for stability and structure and better money, in your life, and hoping one job will deliver it all. I wonder if you could find those things more easily by making a range of different changes. Good luck. Medication helps. I bet you have a favourite tea spoon, constantly fidget/play with your hair/pick your feet, and really struggle to get to sleep. Oh and you probably love seeing friends and are a great social presence then have to stay at home in peace for many days to recover.

I would say that ADHD seemed very likely from what you've said, too.

Could you take the estate agent bit full-time? It sounds like the variety of different houses might suit you, plus not needing too much IT knowledge?

You're not unemployable, you have three jobs already, and a past business, that's pretty good! You're an ideas person, great 1:1 and personable. Yes, you are avoiding computers like the plague, probably because you find that difficult, effortful and boring possibly because of neurodiversity (any dyslexia or dyscalculia to add to your Mumsnet diagnoses 😁). But actually you can use modern tech just fine.
You could be good front of house, sales, events, travel.

I hate when people throw around oh it's ND...

But yes you actually do sound ND 😁

I've got it too but I've read many stories like yours. Many, many interests with lots of money that gets spent on then abandoned. In and out of jobs until you find one that excites your brain enough.
Problems with money. Have a google of the ADHD tax!

Sometimes I think I'm a bit of an anomaly as I've held my job down for nearly 20 years but it does interest me. Not that I don't have issues.

Can you do a short basic computer course at a local college or something

Actually I'm sure you would be a good estate agent - but see you are already doing it !! If you enjoy it why not stay doing that ?

You’ve got ADHD. You need a job with a lot of daily variety. Can you not go full time with estate agency?

Damn you're married! I was going to say could you marry well so you don't need to worry about working?

@wizzywig ha! Yes I've been married 10 years to the world's most patient man. He's perfect for me as he gives me the time I need to be on my own (I do not get energy from other people!) and he's very calming.

Everyone likes my husband. He's popular with everyone, has an amazing job that he excels at, and he's lovely to boot.

I literally have no idea what the poor man sees in me 😹

I run my own business, I don't use a computer at all for that save for ordering stuff and answering emails - the rest is resolutely manual, I have Kalamazoo ledgers and ring binders for accounts and a lovely old Underwood touch master typewriter for invoices and forms - all runs like clockwork!

Go back to being self employed and non digital.

Full time at the EA doesn't work unfortunately- and not just because I'd have to Do Computer Things. It's a small family owned business and they don't need an admin type person along with their negotiator and valuer. I have my own role which sometimes results in extra work but this is dependant on how the market is going

I've had lots of jobs, all different because I get bored, then I leave and get another.
I recently moved so had to leave my Phlebotomy job. I'm now a mobile cleaner. I love it!
I get to put my headphones on and blitz student houses, no need to see or speak to people.
I am very sociable, it just has to be on my terms.
The pay isn't great and it's tiring but it’s far more rewarding than any other job I've had.
Yes I am as weird as I sound.

@Lavenderblossoms yeah that's me. My family particularly enjoy asking me 'how's the doll house going?' after a recent foray into that.

And couldn't just buy a dolls house though. Had to be an antique one which I then had to source antique furniture for.

Cost a fortune and I lost interest after 3 weeks

Since being on MN, I've recognised a lot of my own traits. Childhood 'quirks' I think now may be flagged in children. I, too, hold down jobs, but it's more about inertia to try to do something else and a dose of imposter syndrome.
My own mother says I never grew up. I'm Late 50s.

We must have been separated at birth....I was diagnosed last year at age 57, declined medication but just wanted validation of what I already know. My daughter and son, 26 and 34 are also mid-diag.

I'm actually OK with IT as long as I have 97 other windows open at the same time and can flit between them ;-)

Focus on what you enjoy doing and try to build on it, the pet sitting is definitely worth investing in . I do this myself on top of my full time job and running a sideline business...I literally can't do just one thing 😀
Would you consider Dog Walking ? My friend quit a career as a scientist to run a dog walking business and she is making a really good living from it, you'd need a van though.

@Fuckmyliferightnow sounds like that's suiting you brilliantly!

I wish i did but I don't fancy being a cleaner. I do my own house and I do my daughters when she's snowed under with work but that's all I want to do.

I still harbour ideas of having some amazing job which is interesting and useful and that I actively want to do

What with not being able to tell the difference between office and excel, it's looking increasingly unlikely

round Here it’s £15 for a 30 min dog walk so not too bad if you can build up your client base

@YourAzureEagle that sounds so cool! I'm picturing you in a Georgian house, sealing your letters with red wax and your own personal intaglio

Don't ruin this image now!

@WhatsItWorthToYou
Your descriptions sound delightful :) though not necessarily in a good way...

I've eventually gotten diagnosed with ADHD - and yes I'm so very scattered.

I do have some of the computer skills you're referring to, and managed to hold down a good job. Maybe I could give you a hand?
I'm amazed that you're organised and organised your DC as well. I literally sabotage myself constantly:(