Guy in the office asking my coworker why I finished an hour early

[user1471867483]

The same guy (who isn't my boss or isn't part of our division - he only has to use our office btw) who asked my coworker a month ago where I lived has now asked her why I left an hour early. Well, I had an appt which I ran past my boss which was all fine by my boss and I am only answerable to her, but this guy keeps asking my coworker why I left early, which clearly isn't any of his business. She tells him if he has any questions to ask me himself, but he never does.
Shall I challenge him or leave it?

I'd ask the coworker to stop reporting everything he is doing / saying to you tbh. It's weird behaviour from both of them

Just leave it it's none of his business.

Wanting your address is the weird bit.

Asking about leaving early is nosy but not unusual.

Do you feel concerned about his interest in you specifically or just that he's being rude? That might determine the best course of action.

Co worker sounds a stirrer tbh, no reason for them to tell you at all.

Yes, I said to her that it's confidential and none of his business. OK, I'll just leave it now. Thank you to you and Uncooperativefingers.

ughhh another one who values presenteeism over productivity.
don’t waste your breath on arseholes like this. He should butt put of your business and do some work.

Wouldn’t even register on my radar.

‘where does so and so live?’ ‘X town’. No issue.

‘how come x left early?’ ‘Dunno’. No issue.

Tell him he’s putting your colleague in an awkward position by asking about your personal life.

When he asked where you lived was it like : Does user147 live out in town? Saw her heading towards railway station.
Or was it: Do you know user147’s address? Can you tell me?

Is there a chance that he is interested in you but want to check first if you are in relationship or a lesbian?

Your colleague's stirring, trying to make you think this guy has an unhealthy interest in you. What he's asked is meaningless stuff and wouldn't be noticed by most people.

As pp said, these sorts of questions are standard office chat - I've asked people where someone else lives and I'd probably ask if I noticed someone had left a bit early. I'm not particularly interested, but it's something to say when you're bored and looking for a distraction at work.

No idea, but it feels intrusive. I have nothing to do with the guy only to share the office. I have no dealings with him.

I’m going to go against the grain and say it’s perfectly normal to be curious about that. If someone in our office appeared to have different hours from the rest of us I might ask the same question. “It’s been agreed by the boss” would be a sufficient explanation.

As a worker you want to feel assured that everyone is broadly being treated fairly. Maybe he has circumstances that means he’d like to apply to do the same. Who knows? But I don’t think it’s the intrusive question you think it is.

Same for me.

The weirder bit is your coworker telling you all this. That's the part you need to tackle if you do decide to do anything. I wouldn't dream of saying to my colleague, "Dave asked where you lived so I did/didn't tell him". What's the point of that?

Perhaps he just wanted to know if he could turn the radio off now.

Is this the same guy who asked why you were wearing boots?

Something seems strange here and I think it’s OP

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/work/5074684-guy-in-office-asking-my-coworker-why-im-wearing-boots-today

Different guy and different situ. The nosey one wanted to know my exact address a month ago. Creepy. Thank goodness my coworker said she didn't know it.

I take it back, that is intrusive!

Tell your co worker that you were doing a course about how to deal with nosy co workers.

He sounds like a creep
i would challenge directly ideally in front of others…

where were you asking X for my home address?

why are the hours I work relevant to you when we don’t work together directly?

What about the radio guy, who keeps turning the radio down?

Did he ask once about why you left working or was he asking repeatedly? Once might just be curiosity but repeatedly is weird especially when taken with wanting to know your exact address.

Well on one occasion he wanted to know why I didn't say bye to him when I already gave a general 'bye' to all when I left for the evening. It's just weird.

He doesn't intrude, but he's another kettle of fish. The radio thing is over - seems it's all forgotten about now. I think he was just having a tough day. Radio on btw!!

As a worker you want to feel assured that everyone is broadly being treated fairly. Maybe he has circumstances that means he’d like to apply to do the same. Who knows? But I don’t think it’s the intrusive question you think it is.

I disagree. If I have personal circumstances I want taking into consideration I'll approach my line manager directly. It isn't my business, nor do I want to know, the reasons why colleagues may have done the same. This is the reason line managers have that responsibility, and I've opted for a different route to career progression than people managing.

OP, the colleague who keeps reporting these intrusive (yes, they are) questions may well be a stirrer. S/he might also be concerned about the questioning given this isn't a one-off and possibly hints beyond an idle curiosity. I think in your position I would want to be informed. This is making you uncomfortable, and that's the only consideration necessary. On other threads you'd be told we have a gut instinct for a reason and to listen to it.

Maybe no reason for fear here; you're in a well-populated office. But be wary, and don't have anything more to do with this guy than you can help. If nothing else, he's a nosy arse, and one thing I cannot abide is gossips.

Thank you so much. Your reply has helped me more that words can say.