Has anyone just walked away?

[toxicworkenvironment]

My workplace is incredibly and increasingly toxic, I'm in a senior role, sole earner, £85k a year. Five year tenure in post but a negative culture shift about three years ago post takeover by an overseas firm with different values.

I raised a serious greivance about a senior's behaviour this year (have put up with it since takeover) and went off sick for a month with stress while it was dealt with, my immediate superior was really supportive of this at the time. Never had any time off sick in five years so it was a really big thing for me to do. Grievance dismissed without right to appeal, which is the norm.

Since I've been back at work I have been frequently undermined and I am just finding it thoroughly toxic and untenable.

I just want to walk away, have a decent skillset and am well qualified but the job market is tough atm (have applied for a number of jobs). I've got a second interview for something in October.

I've thought about it a lot, if you asked me if I was weak and sensitive, I would say no, I am strong and capable, but I feel quite sick with a tight chest feeling and absolutely dread going into work.

I am desperate to resign/walk away for my own sanity/health but am not sure whether that is a really stupid thing to do given my circumstances. I could offer consultancy work, there's a shortage of people with experience in my particular niche, but obviously there are no guarantees.

I've got enough cash to cover a year's costs without altering anything lifestyle wise.

Has anyone else just walked away?

Unfortunately for me, I went against head of HR and head of service in my department in my grievance. That’s why they disclosed my absence in the reference which they normally wouldn’t do to get back at me.

I have had many CBT sessions which helped me immensely.

If your grievance has not been dealt with properly, then it will go in your favour should you wish to take them to Tribunal later.

With those savings and in that scenario when it’s already made you ill and you’ve tried to resolve it yes, quitting sounds very wise. I was in a situation like this for 6 months and it took time to recover, wish i’d gone sooner as after I left I felt unable to do go into another job. If there are opportunities for some freelance work then resign and put the word out - do that while you look for another role.

I have several times, however I always check my contract first to make sure they can't sue me for walking out. I have also gathered evidence of times when I've been managed out so if anything does come back on my I have it ot hand.

Speaking to an employment solicitor is a good move, it sounds like you are being managed out.

I'm passed sticking a job out until I'm ready to leave it causes too much stress and it gets harder to get over each time.

Yes but stayed too long before I actually did it.
Left a very well paid professional job whilst being late 40's. Went travelling. Pandemic cut it short which I hadn't planned for. Came back, took short term contract work whilst applying.
Only down side was I didn't go back into permenant employment on my previous salary and it has taken me a couple of years to get back and exceed where I was but definitely a small price to pay for my sanity. I vowed never to stay in a toxic job if I didn't have to and I learnt leaving is no way career restricting.

@bowlingalleyblues I am really doubting my ability to interview well in my current mindset.

I really love what I do and really enjoy working with my immediate colleagues. It is the culture post buyout that’s changed things. So many people have left since takeover. I thought I’d stand up to the situation.

My meeting next week is for the lawyer’s assessment of the situation and to sound out successful tribunal odds if we get that far @Lotusflower83. Also to learn about the process and make sure I want to commit what it takes, not just financially.

Don't count of getting a payout. I was in a similar situation and stuck it out, hoping they'd just pay me and my grievance to walk away - and they didn't. The stress of hanging on in that toxic environment really affected my health.

@Givemeaclue123 that sounds very appealing! I’m supporting DC through uni atm, they travel from home so my options are limited.

Similar situation and yes I walked away (sort of, got a large settlement).
Poor job market but about to start some consulting.
I do think it looks weird to future employers and they may be suspicious but I couldn't be there anymore, it was having a major impact on my health. I'm now unemployed but much happier! It's not the end of my career.

Thanks @Movealongfolksplease , knowing the particular individuals I am dealing with and the toxic leadership situation I’m 80% sure they’ll wriggle out of it.

I think when you get to the stage where you think I just can't do this anymore it's time to quit . You have a years savings and what are they for if not to tide you over a difficult period . You'll get a new job within that year so probably won't draw on a whole years savings .

Yes, about 20 years ago in another country.
Was on benefits for couple of months, then got another job.
The bullying in previous place, the absolutely ridiculous "work culture" and the people were enough to actually turn my stomach.

In terms of the sick leave thing, I've told a couple of recruiters etc that I had time off for medical leave but am now recovered. They don't need to know it was stress related to the job.

You’re right @hattie43.

@Oceangreyscale I think it could look odd, I agree.

I’ve also thought about enrolling on a particular course for an element of my role where I’m QBE. No one has ever been bothered about me actually holding a certificate because of my PhD. I thought it might help it to look less odd. I don’t think it would do me any harm, but it isn’t essential either with my background.

Thank you everyone btw, I am grateful. A number of people I know irl think I’m mad and that I should just ignore the toxicity.

Sending you strength.

For me, kind of. I wasn't in what I'd call a terribly toxic job but it was a bad fit in that in retrospect, the lovely manager and I just had very, very different working and communication styles. It wasn't really a job that was easily explained or defined and the work stream all filtered through him so it was just never quite clear what was required from me and I never felt I had a firm grip on what the bigger picture of my work was (I tried through various routes to clarify without going into details). It wasn't a disaster and he certainly wasn't a bully but I had unrelated health problems, work wasn't helping and I decided to look for something else after sick leave rather than go back. It was fine and the best decision. Next job was a huge weight off.

Years ago I was in an extremely toxic internship that wasn't paid itself but I was offered a prestigious paid position. It was a hideous environment, bullying off the scale, no structure for complaints and sackings every two minutes so it seemed I could be out at any time anyway. I walked and was open about why.

I know neither example exactly the same but sometimes your mental health is the most important thing. When in Oct is your interview? Could you hang on, maybe take some unpaid leave? Also have you had the chest pains investigated?

Is so as much as I could to make myself redundant and get a pay off in these circumstances.
Delegate as much as possible, train others to do parts of your role. Make sure team toxic notice. Why should you leave with nothing when they've done this to you.

I left a role after 16 years due to a change in leadership that resulted in a toxic environment that impacted my mental health massively. Several long term staff members also left. It was the best thing I ever did. I didn't realise the weight I was carrying around with me until the day I handed in my notice. I feel like a new person and I've lost count of the amount of those close to me who've told me I'm back to my old self. Make the change!! You won't regret it!

Employers can include anything on a reference provided it’s true. Not everyone sticks to tombstone references.

Grievance dismissed without right to appeal, which is the norm.

You’re legally entitled to an appeal.

Ha would love to walk out of my job! If only! Boss that is toxic. On the brink of a grievance as know someone else has as having a rubbish time! Think the new manager simply doesn’t like me and blaming me for all sorts. I’m just not sure if I have enough evidence! Like you main earner and other half’s salary would not cover the mortgage never mind the bills! I’ve spoken to someone senior who says I should stand up for myself! Looking for other jobs. Got to final interviews on 2 jobs - no news as of yet on those. Not much else around

Let's be clear, this is very very rare, vanishingly rare, to threaten Tribunal and they immediately reach for their cheque book.

more like, they will watch and wait and play employment 'chicken' to see who will blink first. They will see if you submit for a Tribunal claim, play delay tactics and only when it gets to the 11th hour of the 59th minute, and after you've had to invest £££ in solicitor time, do they negotiate (solicitor to solicitor).

they don't roll over and make life easy, they make you sweat for every penny.

the exception to this is where Discrimination is clear and they know they've breached employment law. Anything else they couldn't care less.

On the interview front, I have found a podcast really supportive. It’s been great to listen to and has been an huge game changer for me prepping for interviews and even negotiations.

It’s called INTERVIEW BOSS and is presented by two sisters one in HR and the other in Radio Broadcasting. They recommend gathering your career ‘best bits’ and practicing telling those stories. Have a listen, really they’re so warm and friendly too! 😊

Yeah. It wasn't an idle threat either. I had every intention of going for a tribunal. I was actually shocked that they went for an immediate settlement. But they knew full well what they'd done to me. I had a dossier of evidence and witnesses. My basic message to the OP was to get out of a toxic workplace.

@toxicworkenvironment just go off stage I for whatever period you think you can explain (for want of a better term!), and then resign. Life is far far too short, you’ve got savings and you will 100% pick something up. I quite literally feel your pain

If you don't want to resign yet could you try quiet quitting? - doing the minimum.