Being signed off sick, then resigning.

[HerbalTeal]

Has anyone done this?

I genuinely think I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Saw my doctor last week who said she would sign me off work immediately. Haven’t though, as the thought of going back is worse than a break.

I did this. I had 3 months signed off sick, then I resigned and I was granted my 3 months notice as gardening leave.
I had a senior person in HR assigned to me (the risk to the organisation was that I had a case against them for making me so ill), who dealt with everything for me and I didn’t have to have any involvement with my line manager which did help.
What sort of organisation do you work for OP?

Take the break.
I was in a similar situation. I was given propranolol for anxiety & AD. I was signed off for two months and went back stronger than before. The thought of going back was worse than the event. Once back I immediately started job hunting and was out of there within a couple of months. Best decision ever.

I’m sorry you are struggling. Are you able to self refer for therapies in your area (I will find the link), or do you have an employee plan or something? I hope things improve for you soon

Get signed off today and keep getting signed off while you work out what to do

Here’s the link
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/

Thank you. That’s so helpful.

I have been referred already by GP, and also have an anti depressant prescription that I’ve not decided on yet. I would only get ssp here too.

i work at a tech company, an industry I’m well though of, so worried about messing it all up. I feel like I cannot go on here though, I’ve been sick this Morning. I just have far to much to do, no support, target pressure, clients complaining because the company output is so poor. I’m failing, not sleeping, dropping everything but work which then I don’t achieve anything anyway. Throw in family health issues, my own fertility (so I should stay for some mat leave)and I just feel utterly broken.

I did what you’re proposing and don’t regret it but this is good advice. Get signed off. Wait until you’re feeling better to make a decision about going go back or not.

And in due course, if you have children under 12 then you can apply for parental leave I think. Possibly worth checking other work policies re unpaid leave etc.

Do take into account the finances as that’s the only thing I do actually regret a bit. It’s not just the salary but the pension contributions and gap on CV.

But family situation is very relevant too - if you have young children or aging parents who need help etc.

Ah sorry, cross post, I see you’ve mentioned fertility. No wonder you feel broken. You wouldn’t be the first woman to give up work in order to focus on being well and in as good a place as possible to hopefully become pregnant.

My advice, and others will disagree, but life is short, give up work if your partner is supportive of that decision and you can afford it between you.

I feel how absolutely at the end of your tether you are, just through your post. Get signed off. Don't push yourself into making any decisions. Heal and rest.

And you're not failing. Your employer has failed. All you need to is look after yourself. It's very easy to fall into the traps of shoulds when you feel like this, so you need the space.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this.

Get signed off and don't go back in.

I was in a situation last year where I was miserable in my job and I took time off as my mother was in hospital at end of life. She had been poorly for a long time.

I said to my sister at the time that the thought of mum passing made me sad, but the thought of returning to work made me sadder. The shock on her face made me realise just how awful and absurd the situation was. Why was I considering returning to such a toxic place.

I took sick leave, handed my notice in and found another job within 2 months. It wasn't easy but I'm glad I did it and I feel so much better.

I hope you get help and a resolution to your situation soon.

Thanks again everyone for all the support - it has bought me to tears. ❤️ I’ve never ever felt like this before and I’m sorry so many of you have.

I think my husband / the doctor think I’ll do something stupid (which I won’t), that was a wake up call also.

i feeling like I’ve messed my whole life up (and my husbands) with this job, I’m so angry at myself, but also so very very tired and sad.

Please, please get signed off. Fertility issues will not resolve if you’re this sick and stressed. Look after yourself. Please 💐

If you're not well then you need to be signed off so you can get to a place where you're well enough to make good decisions about your work and wellbeing.

You're not alone in being in a situation like this. Any company will have our jobs advertised by the end of the week but we are precious to our family and friends.

Phone the GP right now and get a sick note.
Then take a deep breath and step back.
Focus on getting well and then start job hunting. Once you're well everything else will fall into place.
No job is worth ruining your health over.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon

If the company needed to restructure / fold I'm afraid they wouldn't give you a second thought - it's business.

Get signed off, review in a few weeks but absolutely no job is worth this much stress and angst

OP don't wait until you have an actual breakdown.

I let things get on top of me and I ended up having a complete breakdown a few months ago and even planned to do something silly...thankfully the GP immediately told me I needed to take some time off to give the anti-depressants she prescribed me time to work and to allow my body and mind to recover. I ended up being off for almost two months with the GP's full support and also got care from the mental health crisis team.

I did go back to work but realised the job had contributed to my breakdown and I am job-hunting for something else.

You can self-certify for 7 days and then you can ask your GP to sign you off.

It sounds like your company has a toxic work environment and things will not get better so use your time off to job hunt once you start feeling a bit better then you can hand out your notice.

Your health is more important than this job.

Has your company got an Employee Assistance Programme?

I ended up in a situation where I was burnt out and also being bullied in work. I was signed off sick and then took a few weeks to decide that ultimately I did not want to go back in to that situation. I then the following month fell pregnant after a significant period of TTC (also suffered a miscarriage in that time) and while it was tough financially we managed as I did some contract work during my pregnancy. It showed me what could happen once my body was rested and when I had some time to understand the anxiety and depression the situation had caused. Look after yourself and do take some time to make decisions on your next step don't feel pressured.

I had to get signed off shortly before Christmas because I was so burnt out and there'd been a couple of difficult situations at work. I took two months off to sort out my head, got support from my GP, but I have to admit I was feeling so bad I spent the first few weeks in tears. It was awful, but all due to the stress of my job.

Anyway, I speculatively started applying for other jobs when I began to feel better, and in fact have just started a new job today.

The break did me so much good.

Just thought I’d update on this thread. I stuck it out, still here, it’s still horrific, I literally scream between calls and am a shell of myself. I had a miscarriage last year that a big part of me puts down to stress.

I'm totally trapped.

just in case anyone is searching threads and in one of those ‘should I do it’ type situations with a new job - DONT.

Oh @HerbalTeal you poor love. I'm sorry you're still going through this almost a year later, and I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. I can completely understand why you're in bits and I get why you feel you need to stay there for future maternity leave.

If you read my earlier post from 11 months ago, just above your update, you'll see I'd just started a new job after a stress related breakdown at work. I want to tell you that I'm still there, much happier, my life has changed so much in immeasurable good ways since leaving my previous, awful, stressful job and I'm so glad I did it.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is please put yourself and your health, both physical and mental, first. Taking time to look after yourself is the most important thing.

Sending much love and support your way.

Personally I would get signed off due to stress at work. This will give you time to figure out what you want to do. However - don’t resign! You can normally be on stree leave for five months with full pay (depends on your contract) then you will be pushed to either return or mutually agree to leave - which will
mean the company will have to pay you to leave. Good luck.

Thanks for your update. I have learnt the hard way that no job is worth your health and happiness. Why did you decide to stay? Urgent exit required.

I stayed because we agreed I could quit. And then I just took it one day at a time. Mainly I’m just trapped here due to trying to conceive and having a decent mat package that it seems foolish to give up. I’m also due a bonus in feb which I’m also trying to cling on for.

I’ve gone from managing a team of 3 to a team of 20 in a totally different role that I neither wanted or am equipped to do. It’s the most toxic pressured place and I cannot believe I ruined my life to take this job. But due to the mat thing I’m stuck. I’m 42 so real last chance saloon days of getting pregnant. What a mess eh.

oh Op i'm so sorry to hear this. I've been in my job for so long and the longer it goes on the harder it is to leave. I have terrible anxiety about it all the time because i honestly don't know what else i could do so i have to suck up the bad times for fear of loosing my job. It's an awful place to be in and makes me tolerate some awful times.

My heart goes out to you and i hope you find a way out or a way to cope with your situation.

I say this with respect and empathy for your situation. Given you are 42 and facing fertility challenges, including a miscarriage you believe was caused by stress, can you really afford to stay in this job? Your words of “last chance saloon” make me think that you are possibly going to forgo the generous mat leave policy one way or another. Either you stay and the stress prevents you from getting pregnant or causes another miscarriage, or you leave, let yourself heal and give yourself a fighting chance of a full term pregnancy but without the mat leave pay. Hopefully you don’t take this as too harsh, but another way to think about your situation.

i do understand how it can be hard to leave employment, especially if you feel out of your depth and lacking confidence that things would be better elsewhere or you would even have good prospects elsewhere. That is where I am at currently.