How do I negotiate my way out of this job well?

[BlinketyBlonk]

i’m in a situation where my boss wants me to leave and I want to leave. How do I work out some kind of amicable settlement rather than a horrible mess?

Background is I have been in the role about 18 months. It’s a major misfit with my skills, and I’d be the first to admit I have been dropping the ball left right and centre. I’m recently diagnosed with ADHD (which they know) and with anxiety and depression (which they don’t) and I’ve found it incredibly hard.

I’ve got a meeting with HR next week which is supposed to be putting me onto a PIP. I really don’t want to drag this out - I think we all know it’s pointless and it’s a more fundamental mismatch between me and the role.

I think my ideal situation would for us to mutually agree an amicable parting of ways now, be able to work part of my notice so I can leave my team in a good place, and be paid for the remainder. The sector I work in is quite a small world so I don’t want to leave under a cloud or screwing up my future employment prospects.

Anyone got any advice on how to approach this.

Have they made any reasonable adjustments and/or referred to Occupational Health? When you meet with HR you should ask for this. It reflects badly on them if this hasn't happened as it can affect your performance and therefore they would be to blame, not you, as they didn't investigate adjustments.

No - and all the elements of my poor performance have been intrinsically linked with my ADHD and mental health. You could argue they’ve missed some obvious red flags that I’ve not been coping.

That's not good and it works in their favour if you just leave. I would push back and try to get adjustments in place first. Are you in a union, could they help either with adjustments or negotiating your exit? Definitely ask about adjustments and a referral to OH. Put the onus back onto the employer.

OP you sound a bit naive. You need to consider the best interests of the business before you “negotiate”

If they have a 6 months notice period, presumably it’s for a reason. EG they need someone in place for a handover as it would be difficult to recruit in or train someone to the same standard. Is it a specialist role/skillset/knowledge?

It’s in their best interests to start performance management with you now. It also means that if you do end up staying, they have started the ball rolling & aren’t keeping you longer than they need to. It covers their back if things escalate to a grievance or tribunal.

Therefore you leaving sooner, or not working but being paid for it, is of no benefit to them. They don’t want you to go away quietly or not do anything by the book, because of the risk to them. This is a situation that requires following their procedures to the letter.

Your immediate tactic is to approach this as a reasonable adjustments issue.

You’ve already disclosed the ADHD. How long ago? How have they responded to this?

You absolutely want to disclose your MH issues now too. Their HR will want to ensure they’re not going to fall into disability discrimination territory here.

@Logically4

Therefore you leaving sooner, or not working but being paid for it, is of no benefit to them. They don’t want you to go away quietly or not do anything by the book, because of the risk to them. This is a situation that requires following their procedures to the letter.

I’m really not sure I understand this - surely me going away quietly is in their best interests? Why is it in their interest to drag it out?

(and there’s really no obvious reason for 6 months notice, any more than any other management level job).

What you think of “dragging it out” is them following their company policy and procedure which protects them.

What you see as “going away quietly” goes against their policy and procedures and therefore they are not protected.

if you took them to an employment tribunal it would be obvious they didn’t follow their process, and that could be used against them.

if you hand your notice in, it benefits them to have you there to give some form of a handover or to take on some basic work whilst they focus on training your replacement

There is no rigmarole to managing you out, you can be dismissed for any reason during the first two years. They don’t need to manage you out, they don’t need to go through PIP, they can just say it isn’t working out.

They do have to grant you your six months notice however. So if you don’t want to work six months notice, then I would suggest you negotiate to come to a mutual agreement, which might be that the notice period is shortened and you work some of it and some of it is PILON.

I do not agree that there is much risk of litigation to the employer here so finding something that benefits you both a little would be the best outcome.

I didn't mean to sound provocative, however, from what you have said, it appears that you want to be released immediately but still be paid the full notice period which is very unlikely unless they have a lazy HR department.

The two most likely scenarios are that you resign now, in which case you may be asked to work your notice period, or they put you on a PIP as the first step in moving towards dismissal. The latter you do not want on your reference.

In your position, I would absolutely be trying for a compromise agreement, but you should accept that this is very likely to come with a reduced notice period. It isn't called a compromise agreement without good reason.

Just hand your notice in and say you're open to negotiating your leaving date, that will immediately save all parties the hassle of a pip.
But if you only want to work a month to wrap up, expect them to pay you for a month.
In the circumstances you've described, your odds of getting 'paid out' are close to nil.
The mindset to aim for more when you've under delivered in role takes the piss. Don't forget there's an official, legal / HR route for a reference and then there's the industry unofficial 'network' where even a facial expression over coffee tells everyone all they need to know.
Anyone who underestimates the power of their industry network is an idiot imo...

I didn't mean to sound provocative, however, from what you have said, it appears that you want to be released immediately but still be paid the full notice period which is very unlikely unless they have a lazy HR department

this is absolutely common practice at a senior level across many industries. And I assume with a 6mth notice period OP is senior enough to have a reasonable chance of this happening.

Just hand your notice in and say you're open to negotiating your leaving date, that will immediately save all parties the hassle of a pip

Absolutely do not hand your notice without discussing what options might be on the table

I mean that’s obviously the best possible scenario for me though right? The point of this thread was to understand what’s actually a realistic best case scenario and how to achieve that amicably. I don’t mind sounding like a grabby twat here on an anonymous forum - but I don’t want to sound like a grabby twat when I’m actually going through this for real!

And thanks for the advice, it’s all being taken on board! I have people IRL encouraging me to push hard for a settlement which isn’t really my style.

Of course it is the best possible scenario, but also the least likely.

In your shoes, I would be trying for immediate release, with full pay / benefits but for a shorter time than your notice period and with a reference that says resigned. I would consider it a win to get 3 or 4 months pay with immediate release.

You will definitely sound like a grabby twat (to use your parlance) if you try to go for full pay and immediate release.

As I said earlier, it really depends how lazy their HR department are. I've seen some shockers where things were agreed that I never would. If it makes any difference, I have been at exec level of multi million turnover global companies so have been around the block a few times. There isn't much I haven't seen.

Thanks - this is all completely new to me so advice from people who know what they’re talking about is really appreciated.

Had a meeting with HR which was notionally about starting the PIP process.

I was very honest about what I've struggled with, links to ADHD and mental health issues, and that more generally that there's a mismatch between what I thought I was being brought in to do and what they actually need, and that I thought we'd be better agreeing a parting of ways than progressing down the PIP route.

They were rather more taken aback by this than I was expecting - I thought they would have seen it coming! So will have to see what happens next? What's stopping them saying "stay and go through the PIP or resign?"

I’d tell them that in order to make this a swift exit, you’re happy to negotiate a one month notice period, on garden leave, if they would prefer

I think that assumes they're keener to get rid of me than maybe they actually are? I don't know - I was surprised how surprised HR were that I was nudging the conversation towards a settlement. Perhaps the HR person wasn't as well briefed as they might be, remains to be seen.

They may expect you to just leave with no settlement, if you aren't prepared to try the improvement plan.

@BlinketyBlonk interesting turn off events. I think they're are three possible options:

1. They do want to keep you and are investing in improvement.
2. They are hoping you resign.
3. This is the first step towards managing you out.

You are correct, there is nothing forcing them to offer you anything, they can just put you on the PIP.

Actually, there is a fourth option in that they hadn't thought about any form of compromise agreement, or had dismissed it as an option for some reason.

You indicate that it isn't the role you were expecting. Is that because the job description and interview discussions don't match what you are actually being asked to do? If that is the case, they may not realise this which might work in your favour.

A hugely important part of this is your adhd which it sounds as if it would meet the criteria disability under the disability discrimination act. (I have adhd and have been through similar at my work) It's affecting you for more than 12 months. It's affecting your performance at work and you're not being supported. You are legally entitled to reasonable adjustments. Your employer is on pretty shaky ground here - they know you have adhd, and it wouldn't be hard for them to work out you are entitled to reasonable adjustments. Maybe it's the first time you've laid all your diagnoses out ans that's why the person in the meeting was surprised by what you said. But now they know, i would do the following:

If i was sure i wanted to leave, i would ask if they could just do 1 months notice and you leave without the further 5 months pay.

But if they say no, get referred to occupational health asap for an assessment of your situation to see what reasonable adjustments you need to be put in place to enable you to work the next 6 months without burning out. It may be with reasonable adjustments and the right support, the job might become more closely aligned with what you thought it would be and maybe you'd want to go through the PIP and stay.

If you do stay on for the next 6 months, do the PIP anyway and show willing, even if you feel it's unfair. Not doing so will cause you more harm mentally.

If you're struggling with mental health, you can also take time off sick. Only you can decide if things are that bad.

As is probably obvious by now, different industries do things differently. At places where I've worked, HR's primary goal would be to avoid a legal dispute. Offering a compromise agreement where you are paid full notice, leave immediately, and they waive any non-compete would be routine in return for giving up any potential claims against them.

Your disclosure of disability means that you could have a claim for discrimination even though you have less that two year's service, so you may well have inadvertently focused their minds on this possibility. Which is if course helpful for the outcome you want.

My guess is that HR will come back with proposals for accommodating your disability. Obviously you need to engage with those, but equally you can continue to make it clear that you'd also be open to a settlement agreement.

Last thought - is there a different role in this organisation that might suit you better? If there is, you may find they're more open to helping you transfer than you would have expected.

If it were about managing me out, why wouldn’t they have jumped on me suggesting a compromise? I genuinely don’t know what their game plan is here.

Yes I would say there’s some major dimensions to the role which weren’t really obvious to me at the interview stage (which is exactly what I am struggling with) - arguably some of that was naive on my part and I could have read between the lines with more experience of similar roles, but I do think significant elements weren’t spelled out and I’d have run a mile if they had been.

Last thought - is there a different role in this organisation that might suit you better? If there is, you may find they're more open to helping you transfer than you would have expected.

Not really - I was brought in to do a very specific role.

I agree with some of the other points raised in the last few posts, however most of the companies I have worked in would primarily be interested in maintaining continuity (even a poor performer is better than nothing), and saving cost (I.e. getting the individual to leave without having to pay anything.)

The compromise agreement only accomplishes one of those things as it potentially reduces their expenditure, but it doesn't maintain continuity as you would be released immediately.

My money is on the fact that they thought their recruiting process was perfect, and are surprised that you have said the job isn't as it was advertised.

Is it one particular aspect that might be learnable given the right support, and the rest of it is fine? Or is it more than that? If it is learnable, and they are prepared to support you through the part you are uncomfortable with, is it worth giving it a shot?

I wonder if you're jumping to the worst conclusion here - that them approaching you to be put on a PIP you've catastrophised that they want you out. ADHD will do that to you. (I say this as you're recently diagnosed - I'm a year in and it took pretty much all this time to work out how it affects me in all different ways)

It could just be that they want to try and manage your performance through a PIP, to work with you and try to improve. They won't want to lose someone so soon after recruitment if it can be avoided. Have you heard of RSD (rejection sensitivity)? it goes hand in hand with ADHD but it can make situations like this very very difficult to cope with. My natural reaction if I've felt criticised (ie put on a pip) is to run away. Is it possible that's what you're doing? With better support you might be able to succeed in the role.

You feeling like you should have read between the lines in the interview - that's also probably the ADHD. i need things spelled out to me otherwise I'll miss the information that was between the lines that a neurotypical person would have spotted as a matter of course. It's not your fault you didn't have all the info or know what questions to ask - or even that there were further questions to ask!