Has anyone just walked away?

[toxicworkenvironment]

My workplace is incredibly and increasingly toxic, I'm in a senior role, sole earner, £85k a year. Five year tenure in post but a negative culture shift about three years ago post takeover by an overseas firm with different values.

I raised a serious greivance about a senior's behaviour this year (have put up with it since takeover) and went off sick for a month with stress while it was dealt with, my immediate superior was really supportive of this at the time. Never had any time off sick in five years so it was a really big thing for me to do. Grievance dismissed without right to appeal, which is the norm.

Since I've been back at work I have been frequently undermined and I am just finding it thoroughly toxic and untenable.

I just want to walk away, have a decent skillset and am well qualified but the job market is tough atm (have applied for a number of jobs). I've got a second interview for something in October.

I've thought about it a lot, if you asked me if I was weak and sensitive, I would say no, I am strong and capable, but I feel quite sick with a tight chest feeling and absolutely dread going into work.

I am desperate to resign/walk away for my own sanity/health but am not sure whether that is a really stupid thing to do given my circumstances. I could offer consultancy work, there's a shortage of people with experience in my particular niche, but obviously there are no guarantees.

I've got enough cash to cover a year's costs without altering anything lifestyle wise.

Has anyone else just walked away?

No but I went out sick, found something else, then went back and worked out my notice.

I haven't. But I just wanted to say that if you have a year's savings to keep you afloat and you're feeling like this, I would prioritise your health. Agree with PP to take sick leave first too. They have made you ill.

I also want to give you a hug. You dont have to be strong and capable all the time, and equally walking away from this would not make you weak and sensitive. Those are all quite loaded words that will keep you in this awful situation. There is better waiting for you on the other side of this.

@Spongebobcircletop , of course that is the sensible thing to do!

I have this crushing anxiety feeling in my chest that is stemming from work, nothing else, never felt anything like it before but it is growing week on week as I experience more unpleasantness because I stood up to really poor and unethical behaviour.

@Berga , thank you for your kindness, I'm so used to just having to keep the wheels turning.

Yep. Best thing I ever did. Left in June took the summer to focus on new opportunities (was slow over summer as everyone on leave) and now back in a fantastic new role. I guess it'll depend on the market in your industry though, mine is pretty niche.

How does having taken time off sick reflect on references and future employment?

Yes I have just quietly walked out went home and emailed my resignation. There followed weeks of them trying to contact me trying to get an explanation out of me which I just ignored

It was only a basic factory job but very toxic and I felt I was being pushed out anyway.

Fortunately I didn't need to work as I had savings. Best think I did for my sanity

It won't at all. References are very much 'can confirm x worked here from x to x in x role'.

I did and started doing consultancy work. Best thing I have done for my career. There is SO much work in my sector I can pick and chose. Job is the same but I work on my terms.

Once you have decided that you are determined to leave, you have several options:

• lodge a new grievance, as you are still being undermined and singled out even more for raising your concerns in the past which, concerns that they chose to dismiss. Make it clear that if this is not taken seriously this time you will have no choice but to be resign and claim constructive dismissal. Basically the end game is for them to agree on a financial settlement with you to avoid a law suit so you can leave with some money to help you take your next career step. Speak to ACAS and citizen advice for some initial advice.
• or go off sick with stress or book some annual leave to give yourself some breathing space. Use that time to job hunt and find something else. You could also look at whether you could use your experience and skills to do some consulting/freelancing.

I know that just resigning is tempting to make a clean break but I personally would try to squeeze as much as possible from them because of how poorly you were treated and how much it is affecting you.

Honestly if you can afford to then walk away. I stayed too long as I could not leave without another job. However when i hit send on that resignation email I felt amazing!

Update your cv/ LinkedIn, get yourself in the books of recruiters/headhunters or start looking to see where you could pick up consultancy work.

In my head, I'd prefer to have something lined up before handing in my notice. However if it is causing you stress etc then perhaps a clean break is needed.

X

I handed my notice in with nothing to go to and I had no savings. It was reckless in hindsight but I was just so unhappy and it was making me ill. I got something three weeks before the end of my notice period, it was the best decision I’ve made as it empowered me to never put up with untenable working conditions again.

Yes.

I had enough savings for at least a year and I walked away and took a sabbatical.

Best thing I ever did.

Yes. I was in the process of being managed out of a job when pregnant and my stomach was like a washing machine every morning with the stress of it. One morning, I woke up and thought…enough! I went off sick immediately and rang ACAS. Got an out of court settlement. Six months after DC (now 19) was born I found something else.

The morning where I decided I wasn’t returning and called in sick felt brilliant. Epic.

I had some savings and an OH.

Me too, nearly seven years ago. Apart from not having to deal with office politics and corporate bullshit, I am making three times as much money (and that's inside IR35 through an umbrella company). I have also stopped underestimating myself and my skills/experience: getting away from a toxic workplace will do that for you.

Thank you everyone 🙏 it looks like a few of us have been in this awful position.

I’m on the books of three exec recruitment firms/LinkedIn. I’ve also paid someone to look at my CV/am happy with it.

I’m speaking to an employment lawyer and a consultancy agency next week. I’d rather set up a Ltd co and work for myself if I’m honest, but want to understand how the market looks and what terms are.

The thought of losing my salary is terrifying. I’ve worked for 30 years, never without a monthly pay packet coming in.

Ageism is a fear too tbh and over qualification for a lot of things (50 year old with a PhD).

I just want to give you a biggest hug as I went through something similar. My workplace was toxic and they tried every possible way to make my life miserable so I would resign. I raised formal grievance like yourself and they decided not to deal with my grievance formally and never was given the right to appeal either.

However, I refused to give them the satisfaction of bullying me out. I took as many sick leave as I was entitled to and when I found a better job, I resigned with immediate effect as a constructive dismissal.

Please be aware that they can disclose your sickness if they want to ( in my case they did because they were out to destroy me). However I was very fortunate to have the most understanding new employer and management who couldn’t have done enough for me. I was honest with my new employer why I was off sick for so long and they didn’t care about the reference then.

The best feeling ever was when I submitted my resignation with immediate effect. No job is worth sacrifice your health over but do not give them the satisfaction that they can bully you out. Take whatever you are entitled to and chuck the job in their face when you have better offer.

I thought people would expect more of me because Im costing more than permanent staff, but they seem really grateful to have me there and instead I’m treated with more respect. Funny how things work. I have to work inside IR35 too,

Thank you @Lotusflower83 . I think I’ll see what Monday brings.

I’m sure that policy is not to disclose sick leave but I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

I’m really pleased to see that so many people went on to have really positive experiences.

I’ve also had three counselling sessions through my professional institute, because if I’m honest this has really knocked my confidence. I feel that I need to talk it through with a trained person as I’m unsure of my reactions/position to take. I think I can have ten sessions so a few more left.

If your CV is already good why don't you just apply for a couple of positions this weekend. It sets the ball in motion and gets your CV out there.

Yes. I walked out of a toxic workplace. Told them why I left (outlining the abuse, gaslighting, bullying and toxicity), and threatened them with a tribunal if they didn't make me voluntarily redundant. They coughed up a tidy sum to avoid tribunal/adverse publicity. I took legal advice on their offer and my lawyer said she'd never heard of such a great offer. Best thing I ever did! Life is too short. Go for it! X

Could you discuss voluntary redundancy? Might that be an option?

Or go back on sick leave as you are genuinely stressed.

I might try to shift my mindset and stop caring, do the minimum to get by, stand up to all forms of bullying and wait to be put on gardening leave while continuing to look for another job. But that's easier said than done. If you really dread going in, you could hand in your notice and start to build up consultancy work. I know a couple of women who have done that and are absolutely thriving with a far better work life balance.

Put some feelers out for Consultancy if you can do so without alerting your employers.
I went into Consultancy around 15 years ago and loved it, Covid kicked its arse so I went employed for a couple of years but I hated it and got out as soon as I could.
Its stressful as you need to make sure you can market yourself/network to get contracts and of course you need to set up a company, sort tax etc etc but you can choose who to work with (or not).
DH also Consults now after being in corporate and he says he will never go back

I’ve applied for at least a dozen jobs this month. My work is very niche so I’m relying on transferable skills on lots of cases which means I’m up against people with more direct experience.

My biggest hope for a suitable position if from one particular exec recruitment consultant who actually went to the trouble of meeting me in person and has kept in touch weekly. He seems like an old fashioned recruiter, nice guy, making a big effort.

No chance of redundancy.