Asking colleagues not to contact me on AL

[Sooverwork]

I’ve name changed for this post. I’m a manager in which I am almost on call 24/7 with no compensation . After 4.5 years I’m exhausted as have no respite. I am going on annual leave for less than 2 weeks . I do all the usual things - delegate work to the alleged 2 “ second in charge “, have an out of office reply on etc . However even with a “ Do Not Disturb” on my phone I still have the second in charge (s) texting me . This happens all the time even if I have a scheduled day off for doctors / elderly parent appt. I can’t go on like this anymore . How do I inform them NOT to contact me on my leave and not sound like a bitch . Please note that I never do this to either of them or any other member of my staff . With these two it’s a bit of a combination of laziness , not wanting to be responsible but for reasons I don’t want to go into I can’t sack or denote either of them . I just need to make it clear that I do not want to be contacted . Sorry for rant !

Looks like your 2nd in command is not up to the job or does not have the confidence to do it or the people below him do not have confidence in him.

What would happen if (god forbid) you were in hospital or even resigned, someone would have to step into the breach.

Actually this broke me in the end worked in the NHS , 24hr responsibility and a senior manager who believed that meant you had to always contactable .
I really wish I had taken a much firmer line but you get suckered into the behaviour.
What my dh did was he booked places with no Internet, poor phone signal but that was easier a few yrs ago .
Good luck it's so important to have a proper break .

Leave your phone at home and get a burner for emergencies or block them before you go

They ring you BECAUSE you answer.
Stop.
You should not be putting this amount of hours in, it's not healthy.
Email them saying you're OOO, and copy your manager in.
Then ignore calls, texts, emails.
Your LM should be their contact in your absence.

That's literally what my manager says to us
Last time I got "unless the place is on fire, someone has a gun or there is free pizza, I don't want to know"

I suggest you have a face-to-face meeting with them outlining your expectations. Then e-mail them a summary and CC your LM. Under no circumstances tell them that they should contact you if x happens, they will use this as wiggle room.

I would tell them that you’re on leave and for the duration of that leave you will not be in contact, so no point in trying to reach you. Then turn your phone off for the duration - if you absolutely have to turn it back on don’t answer anything work related. It may not seem ‘polite’ but frankly it’s the only way to get the message across. Every time you answer a work query while you’re on leave, you’re reinforcing the fact that you don’t mean what you say about no contact. You really do need to invest in a separate work phone that you can just switch off and forget when you’re on holiday.

In the short term, be really clear, both in person and in writing:

"I am completely disconnecting from all work issues during my leave, so please don't call or message me for any reason. If there are any emergencies or areas where you are unsure, you can talk to OM or [Soover's Boss]. If there are any truly urgent issues I need to know about, [Soover's Boss] has agreed to be the one to contact me.

"For the future I'd like this to be the standard approach to all leave in the team - annual leave is important to recharge and avoid burnout, and I'm keen that we all respect each other's time away from the office."

Longer term it sounds like they would benefit from more detailed performance management around behaviours as well as the quality of their work.

I’m really sorry to hear about your dad.

Gently, I don’t think anyone’s been horrible. They’ve been firm, and some of the criticism it’s necessarily implied about your potential management style is difficult to hear I imagine, but I think it’s necessary to have considered the options in order to help you resolve this.

If it’s definitely not the case that there is something lacking in their training or their confidence to act autonomously, and you’re certain that you haven’t fallen into the trap of micromanaging a bit/ falling into the martyrdom trap, which would all be issues for you to address as a good manager, then I really would advise starting the search for a new role. Cos if you’re doing everything right and they’re STILL acting up and there’s no possibility to discipline them or escalate a behaviour plan or just get rid, then this sounds horribly stressful and something that you’re only gonna resolve by removing yourself.

In the meantime - for sure, work phone, off and left in the office, personal phone, with all annoying colleague’s numbers blocked. out of offices with clear escalation directions :) good luck!

Sorry I am not available for work related issues as I will be on annual leave from give dates. So please refer any queries to x.

I set my out of office to "if you need to contact me, don't."

Then turn off my work phone

And if someone dies call an ambulance and if the office goes up in smoke call the fire brigade

OP, just dont respond, dont answer.

If it's a work phone, leave the work phone with your deputy when you are away,

If it's your personal phone, tell them not to contact you on your personal phone when you are away.

If they contact you on your personal phone having been told the above, do not answer or engage with any messages while you are away, until you return back to work. Then when you return tell them to send the same messages to your work phone.

‘Hi. I’m on annual leave. Good luck.’ Surely that should suffice if you get a text? You’re careful to be super polite to people who leech your time and can’t be arsed to ask the right cover person or figure it out themselves. You’re a kind person but you deserve your time off and boundaries. I’m sorry to hear about your dad

Exactly this.

OP, you are a manager, manage your staff by telling them what they should not be doing, especially^^ contacting you for trivial things while you are on annual leave.

This ^^

If the two people deputising or acting up in your absence are faced with a situation they don't know how to deal with, you should instruct them - very clearly - to refer to your manager. Or to a manager on the same level as you.

(Obviously you make sure that your manager is aware of this before you leave...)

They should never be contacting you on leave.

I've never understood why people take their work 'phones with them on leave or seem to think that they have to be contactable all the time. They don't.

If you were back at work and you got run over by a 'bus they'd just have to get on with it on their own. This is'nt really any different.

Believe me many of the staff have said the same thing to me . Hopefully they would find an external candidate who is capable . I’ was the external candidate - that’s why these two never got the promotion . These two are clearly not capable at the moment despite coaching . One in particular is not fit for purpose - full of bluff , drama Queen , a gossip . I’ve also reached the conclusion that I’ve given it my all , designed protocols and practices but will leave when an opportunity interests me. I had one earlier this year but was looking after an ill family member and didn’t think it was the right time.

If you were struck down at work OP and was in a coma or non responsive in hospital for weeks on end, there would be no handover and the rest of the staff would just have to do their jobs and deputise for you

Thats how you have to see your annual leave, you are not around, not contactable, not available. If messages pop up on your phone you have to have the strength to delete them before you read the full message and then do not respond under any circumstances.

Base on your latest update OP, why on earth do you care if either of these employees think you are a bitch ?

Your OOO message is funny, I laughed 🤣🤣🤣

I don’t care about either of them . They’ve both been told in their PMPs that they are lacking with examples and required action. Also by management above me. As I intend to include the OM in it I didn’t want to appear to be rude.

Your plan can't be that watertight if it ultimately relies on one individual to be on call 24/7. That's just not sustainable. Why are there no rosters? Even if you are the only person who does your "day job", is it not possible to train people in some of the emergency response elements?

I

I dont know what OP does, and its not particularly relevant to the query she has, but lots of statutory public services are run like this, there is no funding for them, the public want more and more and more and want to pay less and less for it

That might be the sort of job OP has and you either accept thats your line of work while you're there or not.

However she is on annual leave so very much 'not there', so isnt required to be on call

I'm on annual leave and will not be contactable. I'm not taking my phone as I need a break so don't even try to contact me.

This!