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Original poster

Husband applying for jobs abroad and not sure what I would do?

82 replies

boymama55 · 09/12/2024 19:45

We’ve spoken on and off about potentially moving abroad for financial reasons as well as trying to achieve more of a work life balance for us as a family. I have 3.5 y/o and a just turned 2 y/o. We currently live in a 2 bed mid terrace and 2 years into a 5 year mortgage. Our oldest will start school next September and our youngest would qualify for 30 free hours from Jan 2026. We currently have no real savings, as everything has been going on raising 2 babies and childcare with any spare cash going on house maintenance.

We currently pay £700 on our mortgage - £500 of which is interest (🤯). My husband has been a teacher in private schools for over 10 years and I was in luxury retail management but after our second baby I decided to move to a ‘non career’ 9-5 admin job and currently work 4 days a week.

My husband finally started applying for jobs last month (he’s been wanting to move jobs for several years now) and had his first interview today for an international school in Thailand on the outskirts of Bangkok. We don’t know what the salary would be yet but from what was discussed today, they seemed to think we would be comfortable enough on just my husband’s wage whilst I worked out what I may do after we arrived and were settled. I doubt he would accept if offering less than what he was on now (£38k). The package seems pretty good - full free places for both children (would start next September) , healthcare for all of us, free accommodation whilst we got settled (v.small for a family of 4) and then housing allowance once we found something more permanent. I would be on a spouse visa and not sure how easy it would be to get a job that’s within my skill set that would be sponsored/provide a work permit. I would only want to earn enough to be able to contribute half towards bills, travel in the holidays and have my own money (we’ve always had a joint account that bills go out of and our own personal money for personal spending which works for us).

just wondering if anyone had experience of moving abroad with young children and or being a trailing spouse or knows of anyone that has and how did it pan out? I just feel a little uneasy moving somewhere that I might not be able to work at all. He’s also been looking at jobs in Brazil, Dubai and Singapore which I think wouldn’t be as tricky to get work if not specialised.

If we did end up moving abroad we would most likely rent out our house which would pay off our monthly mortgage and hopefully put us in a position where we could start making overpayments to ensure we were paid up ahead of retirement.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 09/12/2024 19:50

I would not be moving to Thailand with two small children, no

Original poster
boymama55 · 09/12/2024 19:55

Ohh, why not? Sorry just genuinely interested to understand your point of view

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 09/12/2024 19:57

This would not be for me at all. Have you and DH visited any of these countries (pre-kids maybe?) Do you have local support networks - family and friends nearby to socialise with and to help out if needed? You'd be starting from zero in a country where you don't speak the language (I assume neither of you speak Thai! or Portuguese etc etc). What would you do with your time while the kids are at school/preschool if you don't work?

coxesorangepippin · 09/12/2024 19:59

It's not a particularly safe place?

You'd find it difficult to get a job?

The language???!

AnotherEmma · 09/12/2024 20:00

There is a board for living overseas - have a read of some of those threads and maybe start a thread there (or get this one moved)?

www.mumsnet.com/talk/living_overseas

Original poster
boymama55 · 09/12/2024 20:02

Ahh thank you so much - I was struggling to find one!

OP posts:
BodyKeepingScore · 09/12/2024 20:03

This is absolutely not somewhere I'd move with young children at all. Is there a reason it was a location you're interested in?

Limmers14 · 09/12/2024 20:08

Bangkok can be a rather intense city but I would 100% recommend taking this leap! My brother in law and his wife moved to Singapore a few years ago. He was a secondary teacher in a state school. They moved there with their two little girls and they are THRIVING. They have a 3 bed apartment paid for by the international school and some home help. His wife didn’t get a job for the first year but they decided to stay longer and she now also works at the school in a support role.

A friend also lives in Kathmandu and got the job through COBIS. Again, all her accommodation is paid for and she has a great quality of life. Nepal is probably for the more adventurous.

You need to do careful research but there are so many opportunities for teachers abroad where they are well respected.

Anewuser · 09/12/2024 20:10

Sounds like a pipe dream to me.

Surely, he won’t earn anywhere near that? A quick google seems to suggest he’ll earn about £1600 per month.

Maybe he should have taught abroad before he got married and had children. Those countries don’t scream the most family friendly countries you can think of.

pinkyredrose · 09/12/2024 20:12

coxesorangepippin · 09/12/2024 19:50

I would not be moving to Thailand with two small children, no

Why? It's no less safe than the UK.

Precipice · 09/12/2024 20:13

they seemed to think we would be comfortable enough on just my husband’s wage whilst I worked out what I may do after we arrived and were settled.

Don't throw away your own work, future pension and financial independence in this way. That holds even if you perceive your job as a 'non career' admin job.

Challas · 09/12/2024 20:16

If your relationship is solid and you're well travelled already then I'd go. Your quality of life would be much better. Rent out your UK house and factor in the estate agents managing it for you.

Whatanidiot123 · 09/12/2024 20:17

Someone I know has moved to Vietnam with three small children to teach. Looks amazing tbh, but I’d say you have got to be pretty adventurous to handle it judging by their updates. And comfortable with the risk of more serious illnesses than were typically used to!

Tristanthebrave · 09/12/2024 20:19

pinkyredrose · 09/12/2024 20:12

Why? It's no less safe than the UK.

Show quote history

I’d have thought it was more safe if anything.

Skipthisbit · 09/12/2024 20:20

I am the (now adult) child of parents who took the plunge and moved abroad when I was a toddler. An absolutely life changing amazing experience that taught me so much. Growing up going to an international school with every nationality going, learning a language and a culture so totally different to the one we eventually (reluctantly) came back to.

And as a teacher ….. the opportunity to be respected and actually teach rather than be the whipping boy for societies ills and overindulged children, entitled parents and a govt the literally couldn’t give a fuck as long as they can close down all the nasty private schools. Go …. What an adventure!

Yuja · 09/12/2024 20:23

I taught abroad until my kids were 7 and 9 - was an incredible experience for me, my husband and my DC and I would encourage you to go in a heartbeat. I was elsewhere in SE Asia but not sure why people are being discouraging about Thailand - some of the international schools are amazing and you would have a lovely time. You should go if he gets a decent package.

Bluejacket · 09/12/2024 20:24

boymama55 · 09/12/2024 19:45

We’ve spoken on and off about potentially moving abroad for financial reasons as well as trying to achieve more of a work life balance for us as a family. I have 3.5 y/o and a just turned 2 y/o. We currently live in a 2 bed mid terrace and 2 years into a 5 year mortgage. Our oldest will start school next September and our youngest would qualify for 30 free hours from Jan 2026. We currently have no real savings, as everything has been going on raising 2 babies and childcare with any spare cash going on house maintenance.

We currently pay £700 on our mortgage - £500 of which is interest (🤯). My husband has been a teacher in private schools for over 10 years and I was in luxury retail management but after our second baby I decided to move to a ‘non career’ 9-5 admin job and currently work 4 days a week.

My husband finally started applying for jobs last month (he’s been wanting to move jobs for several years now) and had his first interview today for an international school in Thailand on the outskirts of Bangkok. We don’t know what the salary would be yet but from what was discussed today, they seemed to think we would be comfortable enough on just my husband’s wage whilst I worked out what I may do after we arrived and were settled. I doubt he would accept if offering less than what he was on now (£38k). The package seems pretty good - full free places for both children (would start next September) , healthcare for all of us, free accommodation whilst we got settled (v.small for a family of 4) and then housing allowance once we found something more permanent. I would be on a spouse visa and not sure how easy it would be to get a job that’s within my skill set that would be sponsored/provide a work permit. I would only want to earn enough to be able to contribute half towards bills, travel in the holidays and have my own money (we’ve always had a joint account that bills go out of and our own personal money for personal spending which works for us).

just wondering if anyone had experience of moving abroad with young children and or being a trailing spouse or knows of anyone that has and how did it pan out? I just feel a little uneasy moving somewhere that I might not be able to work at all. He’s also been looking at jobs in Brazil, Dubai and Singapore which I think wouldn’t be as tricky to get work if not specialised.

If we did end up moving abroad we would most likely rent out our house which would pay off our monthly mortgage and hopefully put us in a position where we could start making overpayments to ensure we were paid up ahead of retirement.

Go for it!!! It will be a life enhancing experience. I haven’t been to Thailand or Brazil so have no practical advice to offer. Singapore can be exceedingly hot/humid. Dubai is not a very nice place to be, I am pretty sure Thailand would be more interesting.
Hope you get some decent advice and good luck.

Yuja · 09/12/2024 20:25

Oh and a decent package is free school places, generous housing allowance and medical for the whole family.

Yikesthathurt · 09/12/2024 20:26

Anewuser · 09/12/2024 20:10

Sounds like a pipe dream to me.

Surely, he won’t earn anywhere near that? A quick google seems to suggest he’ll earn about £1600 per month.

Maybe he should have taught abroad before he got married and had children. Those countries don’t scream the most family friendly countries you can think of.

I thought Thailand had a very good family vibe, they welcome children.

StartupRepair · 09/12/2024 20:27

There is a large expat community in Bangkok..it is a big intense city but it would be a lot of fun. I would go for it if the package is enough for you to save and enjoy the lifestyle. Check if your visa would enable you to work. If not there is no shortage of opportunities to volunteer. International schools are interesting environments. Lots of turnover every year as expat families usually only stay a few years.

WhichEllie · 09/12/2024 20:28

coxesorangepippin · 09/12/2024 19:50

I would not be moving to Thailand with two small children, no

This. And I certainly wouldn’t be moving to Brazil, Dubai, or Singapore with them either.

Winter2020 · 09/12/2024 20:29

If you rent your house out you will need to use the non resident landlord scheme - your tenant or agent pays tax direct to the government regularly.

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/paying-tax-on-rent-to-landlords-abroad

Husband applying for jobs abroad and not sure what I would do?
Husband applying for jobs abroad and not sure what I would do?
Pipconkermash · 09/12/2024 20:29

Jesus no. Just, no. He’d move for a little more than £38k? Christ. No.

Bobbie12345 · 09/12/2024 20:30

I think it sounds pretty amazing.
A couple of thoughts would be,

  1. make it a completely joint bank account. Ditch your individual accounts. This is a family adventure. You both have an equal share in any money that can be spent on luxuries.
  2. set up a monthly payement from that joint account into a pension fund for you. Good luck and have fun if you decide to go for it.
CargoPlane · 09/12/2024 20:31

coxesorangepippin · 09/12/2024 19:59

It's not a particularly safe place?

You'd find it difficult to get a job?

The language???!

Have you been?