Suspended from work!

[BeckiF]

Maybe W & R can help me here. I am a manager and went back to work today after Xmas break and was taken straight up to the conference room where a string of allegations were made against me and I have been suspended on full pay. The allegations range from the ridiculous (i.e we only play my choice of music in the office, when I'm in a bad mood the office suffers etc. etc.) to the serious (i.e I have touched this male member of staff on the back of the neck. We are a tactile office and there are others far more tactile than I).

I am devestated and in utter shock. I am not able to talk to anyone from work except my director, and yet this guy remains at work and could be saying goodness know what. I've been there 2 years and he has been there 6 months and has already been moved from one dept as he wasn't up to scrathc and I agreed to have him in my office! This is the thanks I get.

What is my position?

I'm glad you are being strong and positive - I am sure you are lovely - I wouldn't give this sort of advice to anyone I thought was as awful as the allegations imply!!. Be calm, don't be rushed into anything, question them about anything you don't understand and stand your ground until it is clarified - ask for copies of evidence and if they are relying on evidence from employees, ask for them to come to a bit of the hearing so that you can ask them about the evidence they have given (eg are the witness statements their own words? dates and times of events they claim to have witnessed etc). If you feel that you are getting too emotional - say that you need a bit of privacy for a few minutes while the hearing is adjourned and if they ask why, tell them.

I don't know how I'd feel confronting my own team whom I thought were freinds about their statements. I'm trying to stay brave & strong but inside Im a wreck, hence why I am going to be relying on a script.

Becki. Sorry that I haven't been keeping up with this. sis is great as I'm sure you realise and her advice is spot on. Wish you the best of luck with this.

Becki, remember that you employers will also be very nervous! If you are going to go to the disciplinary hearing then you may as well do it properly - at least prepare a few questions for your colleagues and then if you really don't feel able to ask them, leave them but if you are able to question them, then at least you will be prepared.

Becki, I will be at work all day tomorrow but if you CAT me your contact number, I will call you tomorrow evening if you would like to talk.

Isn't Sis fab?
Becki, we all believe you. Good luck and try to be strong. This is shit for you and I would feel like crumbling too, but don't let them do this to you!

I have some questions for my emploers but couldn't face the girls that have said things against me. I may call one though as she says she witnessed an incident outside of work and I'd love to know what this incident was and what bearing she think it has on our working day.

I think you should ask for some of your colleagues to attend for you to question, even if you just ask very basic questions - it would be interesting to see their reactions/body language. I am sure some of them will be very uncomfortable, especially if you thought you had a good working relationship with them before.

BeckiF - not much to add really, sounds like you are as prepared as you can be. You have done all the right things so far and know where your arguments lie.

Don't let them rattle you and try to remember a few important rules: 1)always let them finish speaking, even if they are saying things that are totally untrue becuase jumping in over people will make you look defensive and as if you want to stop them saying it 2)don't lose your temper/swear, no matter what they say, as it is the easiest way to get someone out the door if thats what they want 3)go at YOUR speed not theirs, so if you need a break for a minute or want to gather your thoughts, go to the loo and breathe for 5 minutes 4) do not be under the illusion that they are not as nervous as you are, procedures like this can potentially cost the company a fortune if they say the wrong thing or get the process wrong.

Lastly, remember you are not on your own with all this and even though we are all miles away - we are thinking of you and wishing you all the best. We know you are not the person they claim you to be, as do all your real friends and family so remember that. Hope that helps a bit....

Good luck Becki. Hope it all works out for you. I'm waiting on a date for a grievance meeting and I'm nervous as hell so you have my sympathies.

Good luck Becki

Is the hearing today?
Good luck Becki x

good luck becki xxx

Sis is very fab.

Hang in there, Becki.

Hearing is tomorrow at 10.00am. I will spend much of the day reading my statement outloud as practise and fine tuning it. That's as much as I can do! I'm nervous about asking my colleagues about their statements as they have clearly lied, or exagergated the truth if you like, and are unlikely to revoke what they said are they? Although I do see that putting them on the spot face to face as it is would make them uncomfortable.

Becki, good luck. Think Sis has been brilliant here . Thinking of you today.

Well good luck for tomorrow, be strong and let us know how you get on x

Thinking of you tomorrow too. Could you ask your colleagues very bland-seeming questions - for example on the touching of him and another colleague - did either of them ever touch other people playfully? Did the little sh*t complaining touch you or any other members of staff? Ask for records of other staff's internet usage to be compared with yours.

Stay as calm as you can (can you take notes? This would buy you a little time and give you a record for later) and remain professional.

Becki - I don't have a message via mumsnet with your phone number yet!

As others have said - if all you can ask is if they you repeat what they claimed in their statements - I am sure you will want to ask them stuff once the hearing gets going so please don't miss the opportunity to have them available in case you want to ask questions.

Agree with all the other advice you have received here and, of course, you have my support.

Hve sent you a msg sis!

good luck for tomorrow, becki. I have just read this thread and seen what good advice you have been given. Your back-stabbing colleagues sound the pits.

I have attended some tricky disciplinary meetings in my time and defended myself, minus representation - and won. I agree that you must do things at your own pace, listen to what is being said, stay calm when you answer, ask for a break or for a question to be repeated if you need it. I found myself getting quite detached. Once I saw my then line manager facing me, spouting untrue allegations, I lost any respect for him. By questioning him carefully and persistantly, it was easier to prove him wrong. He dug himself a deeper and deeper hole. I spent more time questioning him than talking about me. In my case attack became the best form of defence.

Try and draw out more information from the people who are accusing you. Difficult if they are saying hurtful things about your performance or conduct but don't let them skirt round the issues at all. You need to be clear exactly what facts they are basing their claims on. And agree with others here - definitely see how these facts compare to other people they employ.

It really sounds like a stitch-up to me. You need to see exactly what their motives are in accusing you, so you can defend yourself properly. Make them be the bad guys, don't let them get away with being too nice and vague as they follow procedures.

Good luck! and I am really surprised and saddened that the union weren't more helpful.

Becki - I agree - it might be helpful to ask colleagues to repeat their allegations. People are often more nervous of doing this face to face than on paper.

Your colleagues might have given a statement on the basis that, if they did, your employers wouldn't need to call them to give verbal evidence - indeed your employers might even have told them this. However, you should be allowed to call them regardless of any written statement and you may find that they are not prepared to say what they were prepared to write.

good point, freckle.