WFH with kids - do you do it?

[vanillawaffle]

Do you go and pick up your kid from school and then come back and work for a couple of hours? Does that work out OK for you? Do your bosses mind? I'm wondering if it would work when my little one is 5

I think a lot depends on the wraparound offer at your school.

At ours, it's really flexible for the kids - there is a hall where they do sports and organised activities, an area for reception and nursery only, a crafts area, and a quiet area. My kids do different things depending on their mood and energy levels, they don't come out exhausted at all. My ND eldest really loves it.

And also on your job - it really wouldn't go down well for me if I tried to block out 3-5 every day. I have a certain amount of flexibility and am fairly senior but that's blocking out almost 30% of the working day and I simply couldn't do it routinely.

Finally, I think it's one thing to do it once a week where a chance to watch a movie might be a treat for a child but 5 X a week doesn't seem great for the majority of children

We used wrap around care until DC were secondary age despite DH wfh.

When DC was 4 there was a year where we couldn't get a nursery place until 5pm only until 4 so he used to try to bring her back to the office with him for the last hour (self employed) but it was completely pointless. He could never get anything done and had to make it up in the evenings. He still recalls the memorable moment when his conference call to an important client was interrupted by DD shouting 'I need a poo!' 'Daddy I need it now!'

Im not sure I know anyone in real life who doesn't do this. Not with anyone under school age, of course, but I can't see much difference between working / playing in 2 different rooms to an adult doing dinner or chores whilst a child plays in another room. As long as they can get to you in an emergency, and you can generally get done what you need to do, crack on.

5 is too young.

maybe year 5/6 but not at age 5

It’s banned under our contract of employment. Same in other corporate firms. If it’s discovered you’re working from home with under 11year old children, your right to work from home is withdrawn.

I do for the odd couple of hours here and there in holidays (youngest dc is 6 - others are teens so don't need childcare).

Our nearest sports holiday club runs 8.30-3 and dh is home about 5pm (I work till 6). I take lunch 2.30-3.30 to pick up. Then I settle dc with snacks/books/ipad and carry on 3.30 to 5.

Usually dc is so exhausted after a day full of various sports I don't hear a peep from him...and I don't feel guilty about ignoring him to be babysat by the ipad for that time, he's more than happy to be sitting in peace after a busy day!

Not at age 5. My DD was 5 during lockdown and working from home with her around (even with DH, who was furloughed, to do childcare) was difficult. She’s 9 now, and is in after school club for the two days I work until 5. On other days (I’m part-time) I work until 3 then collect her from school.

For the past year or so I have occasionally logged back on after we’ve got home from school if it’s a very busy time, or there’s a meeting that couldn’t be changed. However, I always make it clear that I’m at home without childcare because it’s out of my normal hours, and there could be interruptions. DD is happy to have screen time and entertains herself, but it’s still hard to focus as I would normally.

I have one colleague who seems to have no childcare - his kids are about 6 and 3 now, and if you call him after 3pm he’s there working in the living room with the kids in the background. His wife also WFH and he says they alternate looking after the children so don’t need after school care or holiday childcare. It’s quite noticeable that his projects are not going well and he has to be chased to respond to queries. I find it incredibly frustrating to deal with.

Interesting point from PP about the viability of wraparound care. I’ve noticed DD is one of only a few Year 4s in after school club and I assume it’s because parents of older children are WFH with them. Luckily there are enough younger children there to keep it going.

but I can't see much difference between working / playing in 2 different rooms to an adult doing dinner or chores whilst a child plays in another room.

Chores and dinner prep can be interrupted, work can't.

If you're WFH then you need to concentrate on your job. Your child can't chat with you about their day, play loudly in the next room, ask for a snack, help with homework or just spend time in the room with you. So many of our children tell us they go home and have to be quiet as their parents are working.

I don’t block out 3-5. I block out 3-3.20 while I pick them up, then work the rest of the time. My kids can amuse themselves without screens though, so maybe I wouldn’t do it if they weren’t able to. They read, draw, play, do their homework… normal kid stuff.

As an employer, you can get reports from Teams to see the level of activity at an individual level. Same for pretty much all applications, not just Teams.

I've always wfh with my dc. From when youngest was 6ish in school holidays etc

Normal days, dp takes them to school in a morning and they get dropped off about half an hour before I finish in an afternoon.

I don't think it's possible with really young dc though

Yes since my youngest was 7 (now 11)

Mine get the bus home so no need to fetch. They cone in. Get a snack and do home work or watch tv.

This 👆

The fact that some think it is acceptable since the pandemic is going to spoil it for the many. I used to be a big advocate of flexible working, but productivity has reduced massively since in my experience when people work from home. I had to pull people back into the office as a result.

I mean, it very much depends on your job. There is absolutely no issue in mine if a child comes to chat to me for 5 mins between the hours of 3.20 and 5. I’m fairly senior, can manage my own diary, and very often work outside of a 9-5 anyway so I’m certainly not taking the piss in terms of the hours and effort put in. I’ve been doing it like this for a year and have had a promotion and large bonus in that time, which I’m sure wouldn’t have happened if my performance was being affected.

I wouldn't have been allowed to do this just because my employer wouldn't allow flexi time, they are very rigid with the working hours. I did do it I think twice when she was off school sick, she was 5, it was fine. She basically just watched films all day as she was poorly anyway. More recently our employer has forced us all back into the office though anyway so that's great as a working parent, the small amount of flexibility we did have has now been withdrawn (across the employer, nothing personal).

I don't think I'd want to do what you're describing 5 days a week after school, because the days I pick up my 5yo she wants to tell me about her day, she spends aaaages walking home as she talks to her friends, she wants a snack when she gets in, and I wouldn't want to shove her in front of a screen straight away every day. But if it was only 1-2 days a week then I probably would tbh to save on some of the cost of asc. It does depend on the child though I think, mine is very used to me and DH WFH (usually she's with the other parent in the house, I mean), so she knows not to disturb if someone is on a call/has the door closed unless emergency etc.

To add - at my workplace no one would bother unless it was interfering with work.

Yes we plan to have whoever is working from home that day collects DC during a late lunch break and then it’s only an hour and a half really until work ends and it’s easy to work with a laptop on the sofa for an hour.
we both have really flexible and understanding employees who value an output based approach rather than hours on the clock.

I think it's acceptable because my workplace thinks it's acceptable

We can wfh more days if required in the holidays

Years back when wfh was not the norm, I did it about twice but that was to suit work, not me.

I finished work before doing school run but was asked on a couple if occasions to join a telephone conference after my normal finish time. I said I'd accommodate but they needed to understand that my DC would be home and whilst I'd ask not to be disturbed for half hour or so, I couldn't guarantee that they might not need me.

I think it's okay to do what you ask occasionally and preferably with older DC but it shouldn't be allowed as the norm. It's not fair to the DC or work.

Depending on the job, you could make up the hours once DC is in bed.

I think mine will be able to do that from 8ish but at 5, no. Or not reliably enough for me to be able to do a serious meeting and guarantee no interruptions.

If you don't have that kind of meeting, I can see it might be different. But I am not just having a chat with a colleague, I am often doing external meetings and it wouldn't be a good look to have a child pop in to say they couldn't find their blue pencil

There is absolutely no issue in mine if a child comes to chat to me for 5 mins between the hours of 3.20 and 5.

It might not be an issue for your employer, but it's a problem for your child. Do you honestly think it's fair to them that they can only spend just a few minutes chatting with you, after they return home?

Yes I remember coming home from school and wanting to chat through my day

I think it's bad for kids' self esteem. They're so happy to see you at the end of the day, then you're there but saying something else is more important than them. Imagine how it feels for them.

Also not fair on your employer.

Better off splitting hours and doing a few when the child is in bed, tho that's not particularly healthy either.

Just get childcare.

My employer is happy to allow this for some people (we are struggling to recruit good people) but it is very much on the basis of productivity and honesty. Some very firm chats have been had with people who were pretending to work but actually doing childcare. The ones where it does work make up the hours properly in the evening or at the weekend.

Yeah I think I'll get wrap around or possibly ask to shift my hours so I can start and end early. Thank you very much