Husband applying for jobs abroad and not sure what I would do?

[boymama55]

We’ve spoken on and off about potentially moving abroad for financial reasons as well as trying to achieve more of a work life balance for us as a family. I have 3.5 y/o and a just turned 2 y/o. We currently live in a 2 bed mid terrace and 2 years into a 5 year mortgage. Our oldest will start school next September and our youngest would qualify for 30 free hours from Jan 2026. We currently have no real savings, as everything has been going on raising 2 babies and childcare with any spare cash going on house maintenance.

We currently pay £700 on our mortgage - £500 of which is interest (🤯). My husband has been a teacher in private schools for over 10 years and I was in luxury retail management but after our second baby I decided to move to a ‘non career’ 9-5 admin job and currently work 4 days a week.

My husband finally started applying for jobs last month (he’s been wanting to move jobs for several years now) and had his first interview today for an international school in Thailand on the outskirts of Bangkok. We don’t know what the salary would be yet but from what was discussed today, they seemed to think we would be comfortable enough on just my husband’s wage whilst I worked out what I may do after we arrived and were settled. I doubt he would accept if offering less than what he was on now (£38k). The package seems pretty good - full free places for both children (would start next September) , healthcare for all of us, free accommodation whilst we got settled (v.small for a family of 4) and then housing allowance once we found something more permanent. I would be on a spouse visa and not sure how easy it would be to get a job that’s within my skill set that would be sponsored/provide a work permit. I would only want to earn enough to be able to contribute half towards bills, travel in the holidays and have my own money (we’ve always had a joint account that bills go out of and our own personal money for personal spending which works for us).

just wondering if anyone had experience of moving abroad with young children and or being a trailing spouse or knows of anyone that has and how did it pan out? I just feel a little uneasy moving somewhere that I might not be able to work at all. He’s also been looking at jobs in Brazil, Dubai and Singapore which I think wouldn’t be as tricky to get work if not specialised.

If we did end up moving abroad we would most likely rent out our house which would pay off our monthly mortgage and hopefully put us in a position where we could start making overpayments to ensure we were paid up ahead of retirement.

Bobbie is Bob on imo!

I think the package can be pretty competitive for some international state schools (not all). That would be the deal breaker. Our mortgage would be paying it self. Before we got access to free hours we were paying over £1k a month on nursery fees and that was only for 3 days. Even when my oldest starts school next year he would have to go into breakfast and after school club which would cost us £300 a month. And the same again when our youngest starts school - so £600 a month just on clubs as I can’t afford to drop my hours to fit around pick ups/drop offs. Their education would be completely free as part of the package. It wouldn’t be forever, we’re thinking 5 years max atm whilst they are still young and before secondary school.

Thailand is fine to move to and Bangkok has a good level of healthcare.

Which of the listed countries would your husband need permission from his employer to leave? Some countries require exit visas to be issued with the employer's agreement. If so, do they have any say over spouse & dependents' visas? Also, can your DH legally switch jobs or would he be bound to one place?

Weird responses and you’d be better off posting in Living Overseas tbh.

I would move pretty much anywhere with young kids, apart from actual war zones - it’s an easy time to do it! It doesn’t have to be about making loadsa money, we spent time in Southern Africa when the kids were small working in healthcare, we rented out our house in the uk which covered the mortgage & earned well enough to eat out, have weekends away in country etc but not to save against, but we knew that & wanted the experience.

?

Thailand is really family friendly.

I have lived abroad (mostly China and Eastern Europe) for work before, but I don't have children, so less to worry about and I was more flexible. I've met lots of "expat wives" who seemed to hate it there, mostly because they were bored and lived in "stand by mode" (one of them actually described it like that) while my male colleagues, their husbands, were thriving and living their best life.

If you do go for it, then make sure that you have a clear plan of how you want your own life to be like - over there but also when you'll eventually return, because you'll find it hard to land on your feet back home after sort of drifting along for a decade.

Thailand can be great but also awful, it very much depends on where you live. Singapore is amazing, but very expensive and insular, so you'll never feel at home. I wouldn't recommend Brasil with young children. Never been to the other countries you mention.

The salary as a teacher will be good for Thailand, but would not translate into anywhere near 38k

And just to add to this PP's point, chasing the same salary is somewhat daft. They are different countries - the package is different, the working environment is different, the cost of living is different.

Thailand (Bangkok) is definitely not a hardship posting and working in the international school teaching sector is a well trodden path- my friend and his wife taught in the international school in Pataya for years and absolutely loved it- he had 2 kids while he was there and they had a great quality of life. You just need to really kick the tyres on the package and the school- ideally he wants to be teaching in an established non-profit school. Really try to speak to other teachers who work there before accepting.

What do you currently do for work? School support staff roles come up fairly often but might not be brilliantly well paid.

Could also look at Singapore and Hong Kong - Hong Kong less popular now due to the political changes but very good salaries in the well established schools which are kind of immune from the curriculum changes beyond a bit of lip service - look at Kellett and ESF.

Thailand might be good and the money will go far there, but I wouldn’t live in Dubai despite the higher wages.

If you read up on Detained in Dubai you’ll see some westerners are treated very poorly there and face trumped up charges for minor offences.

And before anyone says it - yes I know westerners aren’t treated half as badly as the Asians and Africans there, but just looking at it from the perspective of a British person wanting to move there.

I grew up with parents living and working abroad and have worked and lived abroad myself, although not with children.

Maybe do a TEFL or similar first as you can pretty much always find work teaching English. I taught business people which was low stress compared to children! It only takes a month to get a qualification.

Bangkok has a great expat community and is an excellent base for visiting other parts of SE Asia. You're best off going when the children are young. Most friends move back before they hit secondary for various reasons.

Actually there's no point in paying into a UK pension if you are not UK resident as there is no tax advantage so you're just tying up savings unnecessarily. Also don't qualify to pay into an ISA. So by all means save but don't onshore it because you'll pay UK tax for no reason- open an HSBC jersey account or something.

What does this mean for your children’s future? Will they grow up in a country they don’t have the right to remain in as adults? If you are planning to come back at some point, what will the transition look like for them in terms of education? Will they face any barriers accessing a uk university education or nhs services if they want to return.

this is your adventure, but it is their future. You need to think about now and 15-20 years from now.

The people I know who have done this have found coming back to the UK really hard. They loved their lifestyle, and the quality of education for their kids.

one family I know came back, did a year here and then left again .

their kids play a grand piano in their lessons.
and an orchestra plays for their ballet classes

I’m planning a move to Thailand when mine are a bit older (currently one is still a bump) so I’m biased …. But I wonder if their digital visa might work better? That’s what I plan on travelling on. Might give you a bit more flexibility for employment if you can find suitable work.

i have gone briefly as an ‘appendage’ to my ex (to a different country) and found it incredibly hard . I’ve always worked and suddenly finding myself a housewife was a big transition especially when everyone else was in careers they loved and had travelled o/s. Having said that , I imagine it would’ve been different if I’d had my children at that point as I’d have a bit more purpose to my days than endless job applications and cleaning the house. Id also have had more ‘in’ for making friends .

Depends which school. Thailand has a lot of "international" schools because a lot of thai parents prefer their children to be taught by native (white) English speakers. So if he's applying to one of these rather than the sister school of one of the big private schools here then the education and experience won't be brilliant.

I once shagged knew someone who had a teaching career in Thailand, and I also had a friend who went out there with a young baby and a working partner. I thought it sounded wonderful in both cases.

If this had come completely out of the blue I might say differently but you've been thinking about something like this for a while. I'm not a very internationally focused person but I would 100% jump at this. I think it's something you'd regret not doing tbh.

Is it Patana school? Friends did this with young children and it looked amazing - great life style, large social life through the school and travel opportunities all over Asia. It could be an amazing experience for you all.

I would not be moving to Thailand with two small children, no

Why? It's no less safe than the UK

^

I don't live in the UK

No, it’s the Kensington international school

Ahh okay, thank you that is good to know. It’s the Kensington international school

Yep just stay in your little town and never go anywhere. I know people who have lived/are living a great life in all these places. They have all thrived.

Bangkok and Singapore both amazing places to live with a family. I’d do it! I don’t like Dubai and never been to Brazil, but I’d love to go back to SE Asia. My fs purity part of the world. International schools can be wonderful communities to live and work in.

@Bobbie12345 The PP that quoted you was agreeing with you 😆

They were saying ‘bob on’ as in ‘spot on’.