Has anyone struggled to get the tone right on Teams?

[Rosebudwater]

Im stryggling to adapt to the post covid, online only interactive work life. It's getting me down a bit, has anyone else felt like this?

I had a busy, in office five days a week, lots of chatting with colleagues , collaboration etc before I had a baby.

Then it was covid, I had another baby... Anyway, fast forward to now and for various practical and financial reasons, I have a job that's 80 percent remote, and all my direct colleagues and bosses work remotely from a different city.

IRL and before covid, I was pretty chatty at work, I like the social interaction, and joking around a bit with colleagues. They werent best friends but I liked the day to day chit chat. Obviously there's much less of that online, and anything I do say in my current job that isn't totally straight, business related, seems to be completely lost in translation. Im starting to feel like an AI bot.

I need a new job don't I? But just wanted to have a whinge and wonder if I'm the only one struggling to adapt to this kind of online working? It makes a lot of sense to WFH with small kids, but I think it's making me quite miserable.

Yikes, a bit worried if anyone has been looking at my Teams 😬

I feel sad sometimes as I am in a very niche role, I'm the only one in the country that does it. I work 100pc from home in a different country to my colleagues. I am fairly senior, but often find it hard to get my opinions over as it feels like they have had a meeting in person, before the meeting with me and agreed what they want to do before inviting me to a Teams meeting. I'm sure they have actually.

Transactional is totally the right word.

I think you've hit the nail on the head- im almost a bit embarrassed to admit it, but, I've got little kids at home and not a lot of time/energy for external social life or hobbies yet (hopefully that will change as they get older). So work really is where I get that kind of casual, every day chit chat fix, and I'm really missing it.

I get you.
I rarely chat (type) over Teams unless it's a quick question. Generally I wait until someone is showing green and then message to ask if they are free for a quick convo. For work purposes it's much more productive, and often results in a water-cooler/kettle style chat too. I have no qualms in spending a few minutes this way as I would if I was in the office. It oils the wheels of work relationships.

I think it is who you have Teams calls with. Plenty of random social chats not just about the weather. Pets, music and 1980s children programmes featured at work this week on calls.

From time to time, have virtual coffee breaks with colleagues on Teams where we talk about all sorts of things. Would that help?

This is why I love working at home so chatty colleagues can't disturb me any more and I can just get on with my considerable workload!

When I worked part-time in an office it was honestly so difficult sometimes to concentrate with some people talking for hours about personal or inane stuff.

Yes a couple of minutes is fine here and there but not hours! I can't believe they got any work done at all.

I wonder if other people feel the same as you? We have coffee chats too, or 5 minutes before the morning meeting kicks off. It's a bit of a minefield because people can get a bit raucous. But I wonder if you could suggest your work starts one, as a way of building in some connection and well-being.

I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m actually an introvert (which probably means I don’t have the social life to make up for a totally remote life) and was actually surprised when lockdown lifted how delighted I was to be back in the office a couple of days a week seeing people face to face. It’s just much more difficult to have any of that informal chit chat and interaction over a screen. For me hybrid is the perfect mix.

Can you find maybe one or two people who are on a similar wavelength and arrange a weekly virtual coffee (or 4pm Friday G&T?!). I now have a couple of “friend” colleagues who I’ll teams call for a bit of a gossip/chat and will ping each other messages in the day. They’re safe people to have the wtf type chats with rather than your whole team Teams channel.

I find it weird on teams - better on it than I was 1st off but I seem to be the only person who ‘reacts’ to the thing the person who’s talking says, everyone else just seems to stare at the screen stoney faced. It’s the people I used to work in the office with I make small talk with, no one else.

Omg yes the stoney faces! And I can’t think of much worse than a virtual coffee get together tbh. So awkward. There are a few people I call for a chat 1-1 and that’s fine but groups, noooo.

I think Teams chat is much easier when you already know the people IRL somewhat.

Also, I wouldn't have written "wtf" on any Teams chat - I'd save that for WhatsApp.

In general, I'm relatively cautious about what I put in Teams chats because it is a medium for work and it all shows up in a SAR

I don’t think Teams has that “off record” chatter - I think that’s an in person thing. Work messaging systems are very functional; rather than social, and video calls always feel very functional really, unless you’ve got quite a social team that do catch ups before everyone has joined.

It’s probably a mix of knowing all your conversations are logged and could be read, however unlikely that would be, and people finding them distracting/intrusive so using them as little as possible.

I do think the office is best for colleagues and conversations, or coworking spaces regularly if that’s not possible, so you get to know some people in person and can have off-the-record chats at typically sociable times. Virtual chats can’t replace that.

It's your colleagues not the tech. My team all work remotely 99% of the time. We all talk to each other regularly, have two meetings scheduled a week to catch up and chat about non work things (no forced participation, but generally everyone does).

You all have to put effort into it though, and it's not helpful if one/some are quite hesitant to be involved/wary of the tech environment.

O I agree OP. I’ve been doing it 2.5 years and some days I really can’t face teams at all. It just feels like a really poor replacement for human interraction. When people start talking about the weather I want to bang my head against my desk.

Like you I have children- can’t go and do lovely evening stuff on a whim so I don’t think i realised how much I benefit from a bit of chatter at work.

I also feel like I’m really rubbish at my job because I haven’t learned from bits and bobs you’d chat about or overhear in the office.

Im pretty shocked at the impact teams has had- granted I didn’t work in my workplace pre teams but it seems that people just don’t realise that people are people when working on teams.

Are there any flexible co working spaces nearby? You have to pay but generally (and it may take a while) they’re more for social side of office life. Struck a reasonable balance for me.

Do you have colleagues you know well enough to move to WA with, OP? My best work friend and I chat solely on WA unless it is very formal work stuff - we’d probably be sacked if we used Teams for our conversations! - and I have less regular WA chats running with other colleagues. I am wary of FOI requests etc so try to keep work channels strictly work and fairly formal in tone, other than politely acknowledging the other person’s interests (eg my line manager is a massive football fan, his deputy recently got a new puppy, another colleague’s little girl was in a dance show a few weeks back and so on).

Also when I first started I would ask people what their weekend plans were and put mine on there.
obviosusly didn’t read the room as people just write ‘have lovely weekends all’ etc. honeslty dull as dishwater

My oh works remote for a big bank. They are very straightforward corporate on teams but they have a separate WhatsApp group without the cheeses where they communicate. He's been giggling all night at the shenanigans,

Remote working is good for the obvious reasons of flexibility etc but terrible for your mental health and any kind of human interaction which is vital to be able to communicate and create a positive and productive work environment. I hate it. There are zero water cooler moments. Every meeting is, scheduled and with an agenda which is implicit pressure.

Also - it is really really hard for neurodivergent individuals- no idea if you are, but I know that I find it very stressful trying to communicate where there is no body language in such a restricted time frame and no ability to communicate in a relaxed manner which is more conducive to solutions and a feeling of team work. I hate it - I feel like the work place has become another toxic environment and people are as disposable as internet dating and friendships bc no one COMMUNICATES face to face. And any discussion you do have on social channels is now essentially evidence to wrong doing should you ever be in that situation. The whole thing is fucked.

That's a very sweeping statement. Wfh has been really beneficial to my mental health and how much capacity I have outside of work. I also have ADHD and am able to manage my way of working much more easily than I did in an office.

Sorry not trying to say it isn't helpful in that regard- it is hugely. But also really depends on your role, the way you work, or need to. And the way in which you're managed. If those things are not working well, then it is infinitely harder to do a good job online.

And for many people work is also a social outlet and need. We're not automatons. If you're doing a full time role and have no ability to actually meet your colleagues that's not a good thing. In an ideal world I'd have flexibility and home working but would want to be able to meet or be in an office with an agreed frequency.

Have you built any relationships with others?

We have smaller WhatsApp groups for the ‘wtf’ and 🙄 moments. Even in Teams meetings some of us will be in contact via WhatsApp.
Chance to moan about systems, duds leadership & catch up with each other. It means there is no danger of posting publically or sending the wrong message to the wrong person!

The groups only really work though, following some f2f contact. Now, the group meet occasionally to work on-site or in a local venue.