Page 3 | Being signed off sick, then resigning.

HerbalTeal · 2024-02-19T07:06:58+00:00

Has anyone done this? I genuinely think I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Saw my doctor last week who said she would sign me off work immediately. Haven’t though, as the thought of going back is worse than a break.

Mrsplants · 10/09/2025 09:33

Also OP not sure what meds they gave you but when I was signed off work I started citalopram and it changed my life. Before taking them the anxiety crippled me, heart hammering in meetings, and now I am so much more confident and happy. I took them all the way through fertility treatment and was told it was fine. If you’re trying to get pregnant and it’s worrying u starting meds look at BUMPS (best use of medication in pregnancy). Many many women take anti depressants during TTC or pregnancy.

Madreamigajefa2 · 10/09/2025 09:48

I got signed off and knew the workplace was so awful I couldn't go back, so resigned within a week of being signed off. I don't regret not going back, but resigning so quickly that I could barely string a sentence together and was in no fit state to apply for jobs. It's nearly a year on and the gap on my CV whilst I've recovered has been a barrier to getting jobs. I was also ineligible to apply for job seekers because I resigned.

Original poster

HerbalTeal · 10/09/2025 12:33

Thank you all - your helpful words are really appreciated. Those of you have done it though, it’s that feeling of leaving others in the lurch isn’t it? It’s shit here, but they are carrying on

OP posts:

guiltridden25 · 10/09/2025 14:43

HerbalTeal · 10/09/2025 12:33

Thank you all - your helpful words are really appreciated. Those of you have done it though, it’s that feeling of leaving others in the lurch isn’t it? It’s shit here, but they are carrying on

But that’s up to them. I’ve worked in places where everyone left but me, I felt guilty about being the last one standing so stayed. Now I wish I’d left when the rest did! You’ve got to take care of yourself.

strugglinguphill · 10/09/2025 14:58

Yes! Had 6 months off, was very poorly. First day back was awful, very unsupported so told them to it would be my last! Very happy to walk out of such a toxic environment and don’t regret it for one moment. I worked for them for 10 years!

Y0gamummy · 10/09/2025 15:35

Was in your position earlier this year. Hit a wall, knew I couldn't continue at work. Took a week off and realised a few days into that I would need more. Was off for 2 months in the end and by the end of it, I knew I needed to move on. Was offered another job not long after going back to work and was able to resign. Take a step back. Take your doctor's offer of a sick line and use the time to put some space between you and work. It's the only way to see how much of how you're feeling is caused by work. For a lot of people, that space makes it crystal clear that they don't want to go back. I spent months trying to work out how much of work situation was down to me and how much down to them. Once I was off, I realised it didn't matter - my mental and physical health were palpably better with every day I was away and I knew I had to find another option. Be kind to yourself and trust that the time will help x

toxicjobrec · 10/09/2025 17:31

I resigned and took sick leave (3 months total) and made a post about it. I was so badly treated that the thought of leaving people in the lurch paled in significance to the fact that my health was taking a battering.

Prioritise you. This has gone on for far, far too long. Self-certify for 7 days, then extend and hand in your notice. You owe them sweet fuck all.

Still haven't been offered a job (working on it) but the feeling of being able to sleep through the night - for the first time in ages - was indescribable.

Beautifulpeartree · 10/09/2025 20:37

HerbalTeal · 10/09/2025 12:33

Thank you all - your helpful words are really appreciated. Those of you have done it though, it’s that feeling of leaving others in the lurch isn’t it? It’s shit here, but they are carrying on

Not, I am not worried any more about letting people down. I am happy that I put myself and my wellbeing first. You are replaced and forgotten in the blink of an eye.

I used to worry before but all the politics and partner unfair treatment and occasionally bullying made my decision easier. Her treatment was impacting my mental health and confidence. I used all my sickness leave as ended with burnout; couldn’t face returning to work my notice either.

Beautifulpeartree · 10/09/2025 20:43

Y0gamummy · 10/09/2025 15:35

Was in your position earlier this year. Hit a wall, knew I couldn't continue at work. Took a week off and realised a few days into that I would need more. Was off for 2 months in the end and by the end of it, I knew I needed to move on. Was offered another job not long after going back to work and was able to resign. Take a step back. Take your doctor's offer of a sick line and use the time to put some space between you and work. It's the only way to see how much of how you're feeling is caused by work. For a lot of people, that space makes it crystal clear that they don't want to go back. I spent months trying to work out how much of work situation was down to me and how much down to them. Once I was off, I realised it didn't matter - my mental and physical health were palpably better with every day I was away and I knew I had to find another option. Be kind to yourself and trust that the time will help x

So true. Once you step out you realise how much was impacting you. And so true the other post about being able to sleep properly again without thinking of the job 24/7. Once I was out there was no coming back for me.

Original poster

HerbalTeal · 16/09/2025 08:33

I’m so sorry. It’s me again. I have a fit note now but not used it. I’m just overwhelmed I think of everything I haven’t done if I do go, and who will have to do it. I keep throwing up, I feel jumpy / panicky. But so much to do. 2 f my team have been signed off recently. I don’t know if a coach / therapist would be better? I feel like in trapped in a spiral, and I can’t get out.

OP posts:

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 16/09/2025 14:13

I mean this both kindly and gently, but OP you started this thread in February of last year, more than one and a half years ago. Nothing seems to have improved in that time. Why wouldn't you use a sick note? Why wouldn't you leave? What, really, if you think about it deeply, is keeping you there?

LemograssLollipop · 16/09/2025 14:24

I've been there.

Your job is to look after yourself. I didn't and I was like you - failed at work because I didn't have the support but didn't speak up. Missed deadlines. Received complaints. Made me irritable, stressed and I failed my family and kids. Relationship suffered. I was let go anyway. So it was all for nothing.

I say this kindly, take the time off work. Use it to feed yourself properly and rest. You will work out what to do. Resign on your own terms... Keep that control of your life.

Don't soldier on, that's the last thing you should do. Take it from someone who knows.

Wishing you all the best OP 💖

LemograssLollipop · 16/09/2025 14:29

I’m just overwhelmed I think of everything I haven’t done if I do go, and who will have to do it

Not your problem.

Have you told your manager, honestly, the extent of it? If you are up front about it the manager can find a solution. Don't hide it, it will come out and you will come across worse as this is treated as lack of openness and honesty on your part.

Are you able to request a meeting to discuss workload asap?

Damia · 16/09/2025 14:58

You can get out op, even if it feels horrendous. If you left today, just walked with no notice, the world wouldn't stop, the company wouldn't stop, not even your team would. Yes some of your work would be given to others, some of it might just be dropped. And the people who pick up work might be annoyed, but that doesn't affect you, if they are also already overworked they will understand your position, maybe they will leave too... who knows, but all you can control is what you do, and it sounds like at the moment you aren't really controlling anything

FinallyHere · 16/09/2025 17:54

im so sorry you are struggling, and from the perspective of a stranger, this is exactly why your GP has provided a note.

please use it, give yourself some glacé to work out what you need to do for you, and those close to you.

you mentioned upthread that others are ‘carrying on’ give yourself permission to call this toxic time as it is snd step off the roundabout. With time snd distance you can start to heal.

all the best, please don’t keep on.

(I work in a corporate, we are told we are not insured to work if we are signed off. All you need to do is submit the note and it becomes someone else’s problem.

be kind to yourself and all the best )

momtoboys · 16/09/2025 18:23

I'm sorry you are going through this but you need to do something to help yourself instead of just posting about it. You have all the pieces in place that you need to start to heal - a supportive spouse, an understanding doctor, a prescription you refuse to take. No one can do this for you. You either have to take steps to improve things or resign yourself to feeling the way you are now (and have been for a year and a half) for the foreseeable future. As far as feeling guilty about leaving work behind for other people, that's ridiculous. If the shoe were on the other foot, they wouldn't give you a second thought before leaving.

Bigneonsign · 16/09/2025 19:09

EVERYONE has told you to go off sick op. Do it. Now. What exactly is stopping you? Like a pp said you have a good partner and doctor but are refusing to do what you need to do. Why?

Bigneonsign · 16/09/2025 19:10

Fwiw op I once took a month off work due to stress. I needed it. I was at breaking point. They didn't give a shit about me. That was ten years ago now and it did nothing to alter the course of my career in any kind of negative way.

TalulahJP · 21/09/2025 16:38

I don’t know why you have a line but aren’t using it. take a hint and use it.

You’re trapped in a spiral … yeah because you won’t go off sick. Nothing is working… yeah because you need to be off sick.
your mind and body can taje any more. Just go off.

ps your work is insured for you to work in a sick line so you shouldn’t be in there. Go off sick. Now. Stop pissing about.

YellowBlueStar · 21/09/2025 19:14

HerbalTeal · 16/09/2025 08:33

I’m so sorry. It’s me again. I have a fit note now but not used it. I’m just overwhelmed I think of everything I haven’t done if I do go, and who will have to do it. I keep throwing up, I feel jumpy / panicky. But so much to do. 2 f my team have been signed off recently. I don’t know if a coach / therapist would be better? I feel like in trapped in a spiral, and I can’t get out.

Do you mean that you have a sick note, op? In my last place of work, we were not allowed in if we had a sick note from a GP as, if anything happened (an accident at work for example) and it transpired that you were signed off and shouldn't have been at work, you would not be covered by work insurance. Not sure if that is the case everywhere or not.
Please do listen to what people are saying. No job is worth your health. Your health and wellbeing is so important. Don't continue to make yourself ill because of a job - it really isn't worth it.