How do I support DH - redundancy & job hunting

[changedmyname24]

DH got made redundant in January & has been job searching ever since. He's 47 & was in TV, which is virtually impossible to get work in.

He's been trying all sorts but not much joy. Had an interview for a local authority job last week with good money, but didn't get that.

He has been offered a 15 hours per week job on just about NMW, but it's not enough. On the plus side, would give him plenty of free time to focus on writing, but that's about it. We are just about getting by on my wage plus Universal Credit & DLA, but it's hard.

He was a bit depressed before as his job was not good before he got made redundant & I'm scared this will set him back again. It can't be easy always looking & not much happening or succeeding.

Any tips on how I can support him much appreciated, also just good to get it out, not so easy to talk irl.

I would support the part time job as a stop gap it still leaves plenty of time for job hunting something else and writing.

Sometimes you just have to be blunt. If you need money, any amount, earning something doing whatever is just what you have to do .

Has he exhausted all of his TV leads? There is more TV being made now than ever before.

Depending what his skill set was in TV can he transfer skills to event management, or theatre, or festivals for the summer?

In the meantime whilst he is at home can he help save money there, cleaning the windows if you have a window cleaner, batch cooking, selling clothes or other items on Hinted/eBay?

Thanks. I am trying to be supportive & reiterate that it's better than nothing, but it's hard.

He is constantly reaching out to his TV connections, but he says that 80% of people he knows from that industry are no longer in it. There is just not funding for programmes any more, lots are recycled programmes & for a writer that's not great!

He is looking at all sorts of other jobs, but the market in general seems to be very competitive atm.

He tried going to the auction the other day to see if he could buy stuff to sell on. He thinks it would be possible but would require an initial outlay & we are just surviving. I am selling what I can on Vinted etc but it doesn't bring in much.

He is also very aware of our own mortality atm & wants to have lots of experiences & travel before DS1 (15) leaves home. He is rather depressed that we can't do that, which I can understand but it's just not so realistic.

We have different mindsets in a way. I think we will be ok, he is not happy with being ok & getting by. He wants more & that means he gets quite depressed about how things are.

How about training to be a secondary school English teacher? I am assuming he has a degree, but his experience would be great in a classroom and male secondary English teachers are gold dust. Yes it would be challenging but he would never be out of work, he might not only inspire young minds but be inspired by them.

Sounds like you are being supportive OP, bluntly, the world doesn't owe anyone a living, it normal to have goals and desires but accepting you are where you are at this moment, little bump in the road, and just getting on with something else for the time being, is just what you have to do. What everyone has to do. None of us are special in that regardless.

Personally I would try a bit of tough love and encouragement combined. I would make him take the 15 hours under the argument "what else is there right now" possibly suggesting that wage is put towards a summer holiday.

Much easier to find a job when you've got a job. The gap on his CV is just going to get longer and longer, so I'd advise him to take anything remotely suitable as a stop gap, and keep looking

If he's a writer, how about film, adverts, comedy, scripts for corporate gigs etc? Take the minimum wage job then use the other hours to write, how about a novel based on inside knowledge of the tv world???

He tried going to the auction the other day to see if he could buy stuff to sell on. He thinks it would be possible but would require an initial outlay & we are just surviving. I am selling what I can on Vinted etc but it doesn't bring in much.

He is also very aware of our own mortality atm & wants to have lots of experiences & travel before DS1 (15) leaves home.

I'm sorry you as a family are going through this but honestly, he sounds like he's living in lala land......

No job, wanting to buy stuff. From what? Not your income I hope.

Wanting to travel and have experiences? I get it. I did it and still doing it. But you need a really good income to do it. Plus back up. Savings etc.

He needs a reality check and a new job, even stacking shelves at night, or whatever. Dustman? Why not? We would drown under the rubbish if not for them.

Not really giving your son a great role model, is he? Why are you putting up with this?

People working in the movie/television business (must be amazing, but it's not reality if you lose your job....) think they are the bees knees, but life changes and you have to grab the opportunities that come along, whatever they may be. You can't carry him for ever OP.

May sound harsh but I feel for you having to "carry" the family. Not fair on you or your son. Nor great for his future either, you don't want him repeating this pattern in his own life. Really hope your husband gets a reality check OP.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/jobs?keywords=remote+jobs&workplace=remote

Hybrid and remote jobs in the charity sector

I think he's trying various different things but getting frustrated. I can't imagine how demoralising job hunting must be & so it's important to have something to dream about. The idea behind buying to sell is to start off very small & build up from there, just to get some extra cash in. But it seems you need to invest a lot.

He has looked at all manner of writing jobs but nothing is working at the moment.

I have forwarded him the link & he is looking at that, thanks.

I think he will take the minimum wage job, just a shame it's not more, but it's better than nothing.

You are not alone in trying to support your husband, I am in the fresh hell that is the consultation period with my husband at risk. I don’t even earn enough to cover the mortgage on my own. It’s only been two weeks but I feel totally drained with trying to boost and motivate him. His whole team is for the chop so unlikely to remain employed at the end.

Anything in TV is a risk these days. There is a reason none of the people he knows work in the industry anymore.

Does he have any residuals coming in, anything from repeat fees that you can budget with?

Has he thought about TicTok or YouTube, maybe do a few shorts and see what reaction he gets, he may need to tap up some students studying film, but it might be worth a go.

Viva La Dirt League started out as just a skit by some friends, they filmed it at night, in a real electronics store, to save money on props, but look at where they are now.

Immediately, could he sign on with an agency for shift work?

Yes, it would likely be "below" his desired position, but at least it would be money coming in.

My DH got made redundant at the end of last year and it's awful. Nothing in his sector at all. All his connections have come to nothing, no one is hiring.

He has applied literally for about 400 jobs but they have come to nothing. I think there are so many people out of work that companies demand and can get an exact fit whereas previously companies would take a chance and rely on transferable skills. In this current job market transferable skills don't seem to count for anything.

He has days of being positive to being down and I'm the same. Its horrendous like a never ending roller coaster of emotion.

In the last 2 weeks he done some Forex trading as well as applying for jobs and that has helped give him something to focus on.
Sorry you are going through this. It's really tough.

Forex trading is a mugs game. Keep an extremely close eye on exactly how much he is gambling (and it is gambling no matter how much he insists it isn't) or you'll be starting a thread in a few months about how he's blown all your savings and/or got deep in debt.

He needs to keep applying for jobs.

I was made redundant when covid hit at 55yrs old. I applied for 143 jobs with lots of interviews. On the 144th application I got the job.

Dh needs to have faith and keep on applying.

Delivery drivers for supermarket delivery's are often advertising

I'm taking voluntary redundancy from my role, so a different financial situation, but yes the job market is not great at the minute from what I've experienced so far. However this time last year it was ridiculously buoyant so I can only hope it changes again.

Maybe he could invest in a copy of "What colour is my parachute " which has some great tips about staying positive and job search techniques. He may also need to consider how his skills are portable and what else he can do as his original career path has contracted.

The minimum wage part time job is at least getting him out of the house and earning some money. He is actually lucky to be offered such a position as mostly people get told they are over qualified for roles like that.

Oh and be it Forex training or reselling antiques, when someone isn't bringing any money into the household, it's never a good idea for them to use savings to try and make money. That should be more of a side hustle when the pot is being replenished.

DH likes to collect berries and make his own wine and logs for the fire. These are free hobbies that get him out of the house.

I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope your husband is not made redundant, and if he is I hope you get through it ok. Sending hugs.

That all sounds so familiar 😔 Sending hugs & solidarity.

Sorry one other thing from me, the fact he got to interview for a well paid council job suggests he has got good transferable skills, also that his CV is good enough to get him to interviews for that type of position.

He could target his search for similar roles and work on his interview technique. If he hasn't done so already it's worth asking for interview feedback and reiterating how keen he would be if any similar vacancies came up in future.

Reselling is flooded these days, you see tips online and I think it’s hard to make a decent living it’s more for an extra income stream.

He needs to take the PT job and job hunt.

My friend's BF used to buy at auction to resell but he has really good knowledge around the stuff he was buying, he is a builder.

Would he drive a lorry? Get his heavy goods license - there's always well paid work in that sector.

are you commutable to London or Reading?

He can commute to London if necessary. Although it's rather expensive!

Actually let me put a different spin on it.
As someone who is job hunting I appreciate it when DH does things like saying well done for getting x applications in, and is really positive about my skills and says he has faith I will find a good job in the future.

I would also encourage him to take breaks from job seeking, say at least one day at the weekend where he doesn't look at LinkedIn. It can become all consuming.

Teaching is an option if he has a degree.

Or talk to all the local advertising, PR and creative agencies. Writing content for web sites, writing ad campaigns for small companies, corporate videos etc might be a possibility.

Or local government maybe.

I was made redundant at 57 (thanks Covid) and it took 7 months to find a new job but I got there in the end. If I were him I'd take the 15 hours a week and use the rest of the time to job-hunt.

See it as a career break to de-stress. Plenty of people do it for their health. I redecorated my house while I had the time.