Feel like I'm being unfairly treated at work is there any employment legals here or HR people who can help?

[Onehouratatime]

I'll try and keep this short.
I am a single unsupported mum to 2 disabled children aged 12 and 5. Primary and secondary both with their own different issues.
I work 2 days per week Monday and Friday.
I had to take time off for dependant (daughter) as she was sick Friday 8th March and Monday 11th March. Today I went to work and got sprung into a "fact finding" meeting I didn't know about (I think this is OK?) During fact finding I was told/asked the following:-
1 - my leave on the Monday 11th March would not be classed as time off for dependant but classed as parental leave as I could have forseen it coming (?)
2 - who looks after your children so you can socialise and have nights out?
3 - looked after your children when you went on your trip to Amsterdam? (1 night trip taken during non working days)

Is statement 1 correct?
Can they even ask me question 2 and 3?

They also asked me to provide evidence my children were off school during time off for dependant times in the form of documents from school - are they allowed to do this?

Feel like I am being bullied and treated massively unfairly. Since July 2023 to now I have taken 3 days off personally unwell 2 days with a UTI where I attended out of hours hospital because it was that bad - evidence given and once when I had a emotional breakdown at work due to a relationship break down.

Thank you.
Sorry if my typing is awful can't sleep for working.

BH and Christmas shouldn't be taken from your allowance. So you should have around 10 days plus BH. Essentially, you should be able to take 4 or 5 weeks off in a leave year.

This isn’t quite true for someone who works in the days most bank holidays fall.

in the 25 days leave plus 8 BHs situation described, the OPmwould get 40% of the entitlement, usually in hours. (Some have enough info to calculate accurately.)

So 10 + 3.2 days.

6 of 2024’s bank holidays are on Mondays or Fridays. To take them off OP needs to use 6 days leave to cover them. She then has 7.2 days left to book herself. That’s almost 4 weeks.

I think you’re in a very difficult position, have you explored getting UC and reducing your hours further?
Legally school should not be excluding your DS if he has identified needs, but I know that doesn’t help! Have you applied for DLA and carers allowance for him?

Call ACAS on Monday and get some advice on how to approach this.

I can see why they might want clarity. You went on holiday on Friday afternoon, and had to leave work on that day to collect your son from his suspension. I think they may be wondering on one hand how you could be needing to collect your DS early from school as he was so unstable that he was suspended, and on the other hand, able to go on holiday that same day, leaving him with someone else. It may have crossed their minds that it was convenient for you to need to leave early on the day you went on holiday.

I don't think it's unreasonable for them to ask the question 'Who had your children when you went away?' You don't have to answer it, but it would make things clear for them if you said "My mother looked after them once she got home from her work at 17.30. I left for Amsterdam at 19.45."

That works. Definitely shouldn't be left with only 4 days though. 👍

If full timers get 20+ BHs then it will be closer to 4.

Try and take representation in. I think they have a fair point with 1) You had the weekend to sort cover from their perspective and it's not really their problem if you can't ( not saying it is right- just their pov). They shouldn't have asked q' 2)and 3) - none of their business.

That sounds really bizarre, but I guess most bank Holidays do fall on Fridays and Mondays.

I think she said she went on holiday the Wednesday - Thursday not Friday?

Either way, it is confusing that you say you have no help whatsoever, except clearly you do occasionally get help

Ah yes, it was Weds/Thurs holiday, work Friday but early finish.

Make sure to take someone in with you (anyone but preferably a qualified person) who can be a witness and make notes for you.
It's incredibly difficult if you are being discriminated against if there's no witness in the meeting taking notes.
Do not rely on your employer taking notes for you - they will be bias and if you don't have your own notes you are screwed.
If you can record the meeting (still have your witness there) on your phone and get the notes transcribed later if necessary.

You do seem to have a lot of time off, but they shouldn't be prying into your private life.

Ask if you can swap days if your children are sick on work days in the future.

I'm a bit confused, OP. You say you have no help, that your family are very unsupportive and that it is "you and DC vs the world". You then also say that both your mother and father have looked after your children in the recent past...

Hi OP, sorry to hear you've had a difficult time. I'm a single parent to two boys, one with ASD/ADHD...its relentless and of course there is no one else.

I work in HR, and I can only advise what we would perhaps do, although personal circumstances are taken into consideration and left to line manager discretion.

We have special leave, which can be paid or unpaid and is non contractual. Leave for dependent care is to "organise" care for your dependent due to unforseen circumstances, such as sickness absence. Therefore, you could say your leave on the Friday is dependent special leave and likely to be paid. Monday however may be down to your line manager, and the circumstance was no longer unforseen, this could then be taken as unpaid leave, although I really feel your circumstances should be taken into consideration. The reality is, there is no obligation to pay you for this, legislation is unpaid, organisations can chose to enhance that to paid.

Although, I would raise the point of carers leave, which comes into legislation on 6 April. My organisation are paying this leave, although the legislation is unpaid. It entitles you to one week (your version of a working week if part time) for planned time off. Such as appointments or taking your child somewhere that would enhance their wellbeing. It is a day 1 right so doesn't matter how long your continuous service is. Your request for carers leave cannot be refused, only postponed for no longer than 1 month of initial request date. You do not have to provide evidence of your carer status. The leave can be taken in full or half days.

In relation to your other 2 questions, I would approach HR. These do no seem appropriate, nor do I see the relevance. It sounds like due to your personal circumstances, a bias has been created. I would accept not being paid for the dependent leave, but I would have a conversation with HR about points 2 and 3.

I think this is the case. Employers just want the work done, and need to treat all employees the same. Also, they are paying you a salary from their profits so if you are off more than you are in, it's questionable if you are the best person for the job. Reasonable adjustments doesn't include paying you when you are out of office more than you are in, the reason for that doesn't matter.

You might be better to look for a more flexible job...

I would offer a compromise ... of going into work on other days to make up the time, even if for less hours due to childcare. The equivalent of a month off over a 9 month period is a lot.

I don’t think they are out of order by saying it’s dependant leave. To be fair legally most places don’t have to pay for parental leave. They aren’t giving you any disciplinary or anything just not paying your time off which is fair??

They have given me a disciplinary using parental leave included In absences which resulted in them saying it was misconduct. I'm now going through a 2nd disciplinary....

The times where my mum and my dad have helped me with childcare have been prearranged pre planned events such as my sisters birthday in Amsterdam which was organised and planned 6 months in advance because both my parents work my mum does shifts and my dad works for himself. So for illness and suspensions for my son (who at the time had no ehcp or diagnosis he does now) I literally have noone.

Tried to request I don't get paid all bank Holidays to give me more holidays to take however it was instantly rejected.

Stuck between a rock and a hard place!

@ByQuaintAzureWasp I offered this. Again declined

What is the secondary disciplinary for op? What did it say on the letter advising you of it?

I'm not sure I fully understand the cause for the disciplinary? Is that you haven't followed the absence from work policy correctly.
I am. Not sure if this is NHS or a private clinical organisation but either way they're going have a sickness policy and a leave/absence policy. Read these carefully and make sure you're following these properly.
The fact is that you've been off a lot. If it is NHS then the sickness/absence policy will be followed for everyone regardless as it's trigger based. So it's not discrimination in that sense. But you need to be clear on what you've done wrong and how you can comply with the policy going forward.
I do sympathise it's all very hard for you but then maybe this job is not the right one and you need something more flexible?

The trip to Amsterdam. Never tell your colleagues anything about your private life ever again. Remove all colleagues from social media and tighten it up .

I had similar . Someone had seen me carrying shopping bags from my car on my drive into my house . I live on a main road so it was a colleague passing by in a car or bus who saw me . It was the last day of my sickness that I had been signed off by my doctor. I just denied it .

It's ridiculous...I followed all policies etc for levels of absence.... however given all my absence was either signed off by a doctor, time off for dependants, or parental leave (which they have used against me to add to my level total). All my time off for dependant time was reasonable for each given situation and I did try and source other childcare too however, I was unsuccessful. I was signed off by the doctor and tried to return earlier on phased return however the company didn't respond to any of my emails regarding this and my parental leave was authorized before the date.

But when you said you followed all policies ... clearly they are saying that you didn't because they are saying that the Monday should have been parental leave. Are you disagreeing with it?

What does the absence policy say regarding accumulated leave ?