Has anyone struggled to get the tone right on Teams?

[Rosebudwater]

Im stryggling to adapt to the post covid, online only interactive work life. It's getting me down a bit, has anyone else felt like this?

I had a busy, in office five days a week, lots of chatting with colleagues , collaboration etc before I had a baby.

Then it was covid, I had another baby... Anyway, fast forward to now and for various practical and financial reasons, I have a job that's 80 percent remote, and all my direct colleagues and bosses work remotely from a different city.

IRL and before covid, I was pretty chatty at work, I like the social interaction, and joking around a bit with colleagues. They werent best friends but I liked the day to day chit chat. Obviously there's much less of that online, and anything I do say in my current job that isn't totally straight, business related, seems to be completely lost in translation. Im starting to feel like an AI bot.

I need a new job don't I? But just wanted to have a whinge and wonder if I'm the only one struggling to adapt to this kind of online working? It makes a lot of sense to WFH with small kids, but I think it's making me quite miserable.

have you got bad feedback?

Hmm I suspect it’s the people rather than teams, I still manage to have some friendly chat on teams but we are also in the office a couple of days a week which really helps.

I work remotely on Teams and I'm not really sure what you mean. Can you say a bit more about things being lost in translation and 'getting the tone right'?

I hate Teams and all the other ways to have remote meetings, you can't form proper human connections when you aren't meeting face to face, you can't read body language, judge toe properly, make eye contact, have a wry smile with someone else in the room

I predict that in the not too distant future it will become obvious that not working together in person has had serious negative consequences for many jobs

In your shoes @Rosebudwater I'd be like looking for a new job

I think it depends if you know and work with them IRL. Teams calls are fine with people you already know, they’re trickier if you have a purely transactional relationship with someone.

I would say one of the challenges of Teams vs Slack is that Slack groups come as standard with a #random channel that you can use for posting little bits of funny stuff, or interesting stuff, or pictures of pets - basic social interaction that people can mute if they're not interested or if they're busy. Teams with people you don't know well feels more regimented and there's no obvious space for fun.

You say everyone else is remote in a different city - are you all hybrid? Are you managing to agree a common day of the week to be in the office with your team?

I wonder if they're more callers than typers, have you tried calling when you could type a message to someone? Build up some rapport that way?

Hmm just like a complete lack of any non work related chat, and when I do make any comments on anything else (like the news, or even just what people have done at the weekend etc) they're not really responded to. I think maybe I'm too casual or something, but I've never had this problem with other colleagues. In real life when I've met these people it's been fine, normal chat, but there's just none of that on teams. It just makes it fairly long and lonely days. Maybe it's just the culture at my work? As I say working from home makes a lot of sense for me life wise, but maybe not so much personality wise

Ha yes, the wry smile thing! Just the kind of human connection, throwaway remarks type thing that I miss. Everything feels so incredibly straight now

Op has your misplaced tone been picked up?

Yeah a couple of times my manager has brought up things ( I wrote wtf once about something non work related which didn't go down well in case it offended someone apparently). Maybe it's that kind of thing, like in normal conversation stuff like that would just be not noticed, but on teams chats then every word is very monitored.

Typing it out now, then maybe I realise I'm just not suited to the culture of where I'm working perhaps

In my workplace the chit chat happens in some meetings while we are waiting for someone else to join. (Obviously not much in the more formal meetings - but in team standups etc)

And we have a coffee morning every other week - we all bring our coffee and just chat. Everyone doesn't join every time but we manage to get a good natter with a few people.

The wry smile is replaced by an emoji sent 1-1.

Are you talking about typing or video call. I'm very cautious about what I type on screen, I don't really understand enough about how the messages are stored or not. I have a couple of people I call for a chit chat for a few mins now and then but am very selective about who this is and what I say , more so than in an office where there is a better feel of who is in with which other etc. I actually quite like how it makes me think more about the relationship and implications of what I say but I can see for others is a barrier.

Yeah it sounds like people are overly aware that Teams chats are logged, and so no-one wants to say anything remotely controversial. I wonder if there was an incident you don't know about which is why people are being so cautious?

I've worked remotely long term and I don't have trouble with making human connections, or doing the raised eyebrow thing in meetings or whatever it may be, but there are definitely occasions when doing things face-to-face works best. I think it is definitely possible for some teams to work very effectively remotely, but definitely not if it feels like you're constantly being monitored.

We have weekly 'social' calls with the whole team which are very informal and good for keeping up with everyone and I also have non work related chats with close colleagues once every few weeks or randomly if I notice they look a bit down etc

Ok so it’s been picked up

Writing WTF on work teams is probably best avoided Op!

Instead of wtf use the eye roll emoji 🙄
Usually similar to emotion and will go better - but not on the main team chat . This would 1-1 , close team chats.

Teams has really good "head against brick wall" one which goes down really well in my workplace.

I get it. The answer to this is to find your tribe - and keep the 'wtf' for them (but I'd ring them and say it, rather than write it in a chat).

I have a larger team chat which is very straitlaced, aside from a few favoured people who are seemingly allowed to do what they wish. I keep my contributions to that short and professional. I save my informal comments for work friends but even then I would be mindful about what I put in a chat. In my firm, Teams cannot be edited or deleted so once it's on there, it's there for good. If I need to vent then I ring them - and they also do the same. One rang me yesterday for a good bitch about a project that's going down the tubes.

Agree with you OP, I find it difficult to converse on Teams and actually build relationships with colleagues, even with video calls.

It also doesn’t help with the isolation/loneliness that can come with wfh/remote working.

Sounds like it’s mostly a culture clash OP.

I have found that post-covid work culture is quite different to pre-covid. I work in a mostly remote organisation, it’s very much the done thing to have five mins of general chat before starting a meeting, in a way that we never would have when meetings were in person, because that chat would have been before/after being in the meeting room.

Things written down are a bit different. I don’t chat as openly in a teams chat (1:1 or group) as I would in a call. I do agree on the emojis - Skype has an angry one which goes redder and redder until it explodes, that one gets used a lot!

Also it’s so much harder to make “work friends”. There are a couple of women who I’m sure I would have gone for lunch with etc if we were in the same building, but because we’re not, and we’re not direct teammates with lots of 1:1 calls, we don’t really do social chat (beyond the 5 mins as above!).

I’ve been working from home for the last ten years, and you’re correct that typing on Teams isn’t the same as speaking naturally. Additionally, your employer can see and legally store all your conversations. For anything I want to discuss that isn’t suitable for chat, I prefer video calls or WhatsApp. I also make a point to visit our main office once a month to foster relationships. I believe a specific personality type is needed to work from home. As someone who is autistic, I prefer to keep my work and home life separate and I’m not that bothered about being beat friends with colleagues etc.

God yes OP, I hate Teams with the intensity of a thousand suns. It is a terrible way to communicate. Also, I sat next to a colleague in the office once and we were both on the same teams call, with several other people. I noticed there was a slight delay between her speaking and it coming through my headphones. Maybe that’s partly why it always feels so stilted.
And only one person can speak at once so I always time it wrong and end up interrupting someone, then doing the “ you go” “ no, you” and everything you say feels like it needs to be important , there’s no throwaway off the cuff remarks anymore.
I need a new job too 😩

Haha yes fair.

I think I'm just not used to having to be so guarded generally, and it's been really heightened by most of my interactions being on teams (writing teams I mean rather than actual chats).

I thought I could replicate the small talk I used to have at work on the teams channel, but no!

Also Teams messages can be seen by higher ups if they want to, so you can’t have a gossip or a whinge like you would in person. I’m not saying either should be encouraged obv but sometimes it’s needed..!

I am quite a quiet person and find it harder in large groups generally in person, but on Teams it’s a nightmare because I ALWAYS end up being spoken over.

Gads I really just hate wfh for so many reasons 😂

I completely agree, OP. I do really value the flexibility and convenience of WFH, but the spark of human connection is missing and I find work interactions have become very transactional.

I can think of specific examples, particularly colleagues who I used to really value chatting with when we all worked in the same office who I now barely speak to because we don't work on the same projects.

I only started WFH post covid when I was/am at a point in my life with a family of my own and friends around me that I get my social fix elsewhere, but good god the thought of working like this from graduation to retirement is just miserable. It just doesn't feel human.