How long to potentially loose her job?

[lilacsky89]

A nursery teacher at my son's nursery had an affair with my husband. A report was sent out by a member of staff and myself a month ago due to breach of conduct, parent/staff relationships.

I'm not sure if she will be sacked or just be given some kind of warning but I wondered how long this process usually takes?

Really hoping she does get the sack as I hate dropping off and worrying I'll bump into her

Also 2 weeks of this month the school was on Easter break so not sure if that makes a difference as I'm not sure if the place they send reports to is still working over Easter or not

Depends on what country you are in and what the terms of her contract are. If she is in breach of contract she can be dismissed almost instantly and would be suspended during any period of investigation.

In the UK however I've never heard of a contract that prevents relationships between staff/parents presuming they are two consenting adults. Totally different to staff/student relationships. I also think you are unreasonable to want her sacked for your own comfort assuming she is good at her job and especially with the crisis in teacher/nursery carers. Ultimately it will be the children who suffer.

I don't think that's a sackable offence but I completely understand you wanting her to be sacked.

How about you focus your anger on the person who actually cheated on you, instead of her.

Totally understand, but I doubt its sackable - maybe under reputation of the nursery?

Did they meet at the nursery?
How did she get his number?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/nurseries/4917161-abuse-of-trust similar post here, may be helpful

https://metro.co.uk/2020/08/04/teacher-sacked-secret-affair-dad-met-parents-evening-13082455/
A primary school teacher was sacked after having a secret affair with the parent of one of her pupils, an employment tribunal heard.

Not sure that’s a sackable offense. Has your marriage ended?

Have you considered moving nurseries?

It's unlikely she'll be sacked for this unless there's more to it. It'd be unlikely that a clause that prevented relationships between parents/staff would be enforceable, providing both were consenting adults and there was nothing else at play. It may well be considered poor practice, but it wouldn't usually be enough to be considered gross misconduct.

If she hasn't been suspended, that speaks volumes, too.

I'm sorry this has happened and it must be really difficult for you. It's also really easy - albeit unfair, and unwise - to project the pain onto the other person, and not the one you trusted and probably live with. I'd be mindful of that. He is the person who broke your trust, and he wasn't wooed away - and even if he was, you'd never be able to let him out of your sight, what if you got a delivery driver he found attractive?! - but it's understandable that you wouldn't want to bump into her, or have her covering a day in your child's room, etc. So for all those reasons, and presuming you are dealing with your husband separately, a new nursery and a fresh start might be a better choice for everyone.

Your husband has had an affair.
He wasn't a passive party in this situation. Put the blame in the right place.

Be careful about the teacher Metro link... it wasn't the affair that was problematic there, by itself. It was the host of behaviour that went with it.

Horrible for you And embarrassing for the nursery but unlikely to be sackable
Have you sacked off your husband ?

Your husband wronged you, yet you want someone else to lose their livelihood for it?

I understand you're upset, but that's just nasty.

Are you still with him?

Pretty sure your husband was a willing participant

No Im not with him and its upsetting that so many of you are jumping to assumption im trying to get revenge and putting all the blame on her.

I know what he has done and it is heartbreaking and im going through hell. As much as I am angry with her this isn't a revenge stunt it's simply wishful thinking that I won't ever have to bump into her again.

It took my little boy a long time to settle into nursery so I'd really rather not disrupt his life any further by moving him to a new nursery

If there is an age gap they may well not sack her as I would certainly feel uncomfortable if someone lost their job if it was the (fairly common) much older man dynamic

@SpaghettiWithaYeti they are the same age. She added him on social media and started chatting to him and it went from there

Then you really need to move to a different nursery. You can't expect someone to lose their livelihood to suit you, tempting as it may be.

Glad to hear you're not still with him, though.

Sorry OP but I doubt she will get the sack. You should start looking at new nurseries now.

Not a sackable office and pretty vindictive to try and get somebody sacked! He had an affair, it could have been with anyone, it was with her. Either move nursery or put up with it as he won’t be at nursery forever.

Why do you want her to lose her job? Just sounds bitter, which is understandable but not realistic.

I know a primary school teacher who had an affair with a parent (both were married) and she’s still in her role, so I’m not sure this is a sackable offence. I’d look at alternative provision for your son, at least then it’s in your control. Sorry you’re going through this 💐

This is a personal matter, and shouldn't really be a sackable offence. She had an intimate relationship with another consenting adult. There's no reason her professional capabilities should be called into question. If you're finding it so difficult to do drop offs and can't get past it then it's likely better for you to find another nursery. I can understand your upset over the situation but trying to make someone lose their job because they slept with your husband is unreasonable

You are trying to get revenge though. You're unable to manage your own emotional response to seeing her at the nursery so you're trying to get her sacked...

Which country are you in? Personally I have never heard of that being a sackable offense.

What a shit situation OP. I hate how women on here are always told to re direct their anger at just the husband as if the other woman is completely innocent. She's equally as responsible for the affair and it sounds like she sought him out as well. She knew he was married. She knew he had a child in her care with his wife. Not being married to you, doesn't make it ok to start and continue a relationship with a married man. But I expect she won't loose her job. It is incredibly embarrassing for the nursery but I think it's unlikely they can sack her for it. She would likely have a case at tribunal if they did. I would look for another nursery for your son. I'm actually surprised the nursery itself hasn't recommended you do to be honest.
When you say 'a report was sent out' what do you mean by that? Sent out to other parents?

Statistically much more likely for it to have been the other way round even if the husband told you otherwise so make sure you're correct about who approached who before you start gunning for her job.