Asking colleagues not to contact me on AL

[Sooverwork]

I’ve name changed for this post. I’m a manager in which I am almost on call 24/7 with no compensation . After 4.5 years I’m exhausted as have no respite. I am going on annual leave for less than 2 weeks . I do all the usual things - delegate work to the alleged 2 “ second in charge “, have an out of office reply on etc . However even with a “ Do Not Disturb” on my phone I still have the second in charge (s) texting me . This happens all the time even if I have a scheduled day off for doctors / elderly parent appt. I can’t go on like this anymore . How do I inform them NOT to contact me on my leave and not sound like a bitch . Please note that I never do this to either of them or any other member of my staff . With these two it’s a bit of a combination of laziness , not wanting to be responsible but for reasons I don’t want to go into I can’t sack or denote either of them . I just need to make it clear that I do not want to be contacted . Sorry for rant !

"Unless someone dies or the office goes up in smoke, don't contact me."

And don't reply if they do.

It’s good but I am after something a bit more polite ! 😂 It did make me laugh

If they contact you don't give them the answer. Just tell them whatever you think best.

Absolutely don't answer. That's the only way they're going to get the message. You have no obligation to deal with anything work related. If they're contacting you on your own number, block them while on leave.

Or right before you go on leave send a neutral, blanket out of office type message saying you will not be contactable till your first day back - Xxx date.

Do you have a separate work phone ? If so leave it behind.

Get a burner phone and give that number to everyone at work.

Then leave it off while you’re away.

Just say very nicely, you will be very busy on your next holiday/ you know the phone signal will be poor , so you are leaving your phone at home and there’s no way to contact me .
even better if you have a work phone and can make a big show of switching it off and putting it in your desk draw.

a visual to go with the verbal message 😆

One of my favourite managers left me as ‘second-in-charge’ while on holiday ( few years ago now).
He gave me some guidance as to what would be an emergency, who else to contact if such arose, explained he wouldn’t be available so not to agonise about whether to call, just don’t.

He then left with the sage advice ‘Don’t fuck up ‘. I grew up so much working for him.

I just think you need a clear discussion with your reports that this is a learning opportunity for them. If they can’t handle it - why not ? What do they need ? Explain that the company values vacation , theirs and yours ; you won’t contact them on their holidays, and expect the same courtesy.
Talk to them.

Thanks . I do that and still get contacted . I really need to tell these 2 to f?!k off

I really don’t think this is rude, it’s humorous but clear. Maybe you need to work on legitimising your needs and speaking up for yourself?

Can you talk to your manager? My manager is currently on holiday and we always get a very firm email from his manager reminding us all to leave my manager alone and contact his manager instead for support.

This is part of managing. You have to teach them about how to be professional, which includes this stuff.

You don’t need to simper and fall over yourself to be polite.

“I am on annual leave. We did a handover; you have all the information you need. I am now unavailable and you should not contact me until my return to work. The emergency contacts are XXX is anything arises which you haven’t been trained on. We can discuss this further on my return but do not reply to this message or contact me any further during my leave.”

I would set up some handover meetings beforehand, where you can formally delegate any responsibility while you are away and ask them to prepare for your being unavailable and what they might need from you before you go.

It will also give you a chance to remind them that annual leave is important for preventing burn out and supports productivity, so you definitely need a respite from work and will not be responding to any messages while you are on leave.

“This is an automated message, I am on annual leave and my phone is on mute, I look forward to answering any queries on my return” … text or WhatsApp this back if/when they get in touch, and save your voicemail with same thing … I doubt they will bother you again

That’s the best response . Thanks and will do . May also reword in an email and cc the operations manager so that there is no longer any “ confusion “ . One has been there longer than me - funnily enough applied for the job I have and never got it and the other one has also been in the system for a looong time .

All good managers have a level of firmness about them which comes out when needed.

Right now, to be a good manager to these two, you need to be firm. Not polite. Firm. Tell them clearly “do not contact me or we will have to discuss it further on my return.”

Just tell them straight up, "any decisions that need to be made by you for the next 2 week's because you will be in charge, don't second guess yourself or seek approval, I have the right to disconnect from work and after 4.5 years of not doing it I NEED to for these 2 weeks, any fuck ups I can deal with when I get back ' then divert their number back to the work place phone number 😂

Also just stop answering and stop worrying if they think you're a bitch. You're not paid for your time off and unless you are on some six figure salary ( and even then it's still bad form) you're entitled to down time.

Longer term I would either get a new job or try to renegotiate your terms. You shouldn't be on 24/7 with no additional recompense.

This is a situation entirely of your own making.

Turn your phone off, turn your emails off, delete all apps that they might use to contact you and if they still contact you, do not reply.

Honestly I feel you must get some kind of validation out of it, to have allowed it to go on for this long.

I'd be firm with them. Explain you are taking time off and are going for the chance to really switch off and relax so won't be answering texts or phone calls etc. Than actually switch your work phone off or set your personal phone to DND except for friends and family.

The more you do this, the less used to contacting you they will become and the more peace you will get.

Tell everyone you are not to be contacted unless there is a dire emergency because you need a total break for your own well-being. Give them examples of what a dire emergency is- like death or the office burning down and whether that needs to be a call (and to what number) or an email. Tell them who your deputy is and that they are expected to (and well able to) deal with everything in your absence.

Them block, hide or mute everyone .

If they do msg you unnecessarily then follow it up when you get back as a conduct issue.

Set out your boundaries before you go away - what constitutes as a situation you want to be informed of happy to be contacted - sort alternates for them to contact (not you).

And then you make it clear you will not respond unless its in those situations, and tell them that if you dont respond it doesnt mean they dont action whatever it is, but the question is answerable via other channels that youve set out.

The last thing you do before you log off is email them both, with the alternate escalation contacts in cc with a list of the known things coming up and a steer on how to handle them - and say speak on XX.

I think in a lot of these situations we are our own worst enemies, you can get on top of this! X

Turn off your phone and get a seperate one for personal use

If my manager is off and something can't wait then I go to her boss.

Is that not feasible for you?

This is really why you need a separate work phone. Xxx