How do I support DH - redundancy & job hunting

[changedmyname24]

DH got made redundant in January & has been job searching ever since. He's 47 & was in TV, which is virtually impossible to get work in.

He's been trying all sorts but not much joy. Had an interview for a local authority job last week with good money, but didn't get that.

He has been offered a 15 hours per week job on just about NMW, but it's not enough. On the plus side, would give him plenty of free time to focus on writing, but that's about it. We are just about getting by on my wage plus Universal Credit & DLA, but it's hard.

He was a bit depressed before as his job was not good before he got made redundant & I'm scared this will set him back again. It can't be easy always looking & not much happening or succeeding.

Any tips on how I can support him much appreciated, also just good to get it out, not so easy to talk irl.

He was in his last job for almost 2 years, which is a long time for the TV industry- it was a commercial job which he had not really done before. Normally he was on contracts, anything from 1 day to I think 6 months. He also got most previous contracts by networking, rather than applying with a CV, he says it's very much how the industry works. But now most of his contacts are in the same position, so it doesn't work any more. He is keeping in touch with them & approached an ex-client once his redundancy exclusion clause finished, they would happily give him some work but they don't have any right now, but he has scheduled in to email them every 6 weeks.

I'm not sure what his CV is like, maybe I should look too, although I have no idea.

He has thought about training as a teacher but I don't think it would be great for us as a family. Youngest is starting secondary school next year so we only have 8 years of being tied to school holidays & really don't want to extend that! I wonder about maybe classes/workshops to teach his skills (filming, stop motion etc) but he says this would cost to train in & we just don't have that.

I'm trying so hard to be positive & believe something good will happen because if I don't I think either our marriage or I will break down 😥

If teaching is something he is interested in, and your main concern is the school holidays,then I would support him. There are downsides to most careers, and at least the holidays in teaching are generous, if not when you would choose them to be.

Hi OP, just another angle. I worked with a very well qualified QS/Project Manager/Senior Manager (think huge building projects) and he was made redundant. He ended up getting a job as a Tesco delivery driver. He looks back now and says it was the happiest time of his life in terms of job satisfaction, and he also lost about 2 stone in weight. Sometimes the things we end up in turn out to be not the worst things.

This is pretty close to what he does now, but unfortunately it's not enough hours to stop him having to go to the Job Centre every week & therefore be able to free his mind to do some writing. Nor does it stimulate his mind which is so important for him. Plus the hours put more pressure on the family as a whole & particularly me. It is better than nothing but narrowly.

I have just suggested that we put some of the money we get from our car insurance payout (£2k) towards some career coaching sessions, as he talks a lot about feeling lost & not knowing what he is doing or who he is 😔. I don't know how much they cost but hopefully that should cover it. We were going to use it to pay off a credit card completely, but we are making regular payments & it is going down, so I think we should prioritise this. He seems receptive to the idea, which is positive.

It wasn't ridiculously bouyant in my sector a year ago, or that of many others.

Job market has been terrible for coming up to 2 years now.

DH was made redundant during Covid, luckily I was able to get plenty of extra hours (NHS) which helped but nowhere near made up the shortfall.

DH got carers advice from our local careers service and uploaded his CV to several job search websites. He took a job as a delivery driver to keep a sense of routine and purpose. His first interview didn’t go well - it was over 20 years since he’d had one but he took on board the feedback and learnt from it. His transferable skills eventually got him into a different type of job to his previous one but it’s actually turned out really well and he’s more motivated now than ever and earning slightly more too.

i would concentrate on your DH working somewhere rather than nowhere - there are loads of seasonable jobs being advertised atm while looking out for something more suited in the long run. Good luck, it’s a very stressful time

He is now doing a part time, minimum wage job but it's not enough for his confidence & mental health.

Has he had support and advice from your local Careers service? They were really helpful for DH

I think it would be worth looking at his CV.

In his situation I would have three or four different versions, tailored according to whatever jobs he is applying for; work in the TV industry doesn't scream transferrable skills so he needs to be creative with his CV emphasising different parts of the positions he has undertaken.

I would keep his main CV for roles related to his current industry then one CV geared towards office / CS roles really focussing on planning, project management and communication and one for minimum wage jobs which might be a bit more simplified as a lot of retail roles don't want people who are clearly there as a stop gap.

So sorry to hear OP. That's a great plan to reach out to career consultants. Good luck with everything!

Here are a few that focus on TV:

https://www.behindthescenes.london/career-coaching/

https://www.reflectionscareercoaching.co.uk/career-coaching

https://brendansheppardexecutivecoaching.wordpress.com/executive-coaching/

https://dynamicpotential.com

https://www.executiveconnexions.com

https://www.hudinicoaching.com

https://www.carolekirschner.com

Well, DH finally had a job interview today 🥳 Which is obviously fantastic.

However - I'm not feeling great about it 🙈 It's in London & by the time we factor in the reduction in Universal Credit & the massive train fares to commute in, we will only be about £220 per month better off. For this, he will be out of the house 7-7, with 'occasional' evenings. He can't clarify how many or how late.

So it essentially means I will be doing all the home stuff as well as working. The home stuff has ramped up a gear as DS2'S medical situation is worse & DS1 is doing extra learning sessions for his GCSEs, so that makes an extra school run every day.

I am encouraging DH & told him that if he is happy, that is what matters. But he doesn't seem excited about the job either. He seems pretty fed up tonight, in fact. But anyway, it is progress that he got this interview!

I really feel for you OP, I don't have much advice to offer but just wanted to say you seem to be doing the best that you can in a really shitty situation.

I know it seems like a lot of logistics and effort for "just" £220 a month but that will provide some extra breathing room- it's possibly two weeks shopping or a few bill payments.

Plus it will hopefully be more relevant on your husband's CV than his current NMW job and is more likely to lead to more opportunities? Hopefully it will help him feel less depressed as well, but it seems like you need to decide as a couple if all of that is worth the extra pressures it puts on you.

Did he hear anything back yet?

This likely isn’t an option with the support needed for your DC’s, but if DH needs to work in London then if he can find a Mon-Fri rental he will be able to keep hold of more of his Universal Credit.

If he could show he now had to pay say £700 a month in London Mon-Fri rent, then that would be covered by UC. No need to tell the landlord about the UC when visiting the room.

But commuting in and spending £700 a
month on a tube and travel card, rather unfairly he loses from his UC with no consideration of his transport costs.

The £220 net he’s left with could easily be swallowed up on clothes for the office, coffee and lunches. But getting back into the environment could help with his next job so it’s likely still worth doing if he gets the job!

Surprised people can qualify for housing costs when they already have another home, would they not expect him to commute?

Not saying you are wrong just surprised this can happen

I’m not 100% if it would be allowed anyway.

It would depend on which place the UC decision maker thinks is DH’s home.

If his home is where his wife & kids live, even if he’s only there at weekends, then he wouldn’t be able to get the UC housing element paid for his weekday lodgings.

He hasn't yet heard about the job in London, thinks maybe tomorrow. But, to my relief, he has decided he won't take it if offered. Instead he will ask again about more hours at existing job & use the extra free time to concentrate on writing. He has had some positive feedback recently & feels mentally strong enough to give it a go. We are managing financially & actually paying off our debts, so in time there will be some money that doesn't need to go to that.

I am happy with the idea as I feel he can support more at home. DS2'S medical situation is now even worse so I do need support. And DH just seems a lot happier for having made the decision & has said he will set up a shed in the garden to work from etc.

OP here. I am sad to say that I am updating this thread again & not with good news 😔

It's pretty much a year since DH was made redundant. He's been doing a NMW driving job for about 8 months, 15 hours per week. Between that, UC, DLA & my job, we have enough money coming in but are not well off.

The main problem is DH's mental health. He is still finding it so tough. He has good days & bad days. Today is a very bad day. He is so down. He says he feels lost & I do understand that.

I have tried telling him that as we are Ok financially, there is no pressure, but I think he feels useless & not needed. He swings wildly between various ideas & projects, from comedy performances to writing & other things in between. But doesn't seem to stick with any one thing. He is currently attending a comedy improv course hoping that he will make connections & get his name out there. But who knows.

He has also said he wants to focus again on TV work & there are more jobs appearing now. But he has been out of non-commercial TV for a few years now, as his job was commercial. So he doesn't know many people there any more & that was how he got contracts before.

It was also his birthday this week & he only got 3 cards, 2 of which were me & the DC, so I wonder if that has affected him.

He has been talking about selling our house & moving further North, but I don't know if this would help. I would find it very tough.

We are just out of a super tough few months with medical issues for DS2, a hospital stay for me & other stuff 😔 I am desperately hoping this year will be better as it is heartbreaking seeing DH like this.

Thank you if you read this, it's good to vent.

@changedmyname24 i am sorry to read your latest update.

I hope I’ve not got this wrong but you DH is a writer, creative and wants a mentally stimulating job.

I know he wants media but has he looked at jobs not in obvious sectors? There are jobs in the public sector that require good written communication and some creativity, no where near what your DH will have had in media, but the challenge may be more mentally stimulating than his current job. As a creative person he may find it stifling but it’s worth a go. He could keep the creative writing for outside work.

The plus sides are potentially better pay, pension & benefits, progression opportunities.
https://www.jobsgopublic.com
https://www.jobs.nhs.uk/candidate
https://www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi

OP, can you say which county you are in? Or where it would be best for him to find a job?

There are openings in commercial video making, production and script writing, for web content and web based marketing. Has he tried some of the commercial video or marketing agencies?

Has he talked to the marketing department of the company he drives for, and made them aware of his skills and experience?

@changedmyname24 just wondered if there are any updates OP? Recently been made redundant myself at a similar age. It's so tough out there.

There are indeed! He got a job doing events for a charity a few months ago. He likes it but doesn't love it. It's interesting enough, but money isn't great & it's not what he trained in. But better than being unemployed.

Keep the faith, it will happen!

I've only just seen this thread for the first time. I also work in TV, and can confirm the landscape is shockingly bad at the moment. So many people out of work. Redundancy is no joke, and unfortunately it can be an industry that prizes youth to an extent. If a show is Y/A skewing - and many are - producers will often be looking for twenty-something creatives to bring that perspective.

There is some good advice on here, however, there are also some posts that are well-intended but don't really have a handle on the reality of the media world. TV writers can't just 'go work in advertising', for example, it's quite a different skillset...and film is just as bad, if not worse, than it for screenwriters seeking work!

OP, not sure you're still checking this thread but would also be curious to hear if you have any kind of update on your DH's situation, and will respond more fully with advice if you still need it

Oh OP - you are here! Great, and so pleased to hear your DH is at least getting some work.

The first thing I was going to suggest was check out working for charities, particularly on the development/fundraising side, where storytelling and communication skills are really valued. So that's interesting...

I'd also recommend keeping on top of reaching out to his TV contacts on a semi-regular basis - without getting annoying of course 😂 You never know when a production team may have just had a commissioning brief, and the timing could be right for one of his ideas/spec scripts. It's all too easy to sink into a hole presuming that nothing will ever work out, and to stop talking to your contacts. Equally, if he has an agent, then ask them to set up some general meetings with new companies - it's something early-career writers historically do of course, but increasingly more experienced writers/freelance development bods are also doing this, because the pickings are so slim and it's always good to meet new people!

Finally, I was talking to another screenwriter about this recently and he was saying the best way to find a balance between the writing struggle and having to earn was to find a part-time job that was as mentally un-taxing as possible to leave him lots of energy for writing. He worked as a (quite well paid) receptionist in the afternoons which left him the mornings free for his craft. He'd get up early to really max out his time. Hope this is all useful and good luck to your DH.