Is anyone working full time with a 3 year old?

[mommycat]

Hi,

I've recently lost a great part time job that I had for a very long time. I'm finding it hard to find part time work , though I have registered with workingmums.co.uk and www.womenlikeus.org.uk.

my DD is 3 1/2, with a September birthday, so she won't be in reception until Sept 2009. At the moment she has just 3 mornings at a fee paying nursery. she's on the waiting list for a free school nursery.

childcare isn't really the issue so much as how much i would miss her, though.

It seems there are far more full time jobs out there than part time. So I've been interviewing for full time jobs even though I don't really want one. It's nerve wracking really. I am close to getting one of these full time jobs, too. i'm afraid I could be making a huge mistake.

do any of you work full time with a child under 5 years old? do you leave for work at 8 am and get home at 6 pm - giving you only a few precious hours each day + weekends? I really feel like I would miss my daughter if I worked 5 days a week. but maybe it's ok. How do any of you feel about this?

Thanks for any input, advice, etc.

I don't know if this will help but I felt as you do, I knew I would miss my DS too much if I worked those hours - and I felt (personal feeling, not judging other ways of doing it) that I wanted my ds to have a parent at home with him pretty much most of the time while he was a pre-schooler.

I did HAVE to work and got it down to two days a week at the most, but I did various odd jobs really; a weekend job in a local museum, worked at Marks and spencers part time....

I think local councils are a good place to try for jobs because they HAVE to abide by their own policies in terms of offering job shares, flexible working, family friendly/work/life balance etc etc.

What work do you do?

I guess it depends on the work but it worked fine for me to do some diddly part time jobs for a few years and now DS is at school in year one I work almost full time again in a job that I'm qualified for (social work related)

i guess I just wanted to say that lots of people feel as you do - the pre-school years are precious and are gone so fast that IMHO it's worth working round it if you can so you can be at home a bit more

However I do think it's important to say that your DD will be FINE if you work those full time hours; kids always know who mum is and she won't love you any less!!!

Message withdrawn

I work in web design, a field mostly populated by bright young things happy to sign forms opting out of EU regulations on a maximum 48 hour week (one agency even wanted me to sign such a form).

It's mostly 9-5 or 8-6 or something like that. I'd like to try a career change, or something lighter like Honoria mentions, but as my mortgage insurance policy is refusing to pay out I feel like I don't have time to look at other options but must rush into anything.

I have a disabled DH, also a slight worry as he can't really cope with full time childcare.

Thanks for your input..

Hi Mummycat, i work full time and my DS has just turned 2. I drop him off at 0730 and pick him up at 1800. To be honest it is hell, i hate leaving him and would do anything to be a SAHM but with a mortgage and bills to pay its not practical. My DH also works full time but has a good shift pattern so we have fallen into a good routine. Im lucy that my mum looks after DS, if i had to pay nursery fees i'd probably be bankrupted by now!
Hang in there, im sure your find something that suits you real soon. Mu fingers are crossed for you

When I went back to work when DS was 4 months old as financialy I had to. But I went back 4 days a week. He was in day nursery for 2 days and my mum had him the other 2 - this worked fine for him.

When DD was born - she was not the happiest of babies and I found it very difficult, I went back to work when she was 7 months old - again because of financial reasons, 4.5 days a week, working the half day from home. DD was with a childminder. At first it was OK but as she got older - the days I was at work she reallly missed me and the half day off I had - she napped. One night I was trying to get her to go to bed and she just would not settle - she said but Mummy I haven't spent enough time with you, she was 2. So I though that's it I need to change something. I negotiated at work and worked 8.30am to 3pm with no lunch, 3 days a week, one of those at home, and 8.30am to 4pm on the other 2 days. DD was so happy to have me home earlier and settled in to a lovely routine, and I had time to play with her and DS when we got home from collecting DS from school. She is 4.5 now in afternoon nursery at the local school and I still do the same hours. This means I get to pick them both up 3 days a week and take them one day a week. DH now works shifts so he covers some of the time I am at work and my mum the rest of the time.

Those hours in the evening made all the difference to my DD and my relationship and I am so glad my company are so flexible.

Not every one works for such a flexible company but I would seriuosly think about your DD and whether she could cope with you being at work full time. I should have know my DD would not. But she soon let me know!

Good luck with your job hunt and I hope you find something suitable.

My DS is coming up 3 and I work full-time. I choose to do this - my husband is a SAHD. I really enjoy my work, but I was concerned initially about missing time with my son, but it's been fine. I don't rush out of work at 5, because I like being at work. But I put more effort into evenings and weekends than DH does - because he's been doing it all day / all week!

Not now. I'm part-time and my youngest is now 5. But I did. Until my eldest was 9 and my middle child was at school. I had a wonderful CM. She made it possible. She was prepared to be flexible.

Is there any chance you could do some work from home? I'm in IT and I do this 2 days a week?

I work fulltime with a 2.4 month old ds
It was hard to start with, but he loves nursery, i love my grown up time and to be honest our time together is so much more precious and structured that he doesn't miss out on anything

It does take some getting used to though

Both my dh and I work full time and ds (just 2) is full time at nursery. However, we are in academia which is pretty relaxed and flexible - my normal hours are 8.30-4.30 so that I still get a fair bit of late afternoon with ds.

Could you do freelance web design?
Up to you hours then?

I work ft with a 2.8mo. Our mortgage needs my FT salary.
It is exhausting.
Not only do I feel guilty / wish I could spend daytime time with ds, I also feel so knackered in the evenings after work, that the time I do have with him ( apart from weekends) isn't exactly quality and I find myself waiting for his bedtime, so I can 'switch off'.
Nursery is silly-expensive.
BUT
DS goes to nursery 4 afternoons a week ( is with DH the rest of the time). He loves it.
You could ask employers if they would consider a 4 day week. Or even a 9 day fortnight...it would save them money too!

Sorry. Wish I could say it is fine and fabulous. Maybe it helps if the job is something you love?

ok, positive suggestions...in the meantime while waiting for ideal PT job could you do some temping through agencies? Can be easier to find pt stuff that way. Or FT but only for a week or two to cover sickness absence etc...

my child has been in nursery since 6mth old.we are both happy no complaints

lo not 3 but still applicable