Help me I fancy my boss, did he initiate?

[Allwelcone]

So annoyingly, this has happened. I love my newish job (10months) and wd usually ignore any of this nonsense. But the thought that HE pushed at the door has made symptoms worse, and I have trouble staying calm and not thinking about him .

On day 2 I remember him turning and double take and thinking 'uh-oh i dont want any troube' b/c i know that look iykwim. Took me out for a special training session, albeit with my lm present. Then he talked to me all evening at a social, rang me up very keen to say he wanted to take me to a certain site and saying how much certain clients will "fall in love" with me.
Fine at the next 2 socials as I wasn't near him but at the last one I was actually pleased to sit opposite him and I got the feeling he was trying to impress me. He didnt make eye contact when I greeted him recently.

Please talk sense in to me and feel free to hate on me as much as you want, we are both married w kids. I don't want to feel like this. But there's a part of me that does....it is flattering.
Am I imagining it?

Flattering? It's Colin the Office Sex Pest stuff.

You’re both married with kids, and he’s your boss. The level of MESS this would cause is off the charts.

Do not act on this. How are you even considering it?

Is it though? Is it not jist his manner or "fluffing" as in getting his employees to do his bidding? He rings some of them at like 7.30 sometimes. So confused.

Just be a grown up and get over yourself.

Stamp it out. Now.
Your family.
His family.
Office gossip.
No good will come of this, no matter how tempting the ego stroke.

I don’t really understand what you have written as it’s hard to follow but don’t shag your married boss unless you want to be out of a job.

It’s hard to say - what’s he like with everyone else? Could he be just keen to have someone new on the team to introduce to people or does he give you attention he doesn’t give to other people of a similar level?

Either way, I would say just avoid being flattered, getting carried away and ending up in a situation you’ll regret.

Ultimately, flirting back or dwelling on it or encouraging it is to enter dangerous territory.

@AzureSheep yes 100% you're right. I'd never act on it but my stupid heart/ego is like a flipping teenager

Sorry, I'm missing all the signs that point to him wanting to shag you?

Can you be a bit clearer please?

Are you aged 12. Seriously grow up.

@lmnop22 yes and a total waste of time. My head knows this. I need a cold shower for my senses.

I’m not sure of the signs either, seems to me you fancy him and really want him to fancy you and want us to tell you what, that he does?

Nothing that you wrote indicates he fancies you.

Aperol ok so nowt there, crap I'M the sex starved saddo who needs to work on her own marriage. I actually needed to hear that.

@roseyjane yes i cpuld risk totally embarrassing myself. I just got a feeling that his chat was trying to impress and he looked extremely...I don't know, impressed at me at one point amd tells me a lot about himself.

Is it wishful thinking, that’s what you want to see, so that’s what you see? Is he not nice to everyone?

Just sounds like normal work stuff to me “clients will love you” and “you are great” and those kind of phrases are to boost your confidence and engage you with the team / company / client so you’ll do a good job!

You have a bit of a crush and hoping he does too (but nothing you’ve written indicates he reciprocates)

OP I get sudden forbidden attraction but try and think of your job if nothing else, it shouldn't be so but the woman always comes off worse gossip-wise and professionally speaking.

Is he worth risking everything ?

I think we all recognise that look when we receive it.

Op,is your marriage in a bad way? Fancying the boss is fairly cringe, and rhe things you describe are not signs of something, clients will love you, Christ my boss tells me clients love me all the time, I’ve never seen it as code for I want to shag uou. The double take is likely oh that’s rhe new employee. Trying to impress you though, that’s weird, even if he did fancy you he’s not a teenager.

Did he do the double take and you’ve now run away with if, assuming he fancies you and reading something into everting he does, when the dude is likely happily married and just being work friendly>

Yes and yes this is wjat I need to hear. My marriage is going through a dull phase tbh and I'm thrilled with new job it's exiting and the best thing in my life right now

He didnt make eye contact when I greeted him recently

does that not tell you you are being obvious and he is uncomfortable with it?

How do you know he's not just a sleaze who tries this with every new starter

What? I thought you said you’d kids?