Feel like I'm being unfairly treated at work is there any employment legals here or HR people who can help?

[Onehouratatime]

I'll try and keep this short.
I am a single unsupported mum to 2 disabled children aged 12 and 5. Primary and secondary both with their own different issues.
I work 2 days per week Monday and Friday.
I had to take time off for dependant (daughter) as she was sick Friday 8th March and Monday 11th March. Today I went to work and got sprung into a "fact finding" meeting I didn't know about (I think this is OK?) During fact finding I was told/asked the following:-
1 - my leave on the Monday 11th March would not be classed as time off for dependant but classed as parental leave as I could have forseen it coming (?)
2 - who looks after your children so you can socialise and have nights out?
3 - looked after your children when you went on your trip to Amsterdam? (1 night trip taken during non working days)

Is statement 1 correct?
Can they even ask me question 2 and 3?

They also asked me to provide evidence my children were off school during time off for dependant times in the form of documents from school - are they allowed to do this?

Feel like I am being bullied and treated massively unfairly. Since July 2023 to now I have taken 3 days off personally unwell 2 days with a UTI where I attended out of hours hospital because it was that bad - evidence given and once when I had a emotional breakdown at work due to a relationship break down.

Thank you.
Sorry if my typing is awful can't sleep for working.

I don’t understand why they’re taking you through a disciplinary process. If you told them you couldn’t come in on that Friday as your child was poorly then it would be up to the company and their policy in terms of whether they pay you for that time or you take it unpaid but you’re entitled to the time off. And technically they don’t have to give you dependent leave for the Monday as technically you could have tried to source alternative childcare, and so it is correct that they can ask you to use unpaid parental leave. But I don’t get how this is a conduct issue! It is up to the company whether they give dependent leave or not?

If they are kicking off a disciplinary process because they feel you have in general had too much time off, then that would make more sense. But they would need to demonstrate why it is an unreasonable amount of time off so if your child/children have a disability they need to factor this in to the reasonableness, if you have evidence from the school of absences/suspension, and any diagnosis then these things will be helpful but I wouldn’t give them copies of anything, I would just bring them to show them when they do their investigation. And they also need to demonstrate if you’ve breached any policies so it would be a good idea to have a read of them so you can show them how you haven’t breached them.

Questions 2-3, or could be argued that these are discriminatory, but it might be helpful to them if you are able to explain the support you have in general and why it is difficult when things go awry. Best of luck OP

The Monday shouldn't of been parental leave as my daughter was unwell it wasn't a pre planned event as such therefor I said it should remain under time off for dependants however if the company wants to put it as parental leave then I'm happy for them to do so as parental leave is a more protected right.

Policies don't say anything about accumulated leave...very lacking policies really... the polices arnt even in our company's name but another company!

Thank you @Flipzandchipz
Yes they have seen all evidence of my children's disabilities in depth and lenght and I've been open and honest throughout. My family are very hard to pin down for childcare... they hardly do anything apart from the Amsterdam trip and that's only because it was my sisters 30th that they did that for me

It's a rock and hard place situation I guess

Well i think the main thing is you need ti get in writing exactly what they are doing in the disciplinary. I have to confess I'm not entirely clear from your description but the point is you need to be clear. If you are not or don't understand their letter then ask HR to clarify.
Because if they've taken you through a disciplinary then they believe you've not followed a process so you need to be clear what process and what you've done or failed to do

Not HR, bit I'd be most interested if they ask the equivalent questions to single fathers. I think I already know the answer.

Sending you strength OP.
Sounds like a very tough situation to be in x

Thank you all. Its hell and so toxic

I think as pp’s have said then, they need to be very clear about what policies you have actually breached. If they policies are lacking then that will go in your favour. But I guess the Monday part, it isn’t pre planned but they could argue for parental leave instead of dependents leave on the basis that the Friday was urgent and unforeseen but the Monday although not pre planned could have been foreseen but whatever the semantics, as long as they are giving you the time off, as to whether it is paid or unpaid is at your employers discretion. But this is why I don’t understand why they feel this aspect is misconduct. If you’ve been open and honest about why you couldn’t work, you’ve not tried to trick them, so where are they getting that this is a conduct issue would be my question

They definitely need to be clear about what the actual allegations are so that you are able to fairly respond