How do I negotiate my way out of this job well?

[BlinketyBlonk]

i’m in a situation where my boss wants me to leave and I want to leave. How do I work out some kind of amicable settlement rather than a horrible mess?

Background is I have been in the role about 18 months. It’s a major misfit with my skills, and I’d be the first to admit I have been dropping the ball left right and centre. I’m recently diagnosed with ADHD (which they know) and with anxiety and depression (which they don’t) and I’ve found it incredibly hard.

I’ve got a meeting with HR next week which is supposed to be putting me onto a PIP. I really don’t want to drag this out - I think we all know it’s pointless and it’s a more fundamental mismatch between me and the role.

I think my ideal situation would for us to mutually agree an amicable parting of ways now, be able to work part of my notice so I can leave my team in a good place, and be paid for the remainder. The sector I work in is quite a small world so I don’t want to leave under a cloud or screwing up my future employment prospects.

Anyone got any advice on how to approach this.

PIP process is awful for everyone due to the amount of micromanaging and still not getting all the work done. In my 20 years of working in finance, I've not seen anyone improve enough to stay.

I'd be pushing for them to pay notice in full, but not work it. I'd also be looking for a new job while negotiating.

@HappiestSleeping

The compromise agreement only accomplishes one of those things as it potentially reduces their expenditure, but it doesn't maintain continuity as you would be released immediately.

Does this always involve being released immediately? I'm more than happy to work some notice, l don't want to leave anyone in the lurch, but sticking it out for 6 months given the toll it's taking on me seems excessive!

I'd be pushing for them to pay notice in full, but not work it. I'd also be looking for a new job while negotiating

I've got my eyes peeled but unless something brilliant comes along I think I need a mental health break to regroup.

In fact I'd go further than this and say I really DON'T want to be released immediately.

@Watercolourpapier

It could just be that they want to try and manage your performance through a PIP, to work with you and try to improve. They won't want to lose someone so soon after recruitment if it can be avoided. Have you heard of RSD (rejection sensitivity)? it goes hand in hand with ADHD but it can make situations like this very very difficult to cope with. My natural reaction if I've felt criticised (ie put on a pip) is to run away. Is it possible that's what you're doing? With better support you might be able to succeed in the role.

Yeah I know about RSD and a I think a lot of the mental health and work performance struggles I have at the moment are a reaction to my self-criticism and setting myself unrealistic standards (e.g. if I can't do it perfectly I can't tackle it at all).

The external criticism (being put on a PIP) isn't helping for sure but I'm such a harsh self-critic anyway it's just another layer.

But I have been reflecting on this a lot and I feel quite confident that even if I could somehow magic away the ADHD and mental health stuff the role and I still wouldn't be the right fit. I could certainly do it better than I'm doing it now but there's a fundamental mismatch between the skills experience they recruited for and the skills and experience needed to do the job successfully. It's a bit like if you knew you needed someone to sort out your garden and you recruited a florist when you needed a tree surgeon.

No, not always. Since you don't necessarily want to go immediately, it could be along the lines of work 6 week, have 6 weeks garden leave, then be released. That way, they save 3 months pay, you get to do a handover, and there is separation between you and next job.

I would say the least likely scenario in any form of compromise agreement is being paid the full six months, unless you work the majority of it. So you should prepare yourself to have income stop before the end of the six months notice period. It is possible if you were to work five months, they might give you the last month as garden leave, but it depends on the size of the company.

I agree with the previous poster that this isn't ideal for them either as the recruitment cycle is time consuming. Also, whoever hired you isn't going to want to admit they made a mistake, however I also agree with another PP that I've never known a PIP to have any other outcome than the individual leaving the company. I may just have worked for mercenary companies though as it certainly shouldn't be the case. Personally, I've always tried to deal with poor performance long before it ever gets to a PIP situation.

I think you need to have a very clear idea of your ideal situation and your best alternative.