Husband applying for jobs abroad and not sure what I would do?

[boymama55]

We’ve spoken on and off about potentially moving abroad for financial reasons as well as trying to achieve more of a work life balance for us as a family. I have 3.5 y/o and a just turned 2 y/o. We currently live in a 2 bed mid terrace and 2 years into a 5 year mortgage. Our oldest will start school next September and our youngest would qualify for 30 free hours from Jan 2026. We currently have no real savings, as everything has been going on raising 2 babies and childcare with any spare cash going on house maintenance.

We currently pay £700 on our mortgage - £500 of which is interest (🤯). My husband has been a teacher in private schools for over 10 years and I was in luxury retail management but after our second baby I decided to move to a ‘non career’ 9-5 admin job and currently work 4 days a week.

My husband finally started applying for jobs last month (he’s been wanting to move jobs for several years now) and had his first interview today for an international school in Thailand on the outskirts of Bangkok. We don’t know what the salary would be yet but from what was discussed today, they seemed to think we would be comfortable enough on just my husband’s wage whilst I worked out what I may do after we arrived and were settled. I doubt he would accept if offering less than what he was on now (£38k). The package seems pretty good - full free places for both children (would start next September) , healthcare for all of us, free accommodation whilst we got settled (v.small for a family of 4) and then housing allowance once we found something more permanent. I would be on a spouse visa and not sure how easy it would be to get a job that’s within my skill set that would be sponsored/provide a work permit. I would only want to earn enough to be able to contribute half towards bills, travel in the holidays and have my own money (we’ve always had a joint account that bills go out of and our own personal money for personal spending which works for us).

just wondering if anyone had experience of moving abroad with young children and or being a trailing spouse or knows of anyone that has and how did it pan out? I just feel a little uneasy moving somewhere that I might not be able to work at all. He’s also been looking at jobs in Brazil, Dubai and Singapore which I think wouldn’t be as tricky to get work if not specialised.

If we did end up moving abroad we would most likely rent out our house which would pay off our monthly mortgage and hopefully put us in a position where we could start making overpayments to ensure we were paid up ahead of retirement.

we’re only considering Dubai as an option for financial reasons, purely because it’s tax free. Personally not our cup of tea and a has never appealed to us as a holiday option. My mum is from the Philippines and I have been quite a few times and imagine Thailand to be similar. We currently have friends in Japan and Saudi Arabia and have never been able to visit, however they would be more accessible from Thailand or Singapore. As a teacher all these countries can offer the best packages. Hence why we’re considering them all as options. We’ve also been to Brazil which we loved.

@LisaJohnsonsFacebookMole i don’t think this would be an issue? His school are aware that he is applying for international schools and he has full support from his head who has said she will write a letter of support to help with his application

Is the school just a kindergarten OP? Is that the age group your DH wants to teach?

There are some strange replies to your OP. I’m not sure why people seem to be so scared of experiencing a different culture. The healthcare system in Thailand is very good I believe as well. I’d suggest visiting some expat boards to find proper information on living and working in Bangkok as an expat.

We lived abroad for three years when kids were babies and I had no regrets. It was a wonderful experience from a travel, life and social experience. Coming back to the UK was fine though of course there is a transition period as you’d expect. Good luck with whatever you decide.

@Namefortodayandtomorrow So my husband’s experience is key stage 1 (mainly year 1 and 2 here in the UK). The Kensington school currently goes up to year 1 and is expanding year on year up to year 6 by the time they have finished.

I’m glad it’s not just me that thinks that - I feel like the points I made in my OP have been completely missed. Although some valid points have also been made. Just wondering, where did you live abroad and did you have a house back in the UK or were you renting before moving abroad?

Some of the replies are very odd and narrow minded, I say absolutely go for it! Any of the places you mentioned or Hong Kong, China, Japan, other places in Latin America (though the financial benefit would be highest in the Middle East followed by Asia). All the places you mentioned are as safe or safer than the UK and it will be a great experience for your kids. My parents (also teachers) worked abroad when I was younger and as an adult I've lived and worked in six different countries, it's very normal in my circles and kids adapt quickly especially at primary school age.

@IOSTT know I know that thank you. I was referring to £38k minus tax and deductions and would take childcare into account which would make a huge saving for us - free education with a future international school vs £1k a month in nursery/after school clubs and accommodation allowance whilst our mortgage back in UK paying for itself and also cost of living generally cheaper in Thailand vs here in todays current climate…

I know people who taught in Thailand and they had a blast! I visited one of them - great lifestyle, ready-made sociable community, money went a long way. Some of them had kids and were doing it before they went to secondary.

I bet the people saying this have never been further than Skeggy.

The UK is a shithole OP. Get out if you can.

Thailand one of my favorite country. People are amazing, food is amazing, culture is amazing. I would love to move in a heartbeat. And your kids got private school anyway there. Its good experience to relocate abroad. I’m relocate to finland next year and not too keen about the weather. Would love to relocate to asia though.

Why not?

Growing up knowing you’re an expat (as opposed to thinking that you’re a national) is a different kettle of fish. The children will have regular visits back to the uk knowing that it is “home” and that they will one day be there permanently.

I would go at the drop of a hat. Thailand is an amazing country. What an experience for your children. I know someone who taught there with two small children. They were there for 4 years, the children loved it. The mother got a job in the school, but I think the previous suggestion of learning TEFL is a great idea. Also very high end retail in Bangkok. The opportunity for travel around Asia: Cambodia, Vietnam, Japan. You can let your house out here so that you can easily return. It's a no brainer.

I love Thailand even though Bangkok can be very overwhelming. Great jumping off point for lots of exciting travel and experiences a child just wouldn’t get in the UK.

If I were in your shoes though, I’d be hoping for Singapore.

My goodness I can’t believe some of the responses here!! I can only assume some posters have never been to these countries or understand the concept of an expat posting. Bangkok is an huge (busy!) city with so much going on, it is very child friendly, full of international schools and fantastic medical options - definitely nothing to be worried about moving there with kids. Singapore is a first class city with excellent international schools, the best medical facilities I have experienced - only problem is you are unlikely to save much there as it is such an expensive city to live in. I feel safer in both those cities than in many uk cities. There is a huge variation in quality of international schools, if you choose a good, well established one with a genuine international school community you can have an amazing experience. Our experiences of education in international schools has been way better than UK schools. expat communities are generally very welcoming with regular activities, groups, volunteering options and get togethers. Then you can explore your country / city at together as a family at weekends and immerse yourself in local cultures. We have had the most amazing adventures across three continents and my kids say they wouldn’t change it for the world.

Make sure you choose your school well and research typical packages - are annual flights home included?

I did this twenty years ago, we packed up and moved to Brazil with our 1 and 3 year old. After that s we lived in chile for a few years

it was a big adventure, it was really tough at times, I had to work hard to create a new support network (you have to find new friends)

it was great but also hard. Yes I have an eight year pension gap now in the uk

yes I lost my financial independence for the duration and yes it was tough to find the balance for how our relationship changed

sk it is tough and hard work but also exciting and an adventure, I loved the whole cultural experience

i did a TEFL course before I went so I was able to teach/tutor a bit

we came back to the U.K. when kids were 7 and 9

We lived in Norway and we did rent our house out, managed by an estate agent, and the company paid for housing abroad. Norway is obviously less different culturally than you’d experience in Thailand but we still found it useful to learn some Norwegian to help integrate with the locals.

There's a misunderstanding. In order to leave some countries you need an exit permit if you're there on a work visa, in order to get the exit permit you need employers to agree for you to leave the country. You ought to check if that applies in any country your DP works in. People think it's only underpaid TESOL/TEFL teachers and backpackers that it happens too but it could happen to anyone who works in such a country. And I sure wouldn't want to be fighting through the courts just to get permission to leave the country.

Btw it is leaving for any reason.

So yeah do move, it'll be a heck of a ride, but know what you are getting into.

The law is changing around tenancies. Even if your property is managed by an agent, you'll ultimately be legally responsible. Do you have a lot of savings set aside to pay upfront fees, compliance with current regulations, money for void periods, non payment of rent, damages and refurbishment and you'd need permission to let as you have a mortgage. Make sure you have very good contents insurance.

It's not easy to be a hobby landlord these days.

I'd go! Have you looked up the school on International School Reviews? It's for teachers, and you have to pay, but totally worth it.

We did a 3 year stint in Africa when kids were 7 and 4. Dh was the accompanying spouse and found it more difficult but in Thailand you would have heaps of job options- massive embassies, loads of schools and a centre for aid agencies and international organizations- if you will work for local salaries and the visa situation is ok then lots of choice.

The most annoying part of the whole thing was renting out the house, it did just about cover costs but our agent was shit which was stressful.

The kids say they want to go back all the time - it's such a good thing for them to give them an international outlook and know they can move anywhere and it will be ok and they will make friends and thrive.

Our nephew and family live in Dubai. They both work and the lifestyle is very good. I don’t like the climate much or the politics there but they have a good life. The only really tricky issue is how far they are from family GPs etc. It is well paid though and they can visit quite often or meet up in mainland Europe for hols midway

I’m just here to say I love your name @LisaJohnsonsFacebookMole.

Financially it could work very well. You could stay overseas for a few years, enjoy the experience, save and pay down your mortgage then move back ready to upgrade your house in time for the kids to apply for secondary schools.

On a family level it could also be great. Bangkok is a good city to live in especially in the nice expat areas. Thailand amazing for beach life and regional travel. Very strong British community. You’d want to try and get a job at a top school that also comes with a strong community for making friends. And a recce visit is essential. The other countries you mentioned are nice too.

Agree the living overseas board is a better place for advice!

OP, get advise from others on the board mentioned above and be careful.

If a marriage breaks down when a couple is overseas and the guy wants to stay, courts often rule that the child's primary residence is the new country where they are living, making it impossible for you to take your children back to the UK - mothers have been prosecuted for kidnapping for trying to do this, and have lost their kids or spent years trapped in another country for this reason.

This.

You do not need to worry about getting a job to pay your share when you'veoved halfway round the world for his job. Great if you can but you should have equal rights to the money and get a pension.

I don't think that is a great salary but the package might make it decent. Check out the financials before you make a decision.

Singapore was an amazing place to live and raise a child, go for it