I'm beginning to think that I'm so unemployable that I'll never have another job

[WhatsItWorthToYou]

Dramatic I know but I'm honestly so irritated with myself.

I'm practically unemployable. I even filled out a 'which career suits you?' type thing over on the careers website and it actually asked me if I'd completed it correctly because they could suggest precisely nothing that I was capable of doing!

Some background. I'm 53 and in full possession of my faculties. However I'm not good with computers and I'd struggle to immediately tell you the difference between Microsoft office, PowerPoint, excel and that other one. I'm absolutely fine with an iPad or iPhone however! Stick me in front of a computer? No. I've actually run away from one interview where they announced out the blue that there would 'now be a short PC test.' (True story)

I don't like to work as part of a team but will if I have to. (This is totally my problem)

I have no qualifications despite not being stupid. A few GCSEs but I didn't focus on them and just wandered out of exams. An A in English and that's about it

Didn't go to university. Tried with the OU twice but was more interested in having all the nice desk stuff and just couldn't even start the coursework. Felt so paralysed.

I've run my own company in affiliate marketing - this sounds like I may know what I was doing but my business partner (also my very good friend of 40 years) carried that one.

I'm an ideas person but need someone else to make them happen as I'm incapable of following through despite all good and genuine intentions

So work wise right now ... I'm a jack of all trades. I'm an estate agent at the weekends - easy for me as I'm out and about all the time just showing potential buyers round properties - crucially no computer work required!

I do the odd stint in retail. I have a little pet sitting business. (Yes, I pay tax)

But I'm getting to the point where this is not enough. I really want a job. A job that I'll enjoy. I could also do with the money

I'm good in interviews as I present as personable and erudite. I got a job with the police earlier this year - something I really wanted to do - but failed on Vetting (not because I'm a criminal but because my past finances are just all over the place and I have 2 CCJs from years ago)

So what can I do? I look for jobs all the time but as soon as I see the words 'familiar with all packages' I know it's a no go as the only packages I am familiar with is the ones delivered by Amazon.

On the one hand I'm really capable. My home life isn't in disarray or anything. On the other hand, I've never ever been able to hold down a job. For reasons I can't explain. And I've had some really good jobs over the years but messed them up

So is this just doomed? Do I just accept I can't work?

Sorry it's so long but any suggestions appreciated

An ideas person rings alarm bells for me. Ideas are a dime a dozen!

But it sounds like you might be very good at sales, which can be lucrative.

From one adhd person to another - I own a business but have to surround myself by highly organised and efficient people.

I could walk dogs potentially. I've considered it.

I have had my cat clients for quite a few years now but I only have half a dozen. I also have one dog client - I look after her dog from time to time.

So I could expand on this. Not sure how but I could look into it

@ACatNamedRobin deal. I'll tell you the secrets of running a highly effective organised home and you can tell me how you hold down a job.

I've always been ridiculous with the kids. I pre-empt everything! From fresh water jugs by their bed to electric blankets turned on before bed to clothes hung in order for the week and bedrooms hoovered every day - all sorts over the years.

Im the first person they'll call with any problem at all because there's nothing I can't sort out for them. That's what they both say.

So that's why I've always believed I cannot have ADHD because I'm quite effective at home

You'll definitely need a van, PL insurance , your marketing skills will be very handy to promote the business too. My friend has more enquiries than she can manage, does 3 walks a day with up to 6 dogs plus dog sitting and has gone down the training/behaviourist route too but has gone to Dog College for this.
It's definitely worth exploring x

If you’re good at Sorting Shit Out what about going into lettings? Yes some computer work but you can learn it and lots of systems are great at prompting you for the information it wants. Or go and work for a different EA, sounds like you’d be good in a valuer as it’s much more about people and relationships and everywhere I’ve worked has just accepted the valuer will be shite at admin so the expectations aren’t high on that front 😁

Sign up to classes in your area to learn about word processing, spreadsheets etc. I did. Made such a difference to the jobs I could do

Why not just do estate agent stuff full time? Make lots of money.

Not really, a 1960's house, with 1960's furniture, most of the business forms are NCR (no carbon required) so straight in the typewriter, copy to customer, copy to file, accounts written into the ledger - I do have sealing wax in the drawer though.

If its a fancy letter I have letterpress printed headings and carbon paper (that has a lovely smell) for the file copies.

@WhatsItWorthToYou I think you should be a columnist! You have such a great witty writing style.

I agree with others that an ADHD assessment might be helpful if you are happy to do it. Many of the things you’ve said sound exactly the same as a friend of mine who has recently been diagnosed in her late 30s. She is an incredible ideas person and very creative and works as a florist (which can be a tough industry and job but she loves it).

I would also say maybe don’t be too hard on yourself, you are technically still working now after all and while exploring jobs all the time and that’s not an easy thing to do 💐

@Flyhigher I can't go full time at the estate agents for various boring reasons so Saturdays it is for now

Now I am ADHD and Im the opposite, well kind off

My work space is work is spotless, home is hygienic , but theres stuff in homes and that stuff overwhelms me

Im never late, never have been.

I do however tend to leave everything to the last minute and have to rush, if I need an hour, Ill leave it to 30 mins - and still be on time

I cant do office work, just nope, hate it with a passion. Ive done it, moved up the ladder, but hated every bloody minute of it and became depressed

Ive always been a people person so for me my strenghts have been in hospitality, and my best ever job - market research field worker

That one was ideal for me, sorted out my own time table, no need to learn complex programmes, just needed to know how to bring them up, fill in the fields and press send, worked alone, just had to meet targets

I also happen to be a very competent cook, so thats what Im doing now - again. Now Im the only cook ( small kitchen 6 half days ) so Im my own boss and again, I sort my own timetable, and as long as theres a profit - left to my own devices

I was pushed into office work and "starting a career" where as Im best suited working alone beating my own drum

Op, I feel like you’re telling my story! I HATE computers despite working in admin for years (where I constantly messed stuff up and had to have loads of help) and using computers to promote and write my books. I think if you’re not that way inclined chances are small it’ll happen (I did two IT courses to try to bring me up to speed and scraped through, at the end of the second one the teacher said I should perhaps stay away from excel and get more help with PowerPoint. He seemed perplexed!!). My worst job was in a call Center where I couldn’t figure anything out and didn’t even get through the training. Can’t advise you- just solidarity

Does your local library have training sessions that are free?

I think even though you're great on Apple products- a lot of businesses use Microsoft and teams nowadays.

Could you do volunteer work to begin with to gain experience in computer systems?

Not a lost cause at all OP! It may just take some time for you to gain confidence with some aspects of technology.

Forgive my ignorance op but how did you work in marketing and not be able to cope with Microsoft office? Can you use the word processor /email ok and it’s just spreadsheets you can’t do?

@stayathomer thanks for the solidarity - and also for the memory (long buried) of when I also worked in a call centre!

On my first day, the very exciting 'win £100' staff incentive was explained to me. It was some huge great big graph thing on the wall covered in small numbered squares and if you hit a particular target, you got to choose a square which was peeled off and it would be revealed if you were the winner

No one had won in the few months it had been going on for

Anyway, I was rubbish. Hit one target that day, got to peel off a square and well, if only won hadn't I? Which made everyone really hate me.

The afternoon rolled around and I grew bored so spent a few hours calling the speaking clock / horoscopes line / some weird dating thing (as you can tell, this was before mobile phones!)

End of the day, called into the big boss's office - he was sat there with some telephone print out of all the calls I'd made. I just said 'I'll get my coat but can I have my £100 prize?'

Answer was no

@aodirjjd your ignorance is forgiven as it's understandable.

Not only did I work in affiliate marketing but I was very successful in my particular field. Successful to the point that if you have an interest in my genre you'd have heard of me. But only successful because I have the ideas and my long suffering business partner has to make them happen.

I still do affiliate marketing now and again. Brands pay me to promote to a certain audience I have - I find that easy.

@aodirjjd and I should add that I have never worked in marketing for anyone else! Just myself.

That way, nobody sees behind the scenes as I present a professional and calm exterior

You just need an assistant.

I will tell something that might help because it's not normally explained.

Microsoft Office is the name for the collection of applications that are needed in an office.
It includes:
Word - for writing shit down. Notes, letters, contracts - all the important writing shit down.
Excel - for working out numbers and shit. Spreadsheets, calculations, money, maths. Don't use it for important shit like reporting accounts but do use it for working out why the accounts say what they say.
PowerPoint - for talking about shit and making shit look pretty, particularly if you're worried about what it actually says. Usually used for making presentations to other people.
Outlook - email shit for sending messages to other people and getting newsletters.
Teams for video meetings to talk about shit. Also for instant messaging your colleagues to chat shit without anyone knowing or to chat shit during a Teams meeting .
Forms - for creating surveys to ask people about shit. Quite good as it automatically analyses the shit that people write that you would otherwise need to use Excel to do for you.
Access - database to analyse shit without making mistakes. It's generally shit and a good company will use a different software if they have any sense.
OneNote - for writing shit down and taking notes, particularly during meetings about shit.
OneDrive - for storing all your own files of any type so all your shit is in the same place and can be looked at wherever you are.
SharePoint - for storing all the company's documents so all of the company's shit is in one place and can be looked at by everyone in the company who needs to look at it.
Microsoft 365 - fancy name for Microsoft Office but you pay a regular amount a year to access it, rather than a one-off fortune.
Defender - actually quite a good anti-virus and anti-malware software to make sure your shit isn't compromised by someone else's shit.

There are other apps, but not all are widely used.

@MyrtleStrumpet that's so genius and helpful to me that I've copied and pasted it into my Notes app on my phone! (Something I can manage)

Thanks so much - that sort of thing speaks to me

May I ask are you in a position where you need to support yourself? You seem to be anti solutions. I think the gp is the best place to start. Medicine may make a wonderful difference. There's no shame in it. But it seems like you don't really need or want a job.

@NiftyKoala do I need to support myself? As in, earn money? Yes. I do OK but I'd like to earn more and I'd like a job that feels worthwhile and that I feel I'm good at and crucially - that I can do.

I'm not anti-solutions - quite the opposite. But I can see why you might think I am

A close family member went thru something very similar. With counseling and medication he has the first job of his life, at 46. The difference in the pride he has in himself is amazing. He lost so many years. It might work for you or not work for you but you won't know unless you try. I hope you do. After struggling so long dont you think you deserve it? Because you do.

Bless you! Microsoft is so ubiquitous that a lot of people forget that not everyone knows which application is used for which function. It helps to know what they all do because then you can stop worrying about the bits you don't need.

And talking about it as getting shit done rather than describing each complicated function makes it easier to remember x

It really does sound like you may have ADHD (it’s rife in my family, inc myself and kids) and possibly dyscalculia (sort of a numbers version of dyslexia).

Knowing means you can have support - there are medications that help with the ADHD (I LOVE ritalin, until I tried it, aged 54, I had no idea what clarity and ‘normal’ felt like) and there are loads of apps and training courses you can go on that will support the dyscalculia, as well as ‘get back into employment’ schemes that specifically support ND people and match them to empathetic and supportive employers… so it’s never too late to ‘know’.

This is so useful! I also work in marketing, have done for many years, and I still find your list useful!