I worked at a company for 20+ years.
A few years ago, I had a miscarriage and was treated really badly by my manager afterwards. It all got very messy, with the union involved, and ended up in a tribunal where I won the main parts. However, the manager carried on victimising me, but more subtly. It was the friendship of people I'd been friends with for years that kept me there (plus the hope that manager would leave).
A few years later, I had a baby. Treated badly during pregnancy and returned to a demotion and worse conditions. Not allowed breaks for expressing milk. Wanted mediation. It was refused and manager or company said they'd rather go back to court.
Ended up leaving after submitting a grievance which was ignored and not even responded to.
We are now going back to tribunal. Not what I wanted, but my new job pays less than what I would have earned in my non-demoted role, and it is the principle too. I was effectively pushed out of my job and my pregnancy and maternity leave were affected by how I was treated too.
The manager is also spreading false rumours about me leaving (pretending I was sacked rather than resigned, making up false allegations).
Manager is trying to get (ex)friends to be witnesses against me. These are people who know how ill manager has made me and have been vocally and enthusiastically on my side... before I left.
I totally understand that they need their jobs and need to stay on manager's good side, but not to the extent that they are willing to speak against me and for manager. There's nothing that they know or can say that will affect my case badly if they tell the truth, but emails have already been sent via solicitors that show them lying to the manager about whether they have been in contact with me, what I have said to them and what their opinions are on the situation.
The problem for them is that (now they are "in" this by having been willing to write these emails and lie and probably be witnesses) they have now become relevant to the case and my solicitor has made me disclose messages from them and between us that prove they are lying. They will also really anger the manager as they show my ex-friends being very negative about the manager and having lied to manager.
I have no choice about this, but still feel terrible about it as the messages will really turn manager against them. My partner says they deserve it for being such turncoats (he knows them well because a couple of them have really been very close friends and spent a lot of time here and with my children), but I feel bad that the manager may now have them on the list for being next.
Unless they prove their loyalty by being willing to lie in court, I guess.
What I can't get my head round is how people who have been my friends for almost two decades can be such hypocrites. I know they're scared, but how can they justify doing this rather than saying no? Or even leaving if they are that scared for their jobs?
There are a number of people who have left who are enthusiastic witnesses FOR me and they are just as surprised as me about what is happening and probably more disgusted.
They think the lying people deserve to be exposed as liars and that I shouldn't care about having to disclose these private messages. But I do care, because I cared about these people. I know that probably makes me naive and stupid, but the history was positive and I can't just write it off and forget about it.
How can I ever trust anyone again? These were not just short-term work people. We were in each others' lives for years. We socialised together and looked after eqch others' kids. One of them was the person I called when I started miscarrying. Was I stupid to trust them? I think so. So AIBU to never have friendships/ socialise at work again?
Should add that my new colleagues seem lovely, but I am so scared of being screwed over again that I just don't know what to say or do.